Fight Club
by GatesThistle
Summary: The Winchesters find a more lucrative business than hunting: Cage fights. With monsters. To the death. The brothers travel across the country with their manager, Ruby, fighting monsters, each other and addiction. M for language, violence, sex & substance abuse. Angsty Sam/Ruby, and slow and awkward Dean/Cas. Which is the best kind.
1. Chapter 1

"Sam, you are way too drunk to making these sorts of decisions."

"You're not the boss of me."

"I'm just saying…"

"Well stop."

"Yeah, let the kid make his own choices." The man had to be about thirty-five, in a baseball cap who was mediocre at pool and thought he was much better. He was the perfect target.

Dean had to refrain from grinning at his brother like an idiot. They had him in the bag.

"Fine dude. It's your money."

His job done, Dean made his way to the bar and ordered a double, neat.

"You doin' anything tonight?"

Tossing back his drink, Dean turned to the source of the husky voice to find a tanned hand on his shoulder, leading up a smooth arm, over a bare shoulder up to an oval face, sporting two dark brown eyes and bow-shaped lips curved into a smirk.

"I'm sure I could squeeze you in," he said, raking his eyes over her. "Got something in a few hours."

"Sounds good."

Dean glanced at the pool table, where his brother was kicking ass, then over at Ruby, who was 'advertising' their coming fight.

_Sex did always sell,_ Dean thought, with a mental smirk.

He pushed back from the bar and made an open armed gesture. "I'm all yours."

Her smirk widened. "Name's Monique."

"Dean."

"Well then Dean, let's see how much we can get done in a few hours."

XXX

Folding the wad of money over and shoving it in his back pocket, Sam checked his phone.

_In the middle of something. DON'T COME BACK TO THE ROOM._

Sam sighed. "What am _I _supposed to do, Dean?" He muttered to himself.

"I checked out a room too, in case you forgot."

Sam didn't turn his focus away from his phone. "I think I'll just stay here until it starts," he said, refusing to look at Ruby.

"Come on, we've got time before the fight. Your brother obviously thought so."

Sam sighed and slipped his phone in his back pocket along with the money. Slowly, he turned to face her. "I've got work to do. I think you do too."

Ruby rolled her eyes and sat on the stool next to where he was leaning up against the bar. "You guys are famous. I hardly need to do anything. Just drop the name 'Winchester' a few times and half the bar is already making bets. Word travels fast in the underground."

As if to illustrate her point two women looked over at the name and began muttering and stealing quick glances at the pair.

Sam sat down heavily next to Ruby and gestured for a beer. "What are we fighting?"

"There are a few warm-ups before Dean's fighting a werewolf and a shifter in a row, then some guy named Smallwood's taking a wendigo. You are the pièce de resistance, you're fighting a demon Sam."

"What have I got?"

"You get the knife, but this one's good. The odds are in your favor simply by reputation, but she definitely has you in experience. She's been fighting for over a thousand years. She isn't going to be fooled by your usual moves. Come on," she said, getting up. "I'll show you a few tricks, get you warmed up."

Sam finished off the last of his beer and followed her down the stairs to the arena.

XXX

Entangled in sweaty limbs and cotton sheets, and surrounded by various articles of clothing, Dean attempted to untangle himself and get dressed.

Monique was proving to be difficult in that respect. She rolled over to let him off, but ended up pulling all the covers, with Dean still tangled in them, with her, back onto the bed.

"This is flattering, really, but I really do have to go."

"Feel free, no one's keeping you."

Dean hurriedly dressed, and with a quick wink at Monique, left.

"Call me sometime," she called after him.

"Will do."

XXX

What had started out as a quick practice round to get him warmed up had ended up as a sweaty, half-naked wrestling match, the knife long forgotten to the side.

Ruby was currently on top of him, straddling his hips, her hands pinning his shoulders down.

She traced her hand lazily down the center of his chest, sending shivers down his spine to settle into a pool of warmth in his lower stomach. "You're going to have to do much better than that. She's much older than me."

Sam hooked his leg around the back of her knee and quickly shifted their positions so that she was pinned fully beneath his much larger body.

"Point taken," she said, the wind knocked out of her. "But if I were her, you'd already be dead."

Sam sat up so he was in the same position she had been in moments before. Securely between his legs, Ruby was difficult to look at for too long without some sort of reaction in his lower area. "If you were her, I'd still have the knife," he said, avoiding the dark eyes.

There was a slight cough from the entrance. They both looked to the side to see Dean leaning against the wall. "Hate to interrupt anything, but don't I get a warm-up?"

"You look pretty warmed-up as it is," Ruby retorted. She wriggled out from underneath Sam and walked to the other side of the arena for her shirt.

"You have no idea," Dean said with a dreamy look on his face. "There was this thing that she could do, where…"

"Dude," Sam cut him off, reaching for his shirt, which had somehow made it on top of a floodlight. "Too much information."

"Hey Sammy, I'm the one who just walked in on you _In Flagrante Delicto _with a demon. You should not cast stones."

Sam ignored him and tugged on his shirt.

He picked up the knife and stuck it in his belt.

"You're up first," he said to his brother. "You're going to need silver."

"Shifter? Werewolf?"

"Yes."

"Which?"

"Both."

"Wait, I've got _two_ fights?"

Sam shrugged, quirking his lips. "Guess so."

Dean pushed past him to the changing rooms, grumbling. "I blame you," he said, pointing accusingly at Ruby.

"You think you're ready?" Ruby asked when Dean had gone.

Sam shrugged. "If I'm not it's too late."

Ruby gave a conciliatory nod. "Just don't die out there. You guys are earning my paycheck."

Sam gave a half smile. "You're earning it."

"Not anymore," she said. "Tell your brother that and I'll kill you."

"Not if I kill you first."

They were interrupted by Dean's eloquent returning statement.

"Ready to watch the untimely demise of two sons of bitches?"

XXX

The first two fighters were just getting the crowd worked up. They were both human and fake fighting. Not too realistically either. And yet the crowd loved it.

It always shocked Sam how many people showed up to this kind of thing. And the people you least expect to. Middle aged men with anger management problems, young punk lesbians or soccer moms. There were a few demons in the crowd that Sam could spot as well. The only thing they had in common was their bloodlust. It was only just beginning. Soon they would be tearing each other and the fighters in the arena apart.

The arena was surrounded by salt and iron bars crossed each entry and exit. Absolutely nothing that they didn't want in wasn't getting in, or out for that matter. If the apocalypse were to hit, this would be the safest place to be.

A man in his late twenties sat down next to Sam.

"Smallwood," he introduced himself. "Jack Smallwood."

"Sam Winchester," Sam said, taking his offered hand.

Smallwood gave him a curious look. "I know who you are."

"Ladies, gentlemen," a young charismatic demon had taken the middle of the arena. "I welcome you to our next fight." He smiled beatifically as the crowd cheered. "Yes, I'm just as excited for some bloody deaths. Tonight we have some very special guests from out of town. I'm sure you've all heard of them…. May I present… _The Winchesters_!"

The sound was deafening.

Ruby gave Sam an _I told you so_ look.

"Our first fight is the devilishly handsome Dean Winchester, up against the vicious Werewolf. As you saw coming in, the moon is at its peak, and the wolf hasn't eaten in two days. So I hope that the older Winchester is in top form. Or," the demon smiled evilly and scanned the crowd. "Not."

Dean entered, strains of The Rover by Led Zeppelin playing in the background, waving at his adoring crowd and even winking at a select few. Not that they were all adoring. Just as many were calling for his blood.

The iron gate across from him was opened and out barreled a starving werewolf, jaws open wide to accommodate Dean's approaching throat.

Dean rolled to the side, barely avoiding the jagged teeth. He turned quickly and slashed down at the werewolf, just grazing its back. The werewolf made an angered pained growl as the silver burned its skin leaving red marks behind.

"Damn it Dean," Sam muttered to himself. "You've got to get it in the heart. What are you doing?"

Dean had always been one for theatrics and that's why the crowds loved him. He always gave them a good fight.

The werewolf came at him again, this time Dean stood his ground and gave it a solid fist in the gut, leaving it bent over and heaving dryly. It straightened and swiped at him, raking its sharp, thick nails across his cheek.

Knife in hand, Dean finally took the offensive, charging it down. It ran straight at him again. They clashed in the middle becoming a tangled mass of blood and limbs as they crashed to the floor, rolling, trying to gain purchase.

The fight was clearly coming to a climax.

Dean ended up in the dominant position and drove the silver knife into the heart with both hands.

Sam let out the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. Dean's fights made him nervous. He didn't know, but it was nothing compared to the sweaty palms and white knuckles Dean got while Sam fought.

Covered in blood and sweat, Dean made his way over to where Sam and Ruby were sitting.

"Well," the demon commentator said. "I'm sure most of us were expecting this outcome, but a thrilling fight nonetheless. Fifteen minutes until our next fight, Dean once more, against a shape shifter. The betting table is open for the next fifteen minutes."

"The shifters always have the advantage," an anonymous voice from behind Sam said. "They can take the form that will most confuse or emotionally debilitate their opponent."

Sam and Dean shared a look.

"You'd think I'd get used to killing you, with how many shifters I've fought," Dean said, giving his brother a sad look.

"You never get used to it."

"I mean, don't they have any originality?"

Sam shrugged. "They know our weakness, Dean."

"Yeah, I know the spiel Sam."

"You're up again. Good luck."

"Thanks Sammy, but I think I've got this one in the bag," Dean said with a cocky wink.

XXX

"Dean, the bets on you are just raking in the money," Ruby said, facing them as Dean got out of his quick shower, with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Most figured you would win against the werewolf, but it was kind of iffy with the shifter. Work on that."

"You work on that," Dean retorted. "You're the manager."

She ignored him. "Sam, the odds are not in your favor here."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Why not?"

"There are a lot of demons out there tonight and the one you're fighting has a reputation. They know her and let me tell you she is one bad ass mother fucker."

Sam nodded.

"You'll have the knife, but that is your only advantage. Don't lose it."

Sam nodded again.

"Let's get out there then."

They went out to the last few seconds of Jack Smallwood's existence. Blood and bits of fleshy substance sprayed across the arena as the wendigo ripped Smallwood's body in half.

Sam flinched. "Don't they normally keep their victims alive for a while?"

"Not when they're threatened." Ruby was all business and watched emotionlessly as Smallwood's entrails were splattered and spread out across the entire arena and the first few rows of the audience. "Splash zone," Ruby said humorlessly.

"How can you watch that with a straight face?" Sam could barely take the sounds of the wendigo's guttural grunts and the sloshing of blood and insides.

"Hello? Demon."

"Right." It was too easy to forget that the body he was looking at was actually a coma patient and the real thing inside her was a demon. He was actually uncomfortable with how easy it was.

"They're going to take a while for clean up, you need anything else before the fight?"

"Nope, 'm good."

XXX

Sam's entrance was less of an affair than Dean's. He wasn't introduced as 'devilishly handsome' or have a classic rock song playing in the background as he walked in. Nor did he wave or blow kisses. He walked on, trying to look confident and not throw up.

"Another Winchester for you tonight. This if course is a much more fair fight. Dean and Sam have been fighting werewolves and shifters and ghosts since before they hit double digits, but demons are a much more dangerous breed and far more difficult to kill. I give you, Sam Winchester versus Heleana."

Gripping the knife for dear life, he watched as Heleana entered across from him.

_Damn demons,_ he thought to himself,_ always choosing the sexiest hosts possible. Hardly fair._

She was wearing leather pants and a tight black shirt, slightly baring her midriff. Her dirty blonde hair fell in ringlets onto her shoulders. Oversized lips formed a perfect pout and doe-eyes stared out from him under jaggedly cut bangs.

She was definitely playing dirty.

She had obviously finished assessing him and moved her left hand slightly, sending him flying to the left, and crashing into the wall.

Her pout turned into a smirk.

In the audience, Dean was tapping his foot madly. "Bad start, Sammy," he muttered.

Leaning heavily against the wall, Sam took up a defensive position with the knife held out in front of him.

She took a step toward him and flickered out of existence until she was suddenly right in front of him.

Sam slashed violently at the hand reaching toward his throat and left a gash across her palm.

"Paper cut," she muttered to him.

He made another swipe at her, aiming for her stomach, but she easily dodged it and mentally sent him flying again, the knife going in the opposite direction.

Sam tried to get up, but even the thought sent pain wracking through his ribs.

_Face it,_ he told himself, _in a fair fight, you're no match for a demon._

This time he couldn't stop her as she held him by his throat.

Giving up seemed like a very good idea at this point.

Stars were beginning to form behind his eyes.

Dean was just barely being held back by Ruby from jumping into the ring himself.

"He's dying out there!" He shouted at her.

"I know, alright? I'm not happy about it either."

_I'm not going to die like this._

He just knew. That knowledge gave him strength.

"Get. Off. Me. Bitch." He grunted through his closing air pipe.

Somehow it worked. He felt the energy blow through his mind and without even moving a muscle, he flung Heleana backwards, just as she had flung him earlier.

She lay across from him on her back, looking stunned. Her eyes had even changed from black to blue. "How did you do that?"

Sam stood, ignoring the pain in his chest and picked up the knife.

"Die, bitch," was his only response and he sent her permanently downstairs.

For possibly the first time in history, the arena was silent.

And Sam collapsed.

**Author's Note:** I have been looking forward to writing this and beleive me, it is so much fun. So I really hope you enjoy it as much as I do. The story was begging to be written and so far it's been flowing well. I'm in a bit of a rut with my other story, so I'll be working on this one while I try to get the creative juices flowing on the other one. Also, for the record, I do not own Supernatural, and the title obviously does not belong to me.

_Next Time..._

_"Sammy, the case just got even better."_

_"How so?"_

_Dean smirked at him. "_Bisexual_ hookers."_


	2. Chapter 2

_Previously…_

_ For possibly the first time in history, the arena was silent._

_ And Sam collapsed._

_Five Months Earlier_

"Agent Hetfield," Dean said. He folded his badge and nodded Sam's direction. "This is my partner, Agent Ulrich. We're here about the disappearance of Tracy Stone."

"I didn't know her that well," the girl said.

"We just want to ask a few questions, then we're done," Sam said soothingly.

The girl nodded, still silent.

"Anything that can lead us in the right direction?" Dean prompted.

"Tracy… had secrets. She never told anyone but we all figured she was a bad girl, you know, drugs and stuff. There was this bar that she would go to a lot called Gibsyn's. It's got a bad reputation."

"Thank you," Sam said and closed the notebook he had been writing in.

"So, should we check out the bar?" Dean asked casually once they were back in the car.

"It seems to be our only lead," Sam said. "I say we go for it." He looked at his brother. "What are you grinning about?"

"This is the best case ever. I mean first we're tracking this thing that tends to hunt women of a certain reputation…"

"Your favorite kind," Sam added.

"…and now we have yet another stake out. In a bar."

"Dean, this thing is killing its way across the Midwest. We've had to drive all the way from Ohio to Colorado chasing it."

"Silver lining, Sammy."

XXX

"What are we looking for?"

"Well," Sam said, checking his notes. "This thing, whatever it is, keeps changing its form."

"Right, witness descriptions keep changing. Shifter?"

"I'd say so, but we haven't found any of its skin, and we've been looking carefully."

"So, something else that kills its victims and then takes their shape."

"Something."

"I'm going to go talk to the bartender, you stay on the lookout."

Sam nodded and watched Dean approach the bar.

XXX

"Agent Hetfield, I want to ask a few questions about a Tracy Stone. And I'll have a scotch on the rocks."

"A fed drinking on the job. No wonder you haven't found her."

Dean grimaced at him. "Did you know her?"

"I knew of her."

"What did you know about her?"

"She would come here a few times."

"Did you know she was underage?"

"She never bought anything. I didn't break any law."

"If she didn't come to drink, what was she here for?"

"To meet people."

"Let me guess, clients?"

"Bingo."

"Could you describe her latest client?"

"Let me think. She was skinny, blond, sharp features."

"She?"

"Yes." The bartender looked at him like he was stupid.

"Did Tracy Stone often have female clients?"

"It varied."

XXX

Sam had his thinking face on.

"Sammy, the case just got even better."

"How so?"

Dean smirked at him. "_Bisexual_ hookers."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Should we show him the picture?"

"You do it."

Sam approached the bar. "Hey, you just met my partner, Agent James Hetfield? The name's Lars Ulrich, could you tell me if you recognize this woman."

"Never saw her genuinely smile, but yeah, she was here about a week ago. She was with that Stone girl."

Sam nodded pensively. "Thank you for your time."

"Fit the pattern?" Dean asked him.

Sam nodded. "It's definitely the last victim from Kansas city."

Dean shook his head. "What is going on here?"

"Nothing anymore. She's moved on from here."

"Right, let's look for more disappearing prostitutes."

Sam picked up the picture of the blond and slid it to the bottom of the pile revealing a picture of Tracy Stone, red hair and stunning green eyes in a lightly freckled face.

"We'll find her before it's too late," Dean said. "This time, I promise."

XXX

"Found another one," Sam called from the bed he was laying on, stomach down, facing his laptop. "Colorado Springs. Geneva Thompson, twenty-three. Missing persons report filed this morning."

"Let's get to Colorado Springs," Dean said, pulling on his coat.

"Dean," Sam started. "It's a two days' drive from here, she'll be gone by then."

"All the more reason to hurry."

"Dean, we have to find a way of predicting where she's going to be, and you know it."

"What do you suggest? We just sit here and let another girl die?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying," Sam said, placating. "We can drive to Colorado Springs, I'm just saying we need to think about this and find some sort of correlation tying these places together."

"So, you get on that and I'll drive."

Sam rolled his eyes, closed his computer and grabbed his bag. Looked like it was going to be research on the fly.

XXX

"Dean, I think I've got it."

"What have you got?"

"These bars, I found the correlation."

"Well, what is it."

"I was mapping out its route at each of the places where the victims were last seen and instead of finding a pattern in the path, I found that each of these bars are located on a crossroads."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that these girls have been making deals."

"Don't be ridiculous Sam. Deals last for ten years, these girls have been disappearing immediately."

"I'm not being ridiculous. Think about it. You're young, poor and selling your body in some pathetic town, what would you be willing to sell your soul for?"

Understanding dawned on Dean's face. "A fresh start."

"Exactly."

"You think these girls are making a deal with a demon to get out of town and start a new life. The demon temporarily possesses them to get the next soul, then leaves them to their new life in whatever town she reaches."

"Yep."

"You've got to admit, that's pretty good."

"I never said it wasn't."

"But we've got to stop her."

"Of course."

"She's riding these poor girls."

"I know Dean, It's a demon."

"Bitch is gonna burn in hell."

XXX

"Any demonic signs?" Dean asked. He'd just been out questioning friends and family of Geneva Thompson.

"I can't find any. No electrical storms or anything."

"Then how in hell are we going to find her?"

"We're going to Denver."

"We are?"

"Trust me, she'll be there."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's her pattern. She'll go for slightly smaller towns, and then bigger towns. I guess the small town girls want the capital and the urban girls want something smaller."

"And why Denver?"

"Call it an instinct."

"And when we get there?"

Sam shrugged. "I was hoping you would know."

"Great. How many bars on crossroads in Denver?"

"Twelve," Sam answered.

"We can hit all of them in about a week if we split up."

"Sounds good. Let's get hunting."

XXX

It was Sam's fourth night in a row, drinking alone. Dean was in a bar across town, scoping it out.

So far he had seen no familiar red heads.

This was seeming more and more pointless as the days went on. She could have easily been at one of the other bars. But they couldn't be everywhere.

"God, she might not even be in Denver," he muttered to himself.

"Looking for someone?"

Sam turned to face the small brunette who had addressed him. "No."

Dean would have kicked him. It was clearly a line that he was supposed to respond to with "Not anymore" or "Maybe". Preferably with a suggestive look.

But that had always been Dean's area of expertise, not Sam's.

"You sure about that?"

"Yep."

Sam's phone went off. Sam rolled his eyes. It was almost as if Dean could _sense_ his loss of opportunity.

"Sorry got to take this," he answered. "Yep?"

"New missing person. Age twenty-six, brunette, blue eyes. Name of Valerie Wotte."

Sam slowly turned to face the woman who had been talking to him moments before. "Dean. I'll call you back. I've got a situation."

The woman, whose eyes had so recently been blue, now had the black eyes of a demon.

"Hello Sam."

XXX

"Damn it Sam," Dean shut his phone and went to his car. This was important. The demon had changed her meatsuit.

XXX

"Who are you?"

The demon laughed, her eyes were back to blue. "This one's name is Valerie. She wants a normal life in the suburbs of a city far away with two kids and a husband with a well paying job. You can't kill her. Even if you wanted to, it wouldn't do any good. So what are you going to do? Start spewing Latin in the middle of a crowded bar? Face it Sam, I've got you by the balls."

Sam opened his mouth and quickly closed it again. She was right. "What do you want?"

"I want to keep harvesting the souls of these poor lonely prostitutes, but since you seem so bent on destroying that endeavor, I'm here to make you a deal."

"And it will only cost me…_my soul_?"

She laughed again. "Hardly. I'm thinking thirty percent, total and forty percent in bets." She saw his confused look and continued. "You see, I've heard of you. The Winchesters. The very best. Talented. Attractive. Self-sacrificing. Dangerously co-dependent. Annoyingly empathetic."

"Sounds accurate," Sam said with a straight face.

"The whole underworld knows you. Most want your head on a pike. I can change that."

"How?"

"Let me ask you something. Do you want out?"

"Excuse me?" Sam asked, a little thrown.

"Of the hunting business. Do you want out?"

"Sometimes," he answered carefully. A few years ago he would have immediately answered yes. But things had changed.

"This is your way out. Sort of."

"Please explain."

"I think your brother will want to be part of this conversation." She raised her voice a little bit. "Wouldn't you, Dean?" She turned to face Dean's surprised look. "Glad you could make it."

Dean gave his brother a questioning look and Sam returned it with an ignorant shrug.

"Tell me about this deal."

"I know of a much more lucrative business than hunting. You still fight the fight, you still kill the monsters, you still travel the country. Except now you get paid."

"Go on."

"Sam," Dean interrupted. "You can't be taking this crap seriously."

"Go on," Sam repeated.

"Fighting. With monsters. And spectators."

Both brothers stared at her. "You're serious?" Dean asked.

"That exists?" Sam asked curiously.

"It exists. It pays well too."

"You can't actually think we'd go for that," Dean said, but stopped as he saw Sam's pensive face. "Sammy?"

"Dean, just think about it. We could still help people. Less monsters in the world is a good thing, right? And we'd finally get paid. No more credit frauds or impersonating FBI agents."

"Stop it," Dean said. Coming out of his brother's mouth it sounded irresistible. _Don't look now_, Dean mentally scolded himself. _He's using the puppy dog look. I can feel it._

"A few conditions," Dean said, facing the demon. "You stop this soul business. And you leave that body."

She looked indignant. "Who am I going to find?"

Dean remained adamant. "Don't care. Leave."

She looked pissed, but relented. "Stay right where you are. I'll be right back."

The black smoke left her mouth and Valerie was left slumped against the bar.

"She alright?" Dean asked as his brother took a pulse.

"She's unconscious but fine. We'll take her to the police later."

Dean looked up to see the whole bar looking at them. He grinned awkwardly. "She's diabetic. She'll be fine in a few minutes."

The crowd accepted this and Dean rolled his eyes at how stupid people could be.

XXX

At The Medical Center of the Rockies, a current coma patient, on the brink of death woke up with a gasp, nearly giving all attending doctors and nurses a heart attack.

"Now, if you could release me, I've got places to be, people to meet."

"C-could you give us a name?" The doctor stammered out.

The unnamed coma patient grinned. "Ruby. Call me Ruby."

**Author's Note:** Chapter one got a lot of love, which made me extremely happy. Also many of you had questions about the background of the story and how it happened etc. Hope this answers most of your questions. Not all of course, because we have many more chapters before this thing is done. Hope you all enjoyed (I loved writing this chapter).

_Next time…_

_ "Look," she began. "I don't know what you want with me."_

_ "Your boy killed my mother_."


	3. Chapter 3

_Previously…_

_And Sam collapsed._

_And…_

_The unnamed coma patient grinned. "Ruby. Call me Ruby."_

_Present_

Sam came back into fuzzy consciousness.

His eyes fluttered.

"Oh thank God," he heard someone say. "He's alive."

"Dean?" Sam asked, focusing on the fuzzy spot that had just spoken.

"Yeah. It's me. Are you alright?"

"Am _I_ alright? _You're_ the one who's all…fuzzy."

"He's got some sort of head trauma."

That was Ruby. "Ruby," he said.

"Sam, don't talk."

"No, it's important."

"What is it Sam?" Dean asked nervously. "Are you hurt?"

"No, it's Ruby. She's all out of focus too."

"He'll be fine," Ruby said. "It'll wear off." She had to hold back from laughing. Dean looked like a mother hen the way he was fluttering around Sam's bedside.

"But what if it doesn't?" Dean sounded near a panic attack. "What's a hunter who can't see?"

"Calm down, Dean. I said he'll be alright."

"And you're such a reliable source."

"I got you this far, didn't I?"

Dean refused to calm down.

"Dean, I'm fine, really" Sam tried to sit up but instantly regretted it as a bolt of pain split down his skull.

This did nothing to reassure Dean.

"Migraines? What if he has an aneurism?"

"Dean, I won't have an aneurism. I can see you now, all crystal clear."

Dean looked a little more relieved. "Good." He stood up and headed to the door. "I need a drink."

"What happened in the arena?" Sam asked, once Dean had left.

"I was hoping you could tell me. All I know is that it's big and it got every single demon's attention who was in a mile radius. I was right next to you and that bolt of energy nearly knocked me off my feet."

Sam looked a little scared. "What am I?"

"You're Sam Winchester. And that makes you special."

XXX

"Dean."

"Holy shit!" Dean spun around to face a grave person clad in a trench coat and sporting cerulean eyes and nearly spilled his beer all over. "Who are you?"

"I am Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord."

Dean stared at him blankly. "Uh huh."

Castiel cocked his head. "You do not believe me."

"Oh I don't know. I've seen no proof in my whole life to say that angels are real and we've only just met, why should I believe you?"

"I still don't understand. We have met before."

Dean shook his head. "Never seen you before."

"I wasn't in this body, but I thought you might recognize me."

"Whoa, hold on. You're _possessing_ that guy?"

"If that is how you would like to say it. He is a vessel. I required his permission."

"Oh yeah? And what did you do to get it?"

He looked even more confused. "I asked. How else?"

Dean snorted. "You're lying."

Castiel's eyes became a dangerously dark blue. "You dare accuse me of perjury?"

"I dare what now?"

"You may have an important role in the ineffable plan, but to me you seem miniscule."

"Ineffable…? I'm just a hunter turned professional fighter. I've got nothing."

"You have the blood of Winchesters and Campbells in your veins. But I'm here to talk about your brother."

"What does Sam have to do with anything?"

"His… display at the arena. We need you to stop him. If he continues he will blacken his soul."

"Wait, you know about what happened?"

"Yes."

Dean looked at him expectantly. "Well? Care to explain?"

"He has powers."

"Yeah, I know about Azazel and the psychics, but all that crap stopped once he was ganked."

"This isn't about Azazel. This is much bigger than him. It's part of the…"

"Plan," Dean interrupted. "Yeah, and uh, what was that again?"

Castiel looked at him soulfully with big, earnest eyes. "The end of the world."

XXX

Sam had fallen back asleep, and Ruby quietly shut the door behind her as she left, trying not to wake him.

"How sweet."

Ruby nearly jumped out of her skin as she rounded on the voice, drawing her knife with lightening speed.

The demon facing her made a tutting sound. "Watch where you point those. They tend to be sharp."

"Crowley," she growled.

"In the flesh. Rather nice flesh too. Great fashion sense."

"I told you my crossroads days were over. You seemed okay with that."

"That was when you were busy corrupting the Winchesters' souls."

Ruby averted her eyes. "I'm working on it."

"Of course you are. Has he slept with you yet?"

Ruby paused to control the flash of anger that flooded through her at his words. "Not yet."

Crowley tutted again. "You better get on that. It's been five months."

"You don't think I'm trying?"

"Maybe you should find a better host. Maybe she's not his type."

"No, she is. I can tell he wants me, but something's holding him back."

"His brother," Crowley said in understanding.

Ruby nodded.

"Might I remind you that Dean's soul is just as important?"

"I know." The bitter sting of failure ripped through her heart.

"Now now. I'm not here to scold you. I'm here to talk about Sam."

"I don't know what happened. His powers shouldn't be developing so fast without my help."

"Maybe it's time?"

"Not yet." She averted her eyes again.

"You don't want to?"

"I do."

"Dear, I lie professionally. There's no fooling me."

"Go away, Crowley. I don't need your help. I'll take care of Sam. Don't worry."

"We're not done yet Ruby."

He vanished.

XXX

"The freaking apocalypse?"

"That is what I said."

"And you want _us_ to fight it?"

"That is correct."

"But, you saw Sam earlier. He can barely stop a demon."

"I think you'll find the demon will disagree."

"But even so, you want him to stop doing what _does_ kill demons, but also to stop the end of the world."

"Your grasp of the very simple is astounding, Dean."

"Oh, so _now_ you find a sense of humor."

"Listen. You don't want the world to end." Those intensely blue eyes were pinning him to his seat. "So stop it."

And with barely the sound of fluttering wings, he was gone.

Dean stared at where he'd been.

"Prick," he said, and took another sip of his beer.

XXX

"God I'm turning into one of them."

It wasn't a pleasant thought. It wasn't as if Ruby _wanted_ to turn into an overly empathetic alcoholic Winchester. But here she was, drinking her troubles away in a dark bar surrounded by pathetic, lecherous old men.

She tilted her head back, allowing her fifth shot to burn down her throat, grimacing slightly and set the glass down. She wasn't even tipsy yet, and was entertaining the idea of drinking one of the old drunks under the table, which she hoped would teach them a lesson, when the person she least wanted to see showed up.

"Not you."

"Yes me."

"Look," she began. "I don't know what you want with me."

"Your boy killed my mother."

"I got that. It's the job. She knew what she was signing up for."

"She didn't live for thousands of years just to get killed by a punk ass ex-hunter."

"I've had a bad day as it is, can't you just leave me to drink in peace?"

"I want to take this up with Sam Winchester. Where is he?"

"Like I would tell you."

"You might. I could convince you," he said threateningly.

She rolled her eyes. "How old are you?"

"Three hundred."

Ruby nodded. "I've got a few centuries of experience in hell on you. I think I may have developed some resistance to torture of the years. Or picked up a few neat tricks of my own. Besides, Heleana was a bitch, she got what was coming to her."

He swung at her.

She dodged easily, even in her very slightly inebriated state, and bent his arm behind him, slamming his face against the bar.

"This is how it's going to go. I've got the knife, you've got a cocky attitude and an oversized ego. I have your face against this filthy bar, and you're struggling to kick me in the shins as we speak. You leave me and the Winchesters alone, and I'll let you live. You come after us… Well, I've dealt with your kind before. Besides, you saw what Sam could do to your mother. Understood?"

"Get off me you bitch."

"_Understood_?"

"Yes."

She let him go and drank her last shot, slowly setting the glass upside down on the table. "Good. Now run home to mummy… oh that's right, I forgot."

He spat a mouthful of blood out. "What are you doing Ruby? Why are you sleeping with the enemy?"

Ruby raised her eyebrows. "They're better in bed."

With that she turned to leave.

XXX

Sam turned the faucet and looked at himself in the mirror. Far too pale to be healthy. At least he had wiped the blood off. He supposed it had come from his nose but it was hard to tell since it had been smeared across his face.

"Not bad," Ruby commented from the doorway.

"For someone who was passed out all day."

"For anyone."

He studied her face, reflected behind his in the mirror. "Are you drunk?"

"No."

"Just a little bit?"

"The tiniest," she admitted.

"How much did it take?"

"Lost count."

"You demons are pretty good at holding your alcohol."

"You're just jealous."

"The tiniest," he said sarcastically.

He caught a small smile on her face.

"Where's Dean?" She asked.

"At the bar, I think."

"Well you did scare him."

"I know," he said guiltily.

"It wasn't your fault you passed out. Stop looking like that. Has anyone ever told you that your relationship with your brother is unhealthy?"

"You do," he reminded her. "On a regular basis."

She nodded.

He gave her a confused look. "What? No snappy retort?"

She shook her head, and took a step closer.

"What are you doing?" He asked, almost backed up against the sink as she continued her advance.

"Shh," she whispered. She was close now, almost touching him. "It's alright."

"What…?"

She cut him off with her lips.

They were soft and warm. And not unwelcome.

He jerked back suddenly, hitting his head against the mirror. "What was that?"

"Wow, Sam. I mean, you _look_ innocent, but I had no idea."

"Look, Ruby. You can't just expect me to… I mean you're a…." He stopped. Grabbing her chin, he pressed his lips against hers again. And again. Needy and desperate, his breathing growing ragged.

Urging him on, she began to slide her hands up his shirt, running her fingers across his smooth back, tracing each curve and muscle. Her tongue pressed between his lips and he willingly accepted it with his own in a hot tangle.

His thumbs were digging into the back of her jeans, his other fingers lightly brushing the skin of her lower back. She moaned lightly and bit his lip, sucking it into her mouth.

Sam growled at her reaction and turned so he was now shoving her against the sink. Strong hands gripped the backs of her thighs as she felt herself lifted onto the counter. Instinctively she wrapped her legs around his hips, bringing him between her hot legs. With her weight lifted off of her thighs, he could freely bring his hands up, just lightly grazing the inside of her things as they moved up her waist to tangle in her hair. She let out a gasp and threw her head back as he gave a small thrust between her legs. His open mouth moved to her neck where he began to suck and nip his way to her collarbone.

"Sam," she breathed out.

"Mm?" He questioned, his mouth hesitating at her pulse.

"Don't stop. Please."

She felt him grin against her skin and his mouth continued, leaving gooseflesh as he left her skin exposed to the outside air. Her fingers tightened in his hair and as one of his hands slid under her shirt to teasingly brush at her nipple through the fabric of her bra making her hips spasm, grinding against his roughly.

She pulled his head back by the hair and attacked his slightly swollen lips with her own, beginning to rub herself against him harder. Shivering uncontrollably at the teasing friction, he let out a low moan.

Enjoying his reaction, Ruby took control once more and, sliding off the counter, backed him against the door frame, arms around his shoulders.

Picking her up by her thighs again, he dragged her to the bed, not once losing contact with her lips. He pushed her down and pinned her hands above her head with his forefinger and thumb loosely held around her wrist. Her legs were spread invitingly, accepting him between them in a perfect fit.

They paused and both opened their eyes, noses touching.

Then the window shattered.

And all hell broke loose.

**Author's Note:** Another cliffhanger! Better get used to those 'cause I'll be using them a lot. You may grow to hate me for it. Despite being an emotional wimp, I can totally take any criticism you want to throw at me, and even if I do cry myself to sleep because of it, then you never have to know. So leave a review. Even if you hate it. Much love to followers/favoriters/reviewers. You guys are all fantastic

_Next time…_

_ "Sam is _not_ fighting another demon."_

_ "You don't think I tried to convince him?"_


	4. Chapter 4

_Previously…_

"_I want to take this up with Sam Winchester. Where is he?"_

_And…_

_Then the window shattered._

_ And all hell broke loose._

Shards of glass flew everywhere. Sam buried his face into the bed covers and did his best to cover Ruby's face with his arms.

When glass stopped flying, Sam reached under the pillow and grabbed a pistol.

Ruby gave him a look. _Really?_

He shrugged. _You never know._

There were four of them. They had Sam and Ruby surrounded.

"You again," Ruby said pointedly, glaring at the demon from the bar. "I warned you."

"Thanks for that. That's why I brought reinforcements. And caught you at an… inopportune moment." He flashed an evil grin at Sam who glared back angrily.

"Insignificant—do you know what you're messing with?" Ruby said indignantly.

The demon smirked. "Date night?"

Ruby's eyes narrowed. "I will send you back to hell and let you endure an eternity of torture."

"I'll find my way back out. Besides, I'd be more worried about yourself. Or lover boy," he added with a sideways glance at Sam.

The demon drew out a knife.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "It won't kill me," she informed him.

"Not you."

He gestured with a quick nod and two of the demons grabbed Sam off the bed and shoved him to his knees.

The demon crouched down before Sam. "Sammy. Little Sammy Winchester. Tell me. What would your brother say if he'd just walked in? To see you banging a demon? Oh his heart would break. His little." He made a small cut on Sam's cheek for emphasis. "Innocent." Another small cut below it. "Darling." A third cut. "Brother." He dragged the knife down Sam's neck without breaking the skin, to rest just above where his pulse was jumping madly. "He doesn't know. What you're feeling. If he did… well, let's just say, he's forgiven you for so much. How much more can he take?"

Sam looked defiantly at the demon, blood oozing from the three cuts.

"No snarky comeback? No, that's Dean's department."

"I'm willing to take that responsibility, jackass."

"All in good time, Ruby. First I want you to watch me cut your precious Winchester to shreds." He laid the knife at the base of Sam's neck and began to carve down his sternum.

There was a loud bang and Dean stood in the doorway, holding a fire hose. "Eat me, bitches."

Sam used this opportunity to shove the demons off and dive behind the bed. Ruby quickly joined him. Water gushed into the room in a white spray.

The demons' screams were deafening.

"Shit," Ruby said. "It's holy water."

Burns were already beginning to form on her hands as she attempted to shield her face. Sam shoved her under the bed "Stay there."

He scrambled for the knife in his bag as Dean kept them busy. His hand closed around the hilt and he threw it, hitting the nearest demon. He plucked it out and quickly took out another one. The boss demon quickly caught on and grabbed the remaining survivor. He headed for the window and with one last scathing look at Sam, ran for his life, third degree burns covering his body.

Dean shut the water off and dropped the hose, looking immensely pleased with himself.

"Cutting it a bit close there, Dean," Sam said.

"Yeah but I came to the rescue didn't I?"

"Yeah. How'd you come up with the fire hose idea? Genius."

Dean shrugged with a cocky grin on his face. "What can I say? I'm a genius."

Ruby crawled out from under the bed, keeping to the dry spots. Burns were splattered across her face and arms, but she seemed marginally unhurt.

"Yeah, genius. Spray holy water into the room with your demon ally," she muttered sarcastically.

"Technically this is Sam and my room. What are you doing here anyway?"

This was met with and awkward silence.

"I… heard something. In Sam's room. So I came over to check it out and couldn't get to the knife in time."

"Huh," Dean said, accepting the lie. "Fat lot of good you are." He turned to survey the water damage.

Sam mouthed _Thank you_ at Ruby once his back was turned.

_You owe me_, she mouthed back.

"Let's get out of here," Dean suggested, not noticing their exchange. "Before maid service notices the damage."

XXX

Sam was passed out in the back, so there was only an awkward silence in the front of the Impala as Ruby refused to look at Dean while he drove.

Normally Dean would be fine with this, but the awkwardness of the moment was getting to him. He reached over and turned the cassette player. The opening riff of _Enter Sandman_ burst into the car at full volume.

Miraculously, Sam slept through it, while Ruby jumped out of her skin, still looking on edge like a spooked cat.

"I hate Metallica," she announced, glaring at Dean.

"It's a classic. How can you hate this song?"

"You haven't been around as long as I have. You don't know classic."

"Oh yeah? What's classic for you?"

"Let's just say I was around when Mozart was hot stuff."

Dean gave her a sideways glance with a smirk. "Did you fling your bra on stage?"

"My garter, actually," she said with a straight face.

Dean snorted once. "Always knew you were a whore, even in the innocent old days."

"Demon," she reminded him. "Whore comes with the job description. Besides, you're hardly one to talk."

"Touché."

Ruby grinned at him. "At least we have Sam to keep us honest."

Dean's eyes flicked to the rearview mirror to look at the backseat where his brother was dead to the world. He looked so young when he was sleeping, his giant body in a cramped position. Yet his face was content.

Dean then looked at the face of the demon seated next to him, whose eyes were on his brother. He tried to identify the look in her eyes, but it was impossible while still maintaining his lane position.

The moment was gone when he looked back at her and she was back to glaring at the sound system.

"Is that even considered singing?"

Dean just began to belt out the lyrics.

If you can't convert them, annoy the living fuck outta them.

XXX

Sam was still asleep when they pulled into the motel, and there was no way Dean was carrying his moose of a brother inside, even with Ruby's help, so he attempted to wake him up.

Blinking blearily up at him, Sam gave him a glazed look. "How long was I out?"

"Since the beginning of the day, Van Winkle."

"I must have been exhausted."

"Yeah taking on a demon must really take it out of you."

"They're insatiable."

"Ain't that the truth."

"Where are we?"

"Salt Lake City. It's next on our itinerary."

"Oh, okay." He made no move to get up.

"Sam, you've gotta move. I'm not carrying your sorry ass in there."

Sam groaned and sat up. "I'm tired though."

"I noticed. Time to rise and shine."

"It's dark out. What time is it?"

"Four in the morning. Are you getting up or would you rather sleep in the cramped back seat than a comfortable bed?"

Sam crawled out of the car, groaning and complaining the whole way to the room.

XXX

"An angel?"

"That's what he said."

"Have you even thought that maybe he was telling the truth?"

Dean looked at his brother incredulously. "Are you serious?"

"Well, why not? There's a ton of lore about angels and we've found that most stories tend to be true, so why not?"

"Because he was a dick. Angels are supposed to be good right?"

"Well, yes, but…"

"End of discussion Sam. We don't need his help and he can't tell us what to do."

"What did he tell you to do anyway?"

"He said to stop you using your psychic mojo."

Sam snorted. "Don't have to worry about me there. It nearly killed me. I'm not doing that again any time soon."

Dean looked a little relieved. "Good. I don't need to be worrying about you twenty-four seven."

"So, where did Ruby go?"

Dean shrugged. "Off on nefarious demon business no doubt."

"Meaning getting us a job?"

"Probably. What else does she do?"

XXX

"I was so _close_. And then those pests had to go and mess it up."

"I know," Crowley said with what was supposed to be comforting hand on her shoulder. "You still have time, and you made good progress. But I am getting a little impatient. Talk to him before the fight today."

"So soon?"

"Yes. Tonight."

"How am I supposed to convince him?"

"You're job, not mine." And in the blink of an eye he was gone again.

XXX

"Yes I know what we promised you, but there's no way Sam is fighting a demon again tonight."

"You said that he would. This isn't some backwater town, this is a decent sized city and the crowds tonight are going to want something big. Something worthy of the Winchester name. He's fighting the demon," insisted the owner of the Salt Lake City arena. He was short, fat and sat behind a wooden table riddled with cigarette burns that served as his desk.

Ruby stood her ground. "You're going to have to find someone else to fight it. Sam can take the vampire earlier in the evening."

"No, we already have someone to fight the vampire. We need your boy to take the demon."

"Can't Dean do it at least? Sam's still recovering."

The owner was adamant. "We want Dean to do another shifter."

"Why? You know he can take it."

"The audience loves the heartbreaking moment when he has to kill his own brother. They _love _it. It really brings in the crowds."

"Sam can kill his brother, let Dean fight the demon."

"It's not the same. Sam doesn't have the same protective feelings toward Dean as Dean does toward him."

"How are you an expert on their relationship?"

"Everyone knows. It's obvious how much they both care about each other. Plus, I'm an older sibling. I get his mentality."

"Shifter fights are always popular no matter who's fighting, so it doesn't matter."

"I'm sorry doll, but it's going to have to be Dean. Sam's stuck in that fight."

Ruby kicked the vending machine out of anger on her way out of the decaying office building in the industrial part of town. It made a pathetic clunking sound and produced a lukewarm bottle of coke.

Hoping her day may have just gotten a little better, Ruby checked the expiration date. She grimaced and threw it out. She should've known it was much too old by the fact that the bottle was glass.

XXX

"Sam is _not_ fighting another demon."

"You don't think I tried to convince him?"

"Okay fine then, we're leaving town."

"No way Dean, you skip out on a fight and your name is blackened for the rest of your life. You think those demons back in Cheyenne were bad? Think every single monster out there, on your tail, and no more fights. Ever. You'd be so screwed over you'd never walk straight again. _There isn't another way_."

"So you'd rather keep making the moolah than keep Sam from dying?"

"I tried, okay? I really did, but Sam is just going to have to take this fight."

"He _can't_. I don't know if you're getting this, but he _can't_."

"You don't know that. He's surprised us before."

"I can't take that chance."

"Dean, there's a way I can help Sam…"

"I don't want to hear it Ruby. We're leaving."

"We are?"

Ruby and Dean turned to face a tired looking Sam, with sleep rumpled hair. "Thought we had a fight tonight?"

"Yes," Ruby answered just as Dean said. "No."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "O…Kay then. Anyone care to explain?"

"We're leaving," Dean said. "Because you can't fight another demon."

"We can't leave," Ruby argued.

"Do I get a say in this?" Sam asked.

"No," both Ruby and Dean answered.

"Guys, I'll take the fight."

"No you won't. Not like that."

"Dean, I'm fine, really. Just a little tired. But we've got a whole day before we need to be there. I get it. We can't skip town unless we want to be chased forever."

"What? So you'd rather be dead?"

"I didn't say that," he looked to Ruby. "I'm going to need your help."

**Author's Note: **Just thought that I should warn you way in advance, some time in the far future, this story is going to take a turn for the dark side. But hey, it'll be a while, in the mean time, enjoy the ride.

_Next time…_

_ "Tell me the truth. How screwed am I?"_

_ "Very."_


	5. Chapter 5

_Previously…_

_ "Guys, I'll take the fight." He looked to Ruby. "I'm going to need your help."_

"Have I mentioned how much I hate this plan?"

"Many times Dean."

"So why in hell aren't you listening to me?"

"Because this is the only way."

"No it's not. We could still leave."

"Do you _want_ to run for the rest of your life?"

"No, but we could take them."

"Let me get this straight. You don't want me fighting this demon?"

"I really don't."

"But instead you'd rather have me fight the hundreds that will come after us if I don't do this?"

Dean opened his mouth to argue, but closed it again. He tried a different tactic. "Please don't do this Sam. You have no idea what it will do to you."

"Just because some so-called angel told you?"

"He said it could blacken your soul, Sammy. That is not something I want to risk."

"I'll survive, Dean."

"Just because some _demon_ told you?"

"I'm not asking you to trust her…"

"Oh yes you are, you're asking me to trust her with your life."

"It's my life Dean."

"Don't throw it away."

"I'm not. It won't kill me."

"You don't know that."

"Come on Dean. Have a little faith."

XXX

"We really don't have the time to do this, do we?"

"Of course we do," Ruby said, avoiding his eyes. "You just need to try again. And practice. You'll get better very quickly."

"Look at me Ruby," he said, grabbing her chin forcing her to look him in the eyes. "Tell me the truth. How screwed am I?"

"Very," she said. "There is another way to do this, but I think it's too risky. Talk about damaging your soul."

"Tell me."

"No. It's too dangerous."

"Ruby. I'm about to risk my life out there. If you have an alternative then tell me." His face was so close to hers their noses were almost touching. "Just, tell me," he whispered, moving his hand from her chin to cup her jaw.

"You're not going to like it," she said, relenting a little bit.

"Whatever I need to do."

"It's risky, and a little gross too."

"I'll do it. Whatever it is."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I don't want you and Dean to have to run."

"You could die," she reminded him.

"Not if you tell me what you're avoiding telling me."

"If you do this, there could be no going back. Are you willing to accept that?"

"Yes."

Ruby sighed. "Demon blood."

Sam quirked his eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. It's powerful. Once you get it into your bloodstream, you feel like you can take on the world. It's how Yelloweyes gave you you're powers. It effected you so much because you were so young. Now, if you drink it, you can control your powers and it will make you stronger.

"Demon blood?" Sam asked, still a little in shock.

"Yes."

"And that's bad for me?"

"Extremely."

"I'll do it."

"Are you sure?"

"I could die out there, of course I'm sure."

"Alright then."

"Just," he grabbed her arm as she turned to go. "Don't tell Dean. He's upset enough as it is."

"He will find out you know."

"I know, just… not now. For now, let's just survive."

XXX

"So," Sam started awkwardly. "How do you want to do this?"

Ruby sat down on the edge of her bed and crossed her legs. "On your knees," she said, gesturing to the foot of the bed.

Sam raised his eyebrows at her choice of words, but obeyed.

"Not too much," she reminded him. "Could turn out badly."

He nodded.

"You're still sure about this?"

"Let's do it before I change my mind."

Ruby pulled a knife out of her belt and made a small cut on her forearm, just below her elbow. She held her arm out to Sam, holding steady eye-contact the whole time.

Hesitantly, Sam took her arm with both his hands, looking to her for reassurance. She nodded encouragingly.

With a horrible sort of fascination, Sam watched the crimson liquid dribble down the pale skin of her arm. Experimentally, he placed the tip of his tongue to intercept the red trail. It hit his tongue and he slowly trailed his mouth up to the cut, clearing the blood away. He closed his mouth and swallowed. So far nothing.

"Keep going," Ruby urged, wrapping his silky hair around her fingers.

Guided by her hand at the back of his head, Sam put his lips to her cut again. The blood began to flow freely when he brushed his tongue along the cut, opening it wider. Ruby gasped and nearly jerked her arm away, but by now, Sam sucking and pressing closer, pushing her against the bed.

Her fingers tightened in his hair and she pulled his head back slightly. "That's enough Sam."

His tongue darted out and licked the remaining blood from around his mouth. He was almost on top of her.

"Not too bad?" She asked him.

In answer he ran his tongue up her neck, grazing his teeth over where her pulse jumped erratically.

"I'm thinking that was a no."

Ignoring her comment, he climbed the rest of the way onto the bed, pushing her down. She spread her legs automatically and he ground his hips down, rubbing his already unbearably hard erection against her.

She moaned audibly. "Didn't know you had a blood kink Sam," she said breathlessly.

"I don't."

"Don't go denying it Sam. You're talking to the demon in the room. I have just about every kink in existence. Blood, torture, bondage, you name it."

"Doesn't make it any less messed up."

"You like it."

He shut her up effectively with rough lips against hers. She arched up against him and ground his bottom lip between her teeth, eliciting a soft growl from him. His hands slid up her shirt and ran up her sides, pulling the soft fabric over her head. Their lips parted for a second only to meet again, more heated this time as her hands flew to make short work of the buttons down his front. She pushed the shirt over his shoulders and paused a moment to allow her fingertips to revel in the hard curves and grooves cut into his chest from a lifetime of hunting.

"You done?" He asked, hovering over her, giving her a slight smirk.

"Hardly."

She brought his head down forcefully to meet hers and paused just before their lips brushed. They touched lightly and Sam brought his mouth down with feather-light kisses until he reached her hardened nipple, which he sucked into his mouth, with a slight gasp from Ruby, brought it between his teeth and rolled it gently. A muffled moan escaped her as she bit down hard on her bottom lip and her hips bucked erratically against his.

"Godamnit," she muttered. "NOW Sam."

He obliged, lifting his hips long enough to fumble with both their pants until they were discarded to the floor. He noted her distinct lack of underwear and raised an eyebrow at her.

"What? It's comfortable."

He gave her a disbelieving look, but she ignored it and flipped them around so she was pushing him into the bed. She peeled off his boxers in one fluid moment and hovered just above him teasingly. His back arched up as one of her silky thighs brushed against his throbbing shaft. She covered his mouth with her hand before he could moan and shushed him.

"Torture kink, Sam. This is just the beginning." She ran her tongue down his earlobe before continuing huskily into his ear. "I'm going to start off slow. So slow you'll beg me to go just the tiniest bit faster, but if you even so much as move, I will stop altogether. Do you understand?"

He nodded.

"Good."

With her free hand, she loosely pinned his hands above his head so he was stretched out promisingly below her. Slowly, just as she had promised, she slid onto him. He moaned loudly, but she shushed him like she would a child.

"Quiet now."

She lifted her hips until he was almost completely out of her, then ever so slowly back onto him. He writhed, trying to control his body and she stopped, with only his tip inside her and waited. He glared up at her with hazy lust-filled eyes, conveying exactly what she wanted to see.

"You're mine, Sam," she murmured in his ear as she slid down him again.

She continued this tortuous pace, with Sam uncontrollably thrusting every once in a while, only to have her stop, pull off of him, leaving him harder than ever before.

She began to pick up the pace a little bit more, riding him at a comfortable pace. Sam, unable to hold on any longer, began to return her thrusts in an even rhythm. She allowed him to as the speed built.

Tired of her taking control, Sam sat up, turned around and then began longer, deeper, harder thrusts into her. Ruby gasped as he slammed her back against the bed post. Each of his thrusts seemed to go deeper than the last and fucked her against the headboard again and again, harder each time until she was sure they were denting the wall behind them. She wrapped her legs around him, bringing him closer as she moved with him, crashing against him as he slammed into her. A warm sensation was beginning to form in her lower stomach and she clenched her legs around his waist, curling her toes as it became more and more intense.

He could feel her building. She tightened around him and she called out his name as her orgasm nearly blinded her with its intensity.

Following soon after her with a loud groan, Sam slumped to the side, pulling out of her and lay across the bed sideways. Ruby slid down the headboard bonelessly so she was lying perpendicular to him, legs sprawled across his chest.

"Well," she said, desperately trying to catch her breath. "That was…"

"Yeah," Sam said, also out of breath.

"If that was all it took to get you into bed, I should have given you blood ages ago."

Sam rolled his eyes and turned to look at the clock sitting on the bedside table. "We should go. Dean's probably waiting for us at the bar."

"I'll get back to you on that once I can move."

He gave a conciliatory nod.

"And we should get dressed."

Groaning slightly, Sam sat up, moving Ruby's legs off his chest, and began to pull his clothes back on.

Reluctantly, Ruby followed suit.

XXX

By the time they showed up at the bar Dean was convinced he had developed a nervous twitch. He'd also convinced himself that drinking was the only way to control it.

"Sammy," he called out drunkenly. "How'd it go?"

"My God," Sam said, supporting Dean as he lurched toward him. "How much did you give him?" He said accusingly to the bartender.

She shrugged. "He seemed nervous. I thought he could handle it."

"Dean," Sam said, slapping him lightly across the chest. "I don't want to have to worry about you now."

"I'm not worried about me, Sam. I'm still worried about you. You slept all day and now you have to fight a demon. I had to calm my nervous twitch."

"Dean, you don't have a nervous twitch."

"That's 'cause I drank it away."

"Dean, you need to sober up, you're fighting a shifter in less than an hour."

"I can hold my liquor Sam. But you… have to fight a demon."

"Don't worry about me. I can take care of it."

"You better sober him up a bit," Ruby suggested.

"Yeah, I'll do that," Sam said, hauling his brother off to the bathroom.

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the somewhat shorter chapter, but hey, you finally got the mediocre sex scene you've all been waiting for. Yeah, they're not exactly my forte. I hope you enjoyed it. Love to all my reviewers etc. Also, it's that time of year again... that's right... Finals! So I'm sorry if updates take longer. I'm extremely busy.

_Next time…_

_ If he was caught, he put all of their lives on the line._


	6. Chapter 6

_Previously…_

_Dean shook his head. "Never seen you before."_

"_I wasn't in this body, but I thought you might recognize me."_

_And…_

"_Dean, you need to sober up, you're fighting a shifter in less than an hour."_

Sam splashed another handful of cold water across Dean's face in an attempt to wake him up.

"This isn't going to work."

_Come on Dean,_ Sam thought. _Fighting a shifter here._ And that's when the idea struck him.

"Dean, I need you to stay here," Sam said, shoving him into a bathroom stall and closing it behind him.

"Alright Sam. How do you lock this thing?"

"Turn the knob."

Dean chuckled slowly. "Knob."

Sam rolled his eyes and went to find Ruby.

XXX

"You do realize that this is possibly the stupidest plan you've ever had, and you're Sam Winchester, king of stupid plans."

"I know. But he is far too drunk to walk, let alone fight."

"If we get caught, we are royally screwed."

"I know, just… let me try."

"Fine. I will kill you and your brother if you get caught."

"It's a shifter. No one will ever know."

XXX

Dean was humming _Black Dog_ tunelessly to himself. It entertained him endlessly how well the bathroom echoed.

There was a slight flutter of wings and suddenly there was someone else in the close confines of the bathroom stall.

"Whoa there," Dean said and fell over the toilet backwards.

"Are you always intoxicated?"

"I'm not. You just have impeccable timing Cattyhell."

"Castiel."

"Sassytell?"

"Cas—Oh never mind. I came to tell you about your brother."

"I know. He's fighting a demon soon and there's nothing I can do about it because I'm locked in here."

"I'm afraid Sam may have made the right decision locking you in here. Although you could easily unlock it yourself."

"Are you kidding? I couldn't even lock it myself."

"Now may not have been the most opportune moment for my arrival."

"No, you look here Sassy-As-Hell," Dean said, standing up from where he'd fallen over the toilet and nearly falling over onto Cas. "This is perfect. You can just zap me and my brother out of here, gank that Ruby bitch and then…."

"As much as that plan appeals to me, I feel your brother would not approve."

"He's a Sammy-kid. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Dean, what I've been trying to say is…"

Dean's legs finally gave out and he fell forward, catching himself by the lapels of Castiel's trench coat, and pushing him backward.

They were now pressed together with Dean's weight, foreheads almost touching.

Cas looked up at him passively. "What are you doing?"

"…Fell."

"You could get off now."

"Yeah, I should."

He made no move to do so.

"I don't think I can."

Castiel raised an eyebrow. "No wonder Sam locked you in here."

Dean stared at his blue eyes in confused drunkenness. "I know you."

"Yes, you met my vessel a few nights ago."

"No, I mean _you_."

"I do not understand."

"I see _you_. Whoever's in there. I recognize you."

"I thought you might. You didn't before. Maybe you can only see me when you're highly intoxicated."

"Those eyes. Where do I know you from?"

"Before now."

"Yeah, thanks Captain Obvious. When?"

"I think it would be better if you could remember yourself."

"I can't. I can barely remember how you got here," Dean said fuzzily.

"I know," Cas said, and lightly touched Dean on the forehead.

XXX

_"Help me," she was begging. Blood was seeping from between her fingertips which were clutched to her stomach._

_ "Oh god," Dean said, trying to staunch it with his shirt. _

_ She looked up at him seriously with intensely blue eyes. "Don't blame Him."_

_ "I'm not, it's just a phrase. Look, I can't stop this bleeding."_

_ She attempted to stand, stumbling a little. "I'll be fine."_

_ "No you definitely won't."_

_ She grabbed the back of his neck for support. "I just need a… recharge."_

_ The casual phrase sounded awkward coming out of her mouth._

_ "Anything I can get you."_

_ "You don't know what you're signing up for."_

_ "If it will help you."_

_ "You only just met me."_

_ "I help people."_

_ "I'm not exactly 'people'."_

_ Dean took a step back_

_ "Relax, I am not a demon. Or a witch. Just…not human."_

_ "Well, you still need my help. And I'm willing to give it to you."_

_ "I'll need part of your soul."_

_ Dean was taken aback. "How do you plan to do that?"_

_ "Just… hold still," her hand tightened at the back of his neck, and he became hyper-aware of their proximity. "You are still consenting?"_

_ Dean nodded, unable to look away from the deep, somber eyes._

_ "Close your eyes," she suggested. "Things are going to get bright."_

_ He obeyed._

_ She pulled him in closer for a chaste kiss. Her lips felt electric and made him dizzy and his lungs ache for air, almost as if he had suddenly risen a few thousand feet in altitude._

_ Her mouth opened and he followed suit. Something shifted inside of him and wrenched away painfully. It glided gently up his throat trickled between his teeth into her mouth. The flash of light that followed left a purple after image behind his closed eyelids._

_ Her mouth left his. He felt exhilarated and in that instant felt as if he could take on every monster in the world. His eyes flew open, locked with the blue pair staring intently into his, and promptly passed out._

XXX

Sam wiped his sweaty palms across his jeans. He'd promised Ruby that this would work, but he could hardly promise that.

If he was caught, he put all of their lives on the line.

But he couldn't let Dean fight like that. He'd die.

He stepped into the arena. The shifter was already there, in the guise of his brother, smirking just like Dean would.

"Get ready for Dean Winchester, the infamous ex-hunter, to battle the sneaky shifter."

The shifter barely even glanced at the announcer in confusion, already caught up in the blood lust rolling off the crowd.

Sam gripped the silver knife harder and prayed to an absent God.

XXX

Dean woke up on the cold tile of the disgusting bathroom floor.

He rolled onto his stomach. Pushing himself up he was unable to ignore how hard just the memory had left him. Awkwardly, he stood up and nearly fell backward as he turned to find a face right in his. "Dude. Personal space."

Castiel stepped back, which wasn't very far in the cramped bathroom stall. "So, you do remember me."

"That was you?"

"Yes."

"You were one hot chick."

"Thank you? Is that a typical compliment?"

"You tell me, humans aren't so prone to body-hopping."

"I have never been called a hot chick before."

Dean grinned at him. "Glad to be the first."

Castiel nodded, not once cracking a smile.

"Let me get this straight," Dean said. He was quickly sobering, probably a side effect of the Angel digging around in his brain. Coming with the sobriety was a massive headache. "You own part of my soul?"

"Not exactly. We do now share a bond, but your soul is intact."

"Well that's a comfort." A sudden thought struck him. "Sam!"

"Your brother is currently fighting your fight."

"He can't do that. What if he gets caught?"

"Dean, you are in no condition to fight. Besides it is too late. They have begun."

"Well I can't just stay here."

"I know," Cas said, and held out his hand to Dean's forehead again.

"Oh no you don't," Dean said, trying to evade his hand, but it was impossible in the confines of the stall and Cas lightly touched his temple, leaving him to collapse on the floor. Again.

XXX

Sam spun away from the slashing knife, just barely avoiding the otherwise-fatal blow.

He could feel the demon blood sweating out of his bloodstream as his heart pounded. He was becoming weaker, and there was no way he was going to be able to fight a demon after this.

ShifterDean came at him again and Sam gripped the handle of the silver knife tightly, standing in a defensive position.

The cocky smirk that graced the shifter's face threw Sam off. He hated doing this. Killing his brother got harder every time.

He jabbed forward with the knife, making contact with the shifters stomach. The shifter stopped dead and looked incredulously down at where the handle protruded. Blood began to bubble out of its mouth and it lurched forward toward Sam. He grabbed his knife, letting it slide out of the creature as is crashed to the floor. With a grim look, Sam exited to the blood curdling cheers of the crowd, who now believed Dean Winchester to be dead.

XXX

The scene was looking terribly familiar.

Sam was pinned to the ground, sans knife, by a demon five times more powerful than him.

The source of energy that had seemed to open so freely in this last situation would not open for him though.

So, he was fucked five ways from Sunday.

He struggled pointlessly, trying to find control over the power. He could _feel_ it underneath a thin membrane in his mind, but it was like his fingers were slipping over the membrane, unable to penetrate it.

The crowd of course thought they would see the death of a second Winchester in one night. The demon, in the guise of what must have been a respectable accountant, chuckled at him. "Not so juiced now, are we?"

Sam spat in his eye. "It's under control."

The demon laughed.

And Sam had it. The thin wall burst and the flood of energy rushed through him sending shivers of it down his body. The demon must have noticed, because his grip was slackening.

Sam sat up. Now looking panicked, the demon was scrambling to his feet and beginning to back away.

"Not so juiced now, are we?" Sam mimicked and let the wave loose.

The demon threw his head back in the scream of inevitable death. With a crackle of electricity and a loud pop, the demon faded out of his eyes, and the unfortunate host collapsed to the ground.

Sam rushed over and held his head while searching for a pulse. When he found none his heart sank.

Couldn't even save the host.

XXX

Dean woke in his motel room, still fully clothed and over the covers.

With what he was sure was the world's worst headache.

He fumbled in the bedside drawer for a bottle of aspirin he was sure he'd put there the night before. His numb fingers couldn't find it.

"You won't have need of that."

Dean fell off the bed.

"Damnit Cas!"

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Dean said from the floor, trying to find the strength to get up. "Just, try knocking."

"Why? I was already in the room."

"Just… never mind. Do you have my aspirin?"

"No."

"God damnit."

"I hope this teaches you a lesson. Then maybe next time we meet you won't be so inebriated."

"Have a little mercy," Dean almost whimpered.

"Of course." Cas touched his forehead for the third time.

_Oh God,_ Dean thought. _Not again._

But instead of passing out or reliving some memory, his headache disappeared.

"You are officially now my favorite drinking buddy. I would not mind having you around most mornings."

They were silent as the double meaning sunk in.

Dean coughed. "Where's Sam?"

"Should be here any second."

"So he's alright?"

"Physically."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Cas turned to him, looking the part of the perfect avenging angel. "I warned you about his powers. I could feel that last one from the other side of town. If he continues, there will soon be no turning back."

"I'm not a huge fan and all, but we didn't have a choice."

"If he continues, then _I _won't have a choice."

Before Dean could spew the angry words he wanted to, Cas had disappeared.

"Son of a bitch."

**Author's Note:** Wow. Absolutely no reviews on last chapter. Barely any activity at all. Was it really that bad, guys? Never mind. It was necessary for the story so thank you for suffering through it! So, to picture a female Cas, think Zooey Deschanel (it's the eyes). Thank you for reading and to my lovely alerts/favorites/reviews. All are very much appreciated. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And I'm so sorry it took so long. i have had literally no free time in over a week. I'm losing my mind.

_Next time…_

"_Sam, it's killing you. You _need _more blood."_

"_I don't need anything from you."_


	7. Chapter 7

_Previously…_

"_If you do this, there could be no going back. Are you willing to accept that?"_

_ "Yes."_

_One week later_

"Sam."

"Yeah?"

"Are you… Okay?"

"'M fine. Why do you ask?"

"Dude, you've lost like ten pounds in a week."

Sam shrugged. "I haven't been hungry."

"No dude. This is not normal. I mean, you usually eat like a girl but lately it's been borderline anorexic." He gave Sam a sidelong glance, while still keeping his eyes on the road. "You're not anorexic, are you?"

"What? No!"

"Hey, I'm just worried about you."

"Well you shouldn't be. I'm fine."

"As fascinating as this conversation has been," Ruby cut in from the back seat. "Do you think you could save your private family talks for when I'm _not_ in the car?"

"Shut up," Dean said. "I'm starving. You want to make a pie stop?"

"Sounds good," Sam said.

"Please," Ruby said. "I need something terrible for me right now."

"Pie is good for the soul," Dean said sagely.

"Just watch your hips," Sam said with the first genuine grin that Dean had seen on his face in a long time.

"You're just jealous of my curves," Dean said with a superior air.

XXX

The diner was small and dingy, but the food was fantastic.

Dean was practically molesting the cherry pie, judging by the sounds of ecstasy he was making, and Ruby was killing off a plate of fries. Sam picked at his own slice of apple pie and attempted to eat it for Dean's sake.

"Anything else I can get you?" The waitress asked. She wore far too much makeup and her fake-blond hair was tossed up in a messy bun.

"Another coffee," Dean said with a wink. "Got a long night of driving ahead of me."

She smiled thinly and filled his cup.

Dean took a sip and once she was gone shook his head disappointedly. "Watery. It'll take gallons of this to wake me up. I'm going to hit the café next door. Call if anything evil shows up."

He slid out of the booth and exited the diner, leaving Ruby and Sam across from each other in an awkward silence.

"Sam, I know what you told your brother is bullshit."

"So you think I'm anorexic too?"

"No, I think you're fighting something."

Sam absently grabbed one of her fries. "Come on, did you have to smear ketchup over all of it? I hate ketchup."

"Stop avoiding the point."

"I'm really fine. I'm good. See I'm eating, I've been fighting. I'm… functioning," he finally admitted.

"I told you there might be no going back."

"I've held out for a week. Made it past those first three days. I can survive."

"Sam, it's killing you. You _need _more blood."

"I don't need anything from you."

"Fine. Just… don't let it go too long. You can't go on much longer like this."

"This is so much better," Dean said, sitting next to Sam again, holding the Styrofoam cup like it was gold. "These are professionals."

Sam took another bite of his pie, simply to look like he was doing something.

"Where's our next gig?" Dean asked.

"Southernmost point in the country," Ruby said, scraping her fry against the bottom of the plate for more salt.

"Texas?" Dean asked.

"Key west," Sam corrected. "But aren't they all old and leathery down there?"

"Surprising amount of business in retirees. All angry and living vicariously through young'uns," Ruby clarified.

"When do we have to be there?" Sam asked.

"Three days."

"Should only take two to get there," Dean commented. "Time for sight-seeing?"

Sam sighed. "Dean, for you sight-seeing is checking out the inside of local bars, hooking up with local girls and eating the fast food."

Dean grinned at him. "When in Rome. Besides, Key West has the best pies." He raised his eyebrows. "The key lime is to die for."

XXX

They were crashed at a motel along the interstate somewhere in the middle of South Carolina. More specifically, Sam was crashed. Kind of. If by crashed, you mean tossing and turning and waking up every fifteen minutes. But comparatively, he was in a deep sleep.

In the next room over, Ruby was contemplating the wall paper. She did that a lot, considering demons don't need to sleep and the Winchesters required and annoying amount of it.

Dean was sitting in the corner, watching some terrible late night soap opera and drinking straight from the whisky bottle. He was afraid he was getting too drunk when he almost cried when Miguel left Casey.

"She loves you so much you stupid son of a bitch," he muttered angrily to the TV. "And you're _meant to be_."

It hit him that he could probably be watching porn right now. It would be less embarrassing if Sam woke up to find _Casa Erotica_ on the screen instead of _Passions_.

But he needed someone with more problems than him, and the sobbing woman on the screen definitely had more problems than him.

"That's right bitch, you better cry," he said vindictively and took another swig from the bottle, now mostly empty.

And he said Sam had problems.

XXX

"Hello sweetheart, miss me?"

"Eat me."

"Sorry love, don't swing that way."

"What do you want this time Crowley?"

"You think I want to be here? As much I love your dulcet tones Ruby, I'm a busy man and I may have to put someone new on the job since you seem to be failing miserably."

"I'm not. I had him in my hands, and he got out. He's slipping though. He'll be begging me soon enough."

"I hate to keep bothering you, but you need to do your job and fast."

"I'm working on it."

"You better be. Oh and one more thing, before I go," he paused dramatically. "There's an angel on the case, bent on saving Sam Winchester's soul."

Ruby's head snapped up in shock. "Hold on Crowley. I didn't sign up for this. Dealing with hunters is one thing, they're human and can be manipulated, but _angels_? They smite first, ask questions later. If he so much as sees me close to the Winchesters, I'm royally fucked."

"Hm, yes I suppose you are," Crowley said, mock pensively. "Better not let him see you then."

And he disappeared.

"Great, just great. Fucking angels."

XXX

"This may be a new low," a gravelly voice announced from behind Dean.

"Stuff it angel boy. I had a rough day."

"I know. You were praying to me."

"What? I was not."

"Subconsciously. You wanted my help."

"I think there's a difference between help and your help."

"What do you need, Dean? I'm here to help."

"I need another bottle, maybe two and a disc of _Casa Erotica_."

"What do you really need?"

"Nothing. I'm coping on my own."

"Yes, because drinking copious amounts of alcohol and watching bad TV is really coping."

Dean looked at him in confusion.

"That was supposed to be 'sarcasm'."

"I am coping. Go do… whatever it is angels do at three in the morning."

"My job is to help you."

"What, like my guardian angel?"

"If that is how you would like to describe it."

"Well, I don't need any guardianing." Dean turned to watch the TV again.

"Dean something is clearly bothering you. Tell me."

"No offense, but so far all you've done is knocked me out and absorbed part of my soul."

"I did that to help you."

"Keep telling yourself that, 'cause I'm not listening."

"Is it Sam?"

"What makes you say that?" Dean asked defensively.

"He would be the main reason you would drink yourself into oblivion."

"Does everyone know how my mind works?"

"I know you."

"Alright, fine. It is Sam. He's been acting… weird."

"How so?"

"Like he hasn't been eating. And he's stressed, I can tell. Look at how he's sleeping. I'm impressed that he's sleeping at all. He's becoming erratic and his fighting is sloppy. And he says he's fine."

"Have you tried talking to him?"

Dean snorted. "Not exactly my strong suit." He tilted the bottle against his lips only to find it empty. He set it on the floor, glaring at it as if it was the bottle's fault that it was now empty.

"He hasn't been using his powers?"

"Not since Salt Lake."

"Maybe that's the problem."

"But you said he shouldn't."

"And I still say so."

"You are so… confusing."

"I just want to help."

"I just want to forget. Just for a while. Not to have to worry about my brother for five minutes."

"I could help you, but I doubt you would like the solution."

"How could you help me?"

"I could literally make you forget everything."

"No good."

"Alternate universe?"

Dean paused. "What kind of alternate universe?"

Castiel cocked his head to the side. "One where the supernatural is all just a myth?"

"Tempting but no go."

"Then I doubt I could help you."

They heard a groan from Sam's bed and turned to find him awake.

"Dean," he started tiredly. "I'm going for a walk."

"Dude, it's three a.m."

"I need time to clear my head," Sam answered, running a hand through his unruly hair.

Dean nodded in understanding.

Sam's eyes passed over Cas. "You are?"

"Castiel, angel of the lord."

"Oh." Sam blinked slowly and turned to leave.

Cas looked after him, confused. "He took that well."

"He's just tired. I wish he would just tell me what was wrong."

XXX

Sam pushed into the hallway and closed the door behind him.

He turned and saw the last person he wanted to at the moment. Quickly he turned around and put his hand back on the knob.

"Hey, Sam."

Sam considered pretending to not have heard her, but it was too late.

"Ruby."

"Why are you up? It's three in the morning."

"I needed time to think."

She stood there awkwardly, her hands in her back pockets. "We need to talk."

"Oh yeah?"

"It was a good fuck."

Sam raised his eyebrows at her crudeness. "Wow Ruby, don't hold back, tell me how you really feel."

"I'd go so far as to say it was fantastic. It was so great, in fact, that you've been avoiding me ever since."

"Have not," Sam mumbled. "We talk all the time."

"About business, and with Dean in the room."

"What do you want me to do?" He asked exasperatedly.

"I want you to admit what you want."

"I don't want anything." He began walking down the hall.

"That's bullshit, Sam!" She called after him. "And you know it."

Sam paused and turned to face her. "You're right. It was great, but I was a little high at the time, in case you didn't notice. It was a one time thing. It's not going to happen again." He turned and continued walking.

Ruby smirked and leaned against the wall. "We'll see," she muttered to herself.

XXX

"Something is eating at him," Dean said, rummaging through his things for another bottle. He didn't find one, so he settled back against the headboard. "He won't talk to me, hell I wish he would even talk to Ruby, just so long as it was someone. But no, he has to be Sam fucking Winchester and play everything so close to the chest. I mean, I know I'm hardly one to talk, but at least I know that I can talk to him if I need something."

Cas just stood there and listened stoically.

"What if something is really wrong? What if his visions are coming back? What if he's becoming a mindless killing machine while I'm not looking?"

"The probability of that is slim," Cas put in.

"Yeah, but what if? I'd never know, 'cause he wouldn't tell me a damn thing."

"Perhaps he will tell you when he is ready."

"I hope so, because I don't know how much longer I can take this stuff." He squinted at Cas. "You got sibling problems?"

He nodded gravely. "More than I can count."

"Of course, your brother's the devil." Dean snorted as if he found that entertaining.

"All I'm trying to say is that I understand," Cas sat down next to him on the bed. "You are worried about your brother. We all were worried about Lucifer."

Dean spluttered. "You're comparing my brother to Satan?"

Cas blinked. "Indirectly."

"Sam isn't bad. He's had a lot of things happen to him, but that doesn't make him a bad person."

"No it doesn't," Castiel agreed in complete seriousness. "Anyone is capable of redemption."

The intensity of that statement drew them together until their faces were barely millimeters apart.

Simply going by instinct, Dean leaned the tiniest bit forward and brushed lips lightly against Castiel's. Just like he remembered from the last time their lips had touched, he could almost feel the electricity of a thunderstorm pass through him. Tentatively, he leaned a little closer, until their lips were firmly pressed together. Cas still hadn't moved, but he wasn't moving away. Taking that as slight encouragement, Dean began to move slowly, cupping his hand behind Cas's head fingers wrapping in his thick, dark hair. Suddenly, the angel responded to Dean's movements and his lips parted and allowed Dean access to his mouth. The feeling was almost like soaring as their tongues met gently. It was the closest Dean had ever had to a religious experience.

They pulled back momentarily, and Dean looked into the intense eyes that seemed to blur out the rest of the face while they focused sharply on him. Their pupils were dilated in the semi-darkness and with the tingling feeling still running through their veins.

"Whoa," Dean said, and passed out.

Cas looked down at him. "Is it customary to pass out?" He wondered out loud. "Because you've done it twice now." He touched his lips lightly. "Interesting," he muttered and disappeared, with barely a backwards glance at the unconscious Dean lying on the bed.

XXX

Sam had been walking through the muggy, bug filled night and had made his way back to the motel. Walking down the hall, he hesitated in front of Ruby's door and stood there for a full minute before knocking quietly.

She opened the door to find him looking tired, worried and uncertain.

With a gentle smile, she took his hand and led him into her room.

**Author's Note: **Just as a warning, I absolutely cannot write destiel. I'm truly terrible at it. So it shall be kept to the barest minimum, mostly awkwardness and confusion. Not meant to offend anyone's sensibilities, I'm just doing what I like. Much thanks to everyone!

_Next Time…_

"_I'll just… take a look around then," Sam said distractedly. He discreetly pulled out the EMF device and sighed as it went crazy._

_ "You have got to be kidding me."_


	8. Chapter 8

_Previously…_

"_Where's our next gig?" Dean asked._

"_Southernmost point in the country."_

"I will never drink again."

Sam had the nerve to laugh as his brother heaved once more into the already filthy toilet bowl. "I might hold you to that."

"Dude, a little empathy might be nice."

"Do you remember anything from last night?"

"I was watching... porn, I think."

"Correction, it was some terrible soap opera, and you were crying."

"You're a dirty liar, Sammy."

"I speak the truth. Nearly brought you to tears when Maria died."

Dean eyes widened, glistening with unshed tears. "Maria died?"

Sam looked confused. "I don't know whether to laugh at you or console you."

"You're a terrific brother you know that?" Dean said, before emptying his stomach into the toilet once more.

"What do you say I drive?" Sam said with an amused glint in his eye.

Dean gave him the finger.

XXX

Sam did end up driving.

After very weak protests from Dean, he took the keys. Dean had sprawled out in the back seat, wearing sunglasses and looking like death and Ruby had taken the passenger seat.

Sam looked in the rearview mirror at his hungover brother. "He had a rough night."

"I think we all did." She gave him a glance from under her lashes.

Sam refrained from commenting.

XXX

"Hey Dean."

"Get off me."

"Dean," Sam insisted. "You'll definitely want to see this."

Grudgingly, Dean sat up, and climbed out of the car. "What is so damn important?"

"We're standing on the southernmost point on the U.S."

Dean glared at his brother. "I am going to kill you."

Sam laughed. "Lighten up. I hear Key West is known for its number of bars."

Dean tasted bile in the back of his throat at the thought of drinking another drop of alcohol. "Seriously Sam, I will smother you in your sleep."

Sam just laughed it off.

"Where's Ruby?" Dean asked, breathing in the sea air.

"At the bar."

The bile taste was back. "Stop mentioning alcohol."

"Sorry, she's at the venue where we will be fighting tomorrow night."

"Right. Where are we crashing?"

"Place called the Seehorse," Sam held out the card for Dean to see the spelling.

"Can they not spell?"

Sam shrugged. "Who knows?"

"Let's get there so I can sleep another at least twenty hours before we fight."

"Thought you wanted to sightsee?"

"I am way too hungover to think about seeing straight, let alone, seeing sights."

"Fair enough."

XXX

"So, Dean's safely knocked out at the motel, and we have all of Key West to explore," Ruby said. "Where to first?"

"I was hoping we could see Ernest Hemingway's house."

Ruby stared at him. "God Sam, you are such a nerd."

"So I've heard."

"Fine you go see nerd things, and I'll scope out the underground, go gambling possibly pick up a prostitute."

"Very funny."

"No really. What else do you think I spend my cut of the profits on?"

"What do you spend it on? You know, besides the prostitutes etc."

"The rooms I rent, clothes, alcohol…"

"Do you eat?"

"Only when I want to."

"Sleep?"

"Same."

"Do you even need to breathe?"

"You ask way too many questions."

"Sorry."

"In answer, yes, I do need to breathe."

"So, I'll be at my nerd things, you do whatever demons do, and we can meet up?"

"Beach?"

"Sounds good."

XXX

"Doesn't seem to be many people," Sam observed as he passed the tour guide by the door.

"No. Ever since the deaths, no one's been coming."

Sam felt his heart sink. "Deaths?"

"Three in the last month. They all looked like suicides. Strange place to top yourself, if you ask me."

"I'll just… take a look around then," Sam said distractedly. He discreetly pulled out the EMF device and sighed as it went crazy.

"You have got to be kidding me."

XXX

"_This is Dean's voicemail. Trust me, you have the wrong number."_

"Dean, get your ass up, we need to talk."

Sam closed his phone and leaned against the boardwalk railing, watching the sun set over the water.

"Hey."

His eyes slid to the side to acknowledge Ruby's presence. "How was the debauchery?"

"Sinful. The geek time?"

"Not so great."

"Oh yeah?"

"Turns out Hemingway's house is haunted."

"So?"

"So Dean and I have to stop it."

"Sam, you're an ex-hunter. You don't have anything to do with this."

"People are dying Ruby. And if we don't help, that's on us."

Ruby muttered something about goddamn humans and their damn souls.

Sam wisely, ignored her.

"Do you even know who the ghost is?"

"I would assume it's Hemingway, he did commit suicide after all."

"But not in that house."

"No, he might be attached to some sort of object in there."

"Or he really loved that house."

"He's buried in Idaho. We'd have to drive out there."

"After the fight of course."

Sam didn't answer.

"Sam, you are not skipping out on a fight."

"People are dying. Someone else could in the few days until we get there."

"They won't. I'll seal the place off."

"How?"

She looked at him like he was stupid. "With crime scene tape."

"Really? Because I think that wouldn't work."

"No, not really. I'll use my demon powers."

"Oh," Sam's ears turned a little pink.

"Speaking of demon powers…" Ruby said casually.

Sam sighed and ran both his hands through his hair. "Why are you making this so difficult?"

"I'm just trying to help."

"Help with what exactly?"

"Help you figure out what you need."

"I don't need your blood," Sam insisted.

Unconsciously he licked his lips at the memory of her hot flesh under his mouth and his tongue wiping up the tangy blood.

"It's okay Sam. You're helping. It's an easier way to kill demons."

"Are you kidding? It knocks me out for hours afterwards. And I ended up killing the host."

"With practice, you wouldn't kill the host. It's miles better than the knife."

"How are you such an expert?"

"I know these things. I'm a demon, you have the kind of powers that we use. I can teach you, and give you the kind of power you need to protect yourself, your brother and everyone else you care about."

Sam refused to look at her, still leaning against the railing.

"Think about how it felt."

"I'm trying not to."

"It is the right thing to do. I promise."

"It can't be."

There was a pregnant pause.

"You want to try that key lime pie that Dean was raving about?" Ruby finally asked.

"We'll have to save him a slice."

"Not if I get to it first."

"He'll fight you for it."

"In his state he couldn't hurt me."

"You'd be surprised. Hungover Dean can be violent."

XXX

After a shower that probably drained hot water for the whole motel, Dean felt quite a bit better. Time had also helped.

Humming _Highway to Hell_ under his breath, he pulled on a thin undershirt and jeans.

He was already beginning to amend his earlier statement about never drinking again. In fact, the best thing for a hangover? More alcohol.

Key West had an over abundance of bars, so Dean had quite a selection. He entered one called The Bull because it was noisy, crowded and the name had made him laugh.

He straddled a barstool and waved the already swamped bartender over. "I'll just have whatever's on tap."

A slight ginger with huge eyes glanced up at his voice. He noticed recognition flash across her face and she quickly looked back at her drink. Which was water, he noted interestedly.

She was gorgeous, in an innocent looking way.

"Couldn't help but notice," he said, catching the wide eyes again. "That you're drinking water, in a bar. Any particular reason? You got me a little curious."

"I don't drink." Her voice was surprisingly confident for the shifty glances she was throwing around the room.

"Then, what are you doing here?"

She looked at him incredulously. "Did you really just use the 'what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?' line on me?"

"No," he said, a little shocked at being called out. "If I was, would it work?"

A single laugh escaped her lips. "I'm waiting for someone," she said, answering his earlier question.

"A particular someone?"

"Kind of."

"Well spill, who?"

"Um. I don't know if you're in the loop about what this bar does after closing time in the basement, but it's kind of gritty."

Dean's heart skipped a beat. "Go on."

"There are these people who should be here later and hopefully can help me."

"Help you with what?"

"I guess you could call it a personal identity crisis," she said with a half smile.

"Do you have a name or description of who these people may be?"

"Just a name."

Dean leaned forward, showing complete interest in whatever she was going to say next. "And? Don't leave me hanging here."

"You ever heard the name Winchester?"

XXX

"Ketchum Idaho."

"Am I supposed to understand what that means?" Ruby asked, mouth full of pie.

"It's where Hemingway and his third wife are buried."

"You're seriously researching that now?"

Sam shut his laptop and considered his untouched slice of pie. "It's a job."

"Do you get bored if you're not constantly doing something?"

"No. This is just bugging me."

"Well, relax and eat."

Sam took an obligatory bite, but didn't focus on it. "What if it's not Hemingway?"

"I'm not answering that."

"All the deaths looked like suicides, and he did commit suicide. Which is a violent death with no resolve what so ever."

Ruby was silent. She had quickly realized that Sam would talk to himself and not even pay attention to whatever the other person said when he was thinking hard.

"But he lived in so many other places, so why his Key West residence?"

"Dean's fighting a unicorn tomorrow and you have to kill evil Santa."

Sam looked up. "Hmm?"

She grinned at him. "Nothing."

"So, where's this fight?"

"The basement of some place called The Bull. Near the center of town."

"We should get to the motel room," Sam said. "Dean still hasn't answered his phone. And we need to talk about this case."

"You know he'll be more than happy to take it."

"I know."

"Which is exactly why it should wait until after the fight."

"What? No, he should know."

"He'll rush off and leave us to deal with the consequences."

"I'll talk to him."

"And how often has that worked?"

She was right, but Sam was so sick of her being right. "No. He'll see reason, and then we can deal with this, but I am not lying to him any more."

"Sam, think about the lies you're already keeping."

Sam glared at her. He stood angrily and left the little café with the tinkling of the bell on the door.

**Author's Note:** Well, Key West, huh? I don't even know how my mind works, I just go with it. Anyway, thank you to my fantastic readers. It makes me insanely happy that people actually read this shit.

_Next Time…_

_ "Care to elaborate?" Dean said. "Heaven's supposed to be all rainbows and puppies, right?"_


	9. Chapter 9

_Previously…_

"_You ever heard the name Winchester?"_

Dean stared at the slim red-head sitting next to him at the bar, open mouthed. "Winchester?"

"Yeah, like the gun."

"I may have heard of them. What do you want with them?"

"I'm going to sound crazy."

"Believe me, I know crazy."

"There are these voices. In my head."

"O..Kay. Maybe you do sound crazy."

She snorted at his comment. "I told you. But the thing is that I just know that they're angels, don't ask how I know, I just do. And they mention the name Winchester quite a lot."

"Angels?"

"Why am I telling you this?" She asked, incredulously.

"I've been told that it's my luminous eyes," he said with a smirk. More seriously he continued. "Actually, it's a good thing you did tell me."

"Why's that?"

"My name's Dean Winchester, and you are?"

Her eyes went even wider, though Dean had thought it impossible. "Anna."

"Well, Anna, I think my brother and I could help you."

XXX

Sam was stewing, looking angrily at his laptop, when his brother entered the room.

"Finally Dean," he said. "We need to talk."

He looked up to find Dean followed in by a girl. "Oh, you probably want the room, I'll just go… wander the streets or something."

"No need," the girl said. "I actually want to talk to both of you."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "A girl just wants to _talk_ to Dean?"

"Harsh, Sammy," Dean said, looking wounded. "This is Anna, and she hears angels."

Sam blinked. "Okay, that definitely trumps my news."

"She wants our help, because apparently, the angels talk about us a lot."

Sam cocked an eyebrow. "Why us?"

"I don't know," Anna admitted. "But you're definitely important."

"Tell me something I don't know," Dean said. Both Sam and Anna glared at him. "Sorry."

"What exactly is your plan to help her?" Sam asked.

"Using my angel hotline," he said with a smirk and closed his eyes. "I really don't know if this is going to work, but this one's a shout out to Castiel. We need your help. So… uh… it would be nice if you could shift your ass." Dean opened one eye experimentally, and opened the other, looking around.

"What do you need?"

Dean whipped around to face Cas.

"Wow, um. I wasn't exactly expecting that to work," Dean said. "Anyway, Sam, this is Cas."

"We've met," Cas and Sam said at the same time.

Dean blinked in surprise. "You did? When?"

"Last night," Cas said. "You do not remember?"

"Last night I was kind of black-out drunk. Don't remember a thing."

Sam nodded. "He was pathetic this morning."

Cas shifted his weight awkwardly. "Ah. Well. What do you need?" Dean could have sworn he was blushing.

"This girl," Dean gestured to Anna. "Can hear your angel chatter and would like to know why and who she is."

Cas glanced at Anna and did a double take. "Anna?"

"Do I know you?"

"Anna, it's me."

Anna looked a bit like a deer in the headlights. More so than usual.

"It's been centuries," Castiel said, still staring at her in awe.

"But, I'm only twenty-six." She shifted her weight uncomfortably under his intense stare.

"You really don't remember?"

She shook her head dubiously.

Castiel looked heart broken. "I can remind you, but it may be a bit painful."

"Anything. I need to know why this is happening to me."

Cas gave her a tragic look. "Be prepared for the pain. The things you are about to remember are too great for a human mind to handle."

She gulped, but didn't back down. "Just get it over with."

Cas place both hands on the side of her face and his eyes slid shut.

There was a slight crackle of blue as he made contact and Anna began to shiver uncontrollably. Suddenly her body jerked to the side and nearly collapsed. Cas held on, looking concentrated. She whimpered slightly and struggled, but Cas remained calm and stoic. Her lips were white with the strain of holding back her screams.

Eventually, Cas let her go, And she collapsed against him. He caught her and set her down on the bed gently.

"You can do the Vulcan mind-meld?" Dean asked, impressed.

"I don't understand that reference," Cas informed him.

"Never mind." Dean said, waving his hand in exasperation. "What did you find?"

"Anna is… She's my sister."

The brothers looked blankly at him.

"She's an angel," he clarified.

"An angel?"

"Technically, a fallen angel."

"That's why she can't remember?" Dean asked.

"Yes, she has been in various mortal vessels for over a century. Fallen angels are reborn to barren mothers who pray for a child."

"How did she fall?" Sam asked.

"It was her choice. She fled."

"From what?"

"Heaven."

"Care to elaborate?" Dean said. "Heaven's supposed to be all rainbows and puppies, right?"

"Not necessarily for angels. Heaven is… paradise. I wouldn't have it any other way, but we are the Lord's soldiers, and we must obey."

"Doesn't sound so great to me," Dean commented.

"It's perfect. That's how it's supposed to be. But Anna wasn't exactly happy. She began with disobedience, which is the ultimate sin for angels. Rebellion ends in the most painful of punishments. Anna decided against that and chose the more painful, but shorter way: she chose to fall. Falling is akin to having your wings ripped off and leaving a gaping hole. It is more than that, though. It's a part of her being that was ripped away. No wonder she can hear the angels speaking. She must be damaged."

"Why would she choose that?" Sam asked. "She was an angel, the purest thing we've encountered, and she decided to leave that?"

"Like I said, she was unhappy. Angels do not feel as you do, our pleasure comes from obedience to our Father and defense of the righteous. She wanted more. She wanted some of what you have."

"She didn't know what she was getting herself into, did she?" Dean, said, looking at the ex-angel on his bed. She looked pitifully small while sleeping and her brow was furrowed. Already she had brought out his protective streak.

"She was unprepared for human life. But everyone is, angel or not."

XXX

_The pain was unbearable. She almost considered backing out and enduring the eternity of pain they had planned for her. Instead she gritted her teeth and held on._

_ "Don't do this."_

_ She could still hear Castiel's pleas._

_ "Don't leave us."_

_ I have to. That's what she had told him, and by now, there was no going back. She would be human, for the rest of eternity._

_ It wouldn't be that bad. Considering the pain she was in now, human life had its upsides._

_ There was this 'sex' she had heard about…_

_ The pain intensified and she cried out. Please just let it stop._

_ But no one could hear her. Even if He could, she had all but forsaken Him._

_ "You're no better than Lucifer."_

_ That's what Raphael had told her._

_ A tear slid down her cheek as she considered that it may be true._

_ And then she hit the earth and her being was split into thousands of particles._

XXX

"She was the favorite. She was beautiful, talented and a graceful creature. But she suffered from pride and it got the better of her," Cas admitted gravely.

XXX

_"You now lead all of this."_

_ Raphael gestured across the swarms of angels now at her command. "You've proven that you can fight, lead and give, but also follow orders."_

_ "Thank you."_

_ That kind of praise from an archangel affects you forever._

XXX

_"You fly beautifully."_

_ It was common knowledge. Her wings, when seen (it was rare for an angel to pull out their wings), were a pure white, tapering to gray only at the very tips._

_ Castiel couldn't help but envy them over his own soft brown and white mottled ones. He'd avoided jealousy for his entire existence, but his sister always managed to bring it out in him._

_ And she had a grace when she flew, her taut body lengthened and it seemed more like a dance than transport._

_ It was something she loved, not a burden._

XXX

"In the end she rebelled. And I can't completely forgive her for that just yet."

XXX

_"Have you ever wanted more?"_

_ "More than paradise?"_

_ "Yes."_

_ "I have all I could ever want."_

_ "You've never even been curious about Earth?"_

_ "Angels aren't curious."_

_ There was a pause._

_ "I want to go down there."_

_ "Why? What do they have that we don't?"_

_ "They have bodies, they can move, they have emotions."_

_ "We don't need emotions."_

_ "Come with me. Just for a day. We can take vessels and see the world for one day."_

_ "We can't."_

_ "Please."_

XXX

"But she was my constant companion and I missed her."

XXX

_ The vessels felt awkward around them, a little encumbering, but Anna was happy, so Castiel could tolerate it for the day he had promised her._

_ "I want to eat."_

_ Watching lips move and the tongue forming words was a new experience, and to be honest, a little disgusting to watch._

_ "Is it necessary?"_

_ "This isn't necessary. Today is about taking what we want, Castiel."_

_ So they did. They ate in fifty countries and drank in at least seventy._

_ Castiel watched Anna dance. Her inherent grace had managed to find its way into her vessel, which when it moved in dance, was so clearly like her flight._

_ A single day of rebellion was worth it to see her happier than ever she had been in heaven._

XXX

"I knew I would miss her and I begged her to reconsider falling, but she knew the consequences and stood her ground to the end.

XXX

_"Anna, I'm begging you. Don't leave us. We're your family, and nothing can change that."_

_ "I believe you, Castiel, you did always love me, but try to bring that up with Michael or Raphael and see how it goes."_

_ "They will forgive you. They always have."_

_ "This time they can't. I love all of you, but this is what I want."_

_ "You taught me about taking what I want and I want you to stay."_

_ "Castiel, you know what they will do to me. I have no choice."_

_ "Please."_

_ "Goodbye."_

_ He couldn't bear her screams of pain as she plummeted away from him._

_ "She is no longer our sister," Raphael's deep voice rang in his ears, comforting Castiel with the dulcet tones. "She has forsaken us and our father. Forget her."_

_ "Of course."_

_ But he never would._

_ He couldn't._

XXX

Anna opened her eyes.

Everything seemed too bright after her revelation. She sat up.

"Castiel."

He turned and those all too familiar blue eyes looked back at her, filled with confusion and love. "Hello Anna."

There was a pause as they seemed to communicate silently.

"I… never thought I'd see you again."

"Nor I you."

"How's the family?"

"Torn."

Anna's heart broke a bit. "Of course it is."

"Raphael told me to forget you, but I couldn't."

Anna smiled at him. "My little rebel."

Cas visibly flinched at the word. "I should turn you in."

"You can't. I fell, my punishment is due."

"You won't go looking for your wings?"

"They're very well hidden. I could never find them."

"Then I can't turn you in."

They simply stared into each other's eyes. Angels' communication is complicated. It's like waves bouncing off each other and it's constantly there when angels are together.

Anna had been deprived of another angel's presence for centuries. Feeling Castiel right across from her was the most intimate thing she had felt since falling.

The door crashed open.

"Sam, we need to talk."

Ruby stood in the doorway, hands on her cocked hips, glaring at Sam Winchester.

The angels were broken out of their reverie and took in the sight of the demon.

Castiel's eyes darkened dangerously. "Demon," he muttered.

For the first time, Ruby noticed the smite-ready angel.

"Shit," she said, and turned to leave in a hurry.

**Author's Note:** I've always found Anna's character really interesting. She always had a lot of potential, and I plan to use that potential. I know many people hate her, but come on, she's a ginger.

_Next Time…_

_"Move Dean, before I remove you." He looked truly dangerous, like a kind of short, nerdy looking, ball of righteous anger._


	10. Chapter 10

_ Previously…_

_For the first time, Ruby noticed the smite-ready angel._

_ "Shit," she said, and turned to leave in a hurry._

Cas stalked toward the door, looking ready to destroy anything that came between him and divine justice.

Dean did just that. "Hold on Cas," Dean said, hurrying to stand in front of him. "We need her."

"Move Dean, before I remove you." He looked truly dangerous, like a kind of short, nerdy looking, ball of righteous anger.

"I can't. We _need_ her around. Without her our job becomes five times more difficult."

"I'll go talk to her," Sam said, slipping out of the room, casting one nervous glance at Cas.

"Dean, I'm warning you. That's a demon you're working with."

Dean stood his ground. "I know that. And I don't like it, and maybe one day we can fix it, but not today."

For a second Dean was sure he was about to be served up a holy can of whoop-ass, but Castiel's eyes dimmed from electric blue to his usual cerulean.

"You're walking a dangerous path Dean. The second that demon crosses you, I will be there to kill her."

"Not if I do first," Dean said, smiling a relieved smile. "Now, who else needs a drink?"

XXX

"Ruby!"

She was pelting down the sidewalk, in no particular direction, just as far away from certain death as she could. Her heart was jumping out of her chest. She could still feel the electric energy that had filled the room as the angel had gotten ready to kill her. She could still taste the metallic taste of ozone at the back of her throat.

She ran harder.

"Ruby, Stop!"

She ignored Sam and kept running.

Adrenaline still pumped through her veins and there was no way she was slowing down anytime soon.

"Come on, he's not going to kill you."

She stopped suddenly, so that Sam almost ran into her and turned to face him so they were nose to nose.

"Oh yeah?" She snarled. "And what makes you so sure?"

"Dean's talking him down, he'll listen to reason."

"No, he's an angel. He won't listen. He's programmed to kill evil."

"You're not evil."

"How would you know? Do you know some of the things I've done? In hell?"

"I…" Sam paused. "Wait, you _knew_ angels existed and you never told us?"

"There were rumors legends. They're like the monster under demons' beds. Would you believe in the boogey man?"

"Yes," Sam said with a straight face. "We met him a year ago in Brooklyn."

Ruby opened her mouth to reply but stopped.

Sam cracked a smile. "I'm kidding."

"Haha," she said sarcastically. "But it turns out angels _are_ real and one is after my ass."

"No, he's not. Dean's talking to him. He won't kill you, we'll keep you apart."

"You can't promise that."

"Come on, let's wait out here while tensions cool in there." He took her hand and led her further down the sidewalk.

XXX

Dean was leaning on the small beat up table in the motel room and was trying to ignore the fact that he was feeling more and more like a third wheel.

Cas kept openly staring at Anna, which she would often return. Dean had no idea what kind of communication was going on there and he was pretty sure he didn't really need to know.

He poured himself another glass of whiskey and coughed slightly.

"What's your plan?" He asked Anna.

She jerked away from her staring contest with Cas and frowned at him. "I'm really not sure. I can't really go back to my old life. And I can't become an angel again…" she paused, unable to think of any alternatives.

"You can stay here the night. Ruby's got a room…" Dean stopped at Castiel's glare.

"My sister is not sharing quarters with a demon."

"…Or you could stay in here."

"Nor is she staying with two men."

"Or we can pay for a room for you for the night."

Cas seemed pacified.

"I couldn't, I have some money…"

"Which you will need in the future," Dean pointed out.

Anna began to protest, but Cas gave her a glare.

She glared back at him. "You can't exactly tell me what to do."

"You no longer out rank me. And you're my sister."

"_Older _sister."

"Don't worry Cas," Dean said. "She'll be safe with us."

"She better be," Castiel said and disappeared.

In the awkward silence that ensued, Dean offered Anna the bottle still in his hand.

She shook her head. "Sorry, I…"

"Don't drink, right." He poured more into his own glass. "More for me."

She smiled slightly. "I know Castiel can be a little overbearing sometimes, but he really does care."

"You're his sister. I can sympathize with the whole protective sibling gig."

"Sam. Do you have to protect him a lot?"

Dean paused. It was a much more complicated question than it should have been. The answer should have been 'of course, kid doesn't know his ass from his mouth' but Dean still hesitated. "It's my job," he finally said. "Always has been."

Anna accepted that. "It used to be my job to teach Castiel. For an angel he is still very young. I taught him how to fly."

"So, you guys really do have wings?"

"We do, but we hardly ever use them while we're in vessels. Mostly in heaven."

"Could I see yours?" Dean asked hesitantly.

Anna smiled sadly. "I would let you, but I lost mine."

"Right, when you fell."

"The archangels hid them from me. They're somewhere on earth, along with my grace, but if I ever look for them, I'm condemned to die."

"Wow, harsh. Do you think I could get Cas to show me his?"

"I doubt it, unless he's trying to intimidate you."

"Aw c'mon. Does that mean I just have to piss him off?"

Anna laughed slightly. "That, I would not recommend."

Dean mock pouted, then grew serious. "What really is your plan? I mean, you can stay with us for as long as you need, but it's not all that safe."

Anna shrugged. "I can try to start a new life. I can't exactly go back to my family. They all think I'm insane." She looked up ashamedly at Dean. "I kind of escaped from a mental hospital to get here."

Dean looked impressed.

"They'll probably just throw me back in. So honestly, I have no clue what I'm going to do."

Dean looked thoughtful. "What if you _did_ get your wings back?"

"I told you, if I even tried, they'd kill me, for good. Besides, I happen to like being human."

Dean snorted. "It's overrated."

"No, you have emotions…"

"Like pain."

"Food."

Dean nodded in agreement. "Pie and cheeseburgers are definitely worth the pain of humanity."

"Free-will, sex, I could go on."

"Fine, you got me, being human's a great gig, but being an angel wouldn't be so bad."

Anna gave him a grave look.

"I'm taking that as a 'yes it could'."

"I was happy for centuries."

"But…?"

"But I was tired of orders," she said simply. "I wanted what I wanted and I couldn't have it." Her inhumanly huge eyes dipped to glance at his lips.

Just a few hours earlier, he had been thinking about how beautiful she was. Of course then it had been in a cute sort of innocent, catholic-school girl way. Now she was a different person. A little dangerous, completely off limits, Cas would definitely smite him after this, and all that was a bit of a turn on.

"But humans," Anna continued, taking a step closer to where he was leaning against the rickety table. "You can take what you want. Whenever you want it."

She had her hands placed on the table on either side of his hips. He smirked slightly. "It happens to be one of my specialties."

XXX

"I should probably call Dean, ask if Cas is gone yet."

Ruby groaned. "I don't want to go back just yet. It's nice out."

It was stifling, but the heat had dissipated some and the night air blowing in from the ocean was welcome. Sam accepted the partial lie and lay back against the still sun warmed sand.

He'd met two angels today, something he hadn't thought would happen until at least after he was dead. And considering the way his soul was going, probably not even then.

He sighed as a warm body pressed up against his. The realization that it was Ruby and that he might actually be cuddling with a demon crossed his mind, but disappeared just as quickly. Even semi-human presence was welcome.

They were silent for a few moments, just enjoying the night air as the temperature dropped further.

"What time is it?" Ruby asked.

Sam glanced at his phone. "Eight."

"Well, we don't have to be at the Bull until eleven."

Sam opened his eyes, and glanced down the length of the beach. It was deserted. He looked down at the demon by his side, and kissed her slowly. She accepted it, and he wrapped an arm around her waist, rolling so that he was partially on top of her.

After a few moments, she broke away. "Are we really going to do this on the beach?" She asked with one eyebrow raised.

Sam smirked and began kissing her neck. "I just admitted that I'm actually screwing a demon, so I'm going to screw her wherever I want."

Ruby smirked triumphantly at him as he moved to undo her jeans' button.

XXX

Dean wrapped his arms around Anna's waist and leaned into the kiss, deepening it further. Her mouth tasted like honeysuckle in mid-July. They moved slowly and sensuously, constantly touching faces, shoulders, waists, thoroughly exploring each other's bodies.

It felt as if Dean were in a summer haze, surrounded by her scent of oranges and her sweet mouth, she seemed to fit the environment of Florida perfectly.

Slowly, he took hold of her hips and stood, moving her backward to the bed.

When they reached it she lay down sensually and looked at him expectantly. He hurriedly joined her lips again and she sat up to meet him eagerly.

XXX

Ruby bit her lip to keep from making too much of a racket, but a slight moan escaped her.

Sam trailed his tongue to the other breast, teasing her nipple with his teeth, eliciting that muffled sound of ecstasy once more. Almost as a way of getting back, Ruby slid her hand into his pants and brushed his cock. He inhaled quickly and she smirked at him.

He made a face at her and pulled her pants off, leaving her completely naked beneath him.

"No fair," she gasped out and reached to remove his pants. He slid out of them, pulling his boxers off with them.

He felt exposed on the beach, but he had to guess it was part of the allure. After all Ruby seemed completely okay. The thought struck him that she had probably done this thousands of times in her many, many years on earth.

She moved, unable to understand why he was pausing. "What are you waiting for?"

"Just getting payback," he said, remembering their first time and how she had taken complete control.

Her eyes widened with realization and he painstakingly slowly, slid inside her.

XXX

Dean placed his hands at the small of Anna's back to gain more leverage as he thrust deeper into her. She kissed his shoulder lightly and ran her mouth up to his so that they met in an open mouthed kiss. He moved his mouth to her jaw and began to nibble slowly, leaving a red mark. She threw her head back with a gasp as he thrust particularly deep into her.

The moved together in a perfect rhythm, changing to fit the other's needs automatically.

Her fingers traveled through his hair, stroking his head softly. A sort of tension was building between them as they both grew closer to coming. Dean's breathing was ragged and he could feel Anna's rapid inhaling against his neck.

She shuddered, whispering his name on an exhale and she tightened around him.

At the exact same moment he came inside her and groaned softly, leaning his forehead against hers as they simultaneously went over the edge.

XXX

Sand was rubbing Ruby's back raw, but she was hardly complaining. The complete opposite in fact. She was, instead, continuing to move her raw back in rolling movement because she couldn't stop herself. Sam was urging her on with long deep, and now building in pace and intensity, thrusts. She could tell he was barely holding on, his legs were trembling with the effort, and she was unbearably close herself.

She moved her hips more violently just as he was coming down, resulting in both of them crying out at the same time.

It was the last straw.

Ruby gripped his waist with her legs and thrust upward to meet him one last time before crashing over the edge, he placed his shaking hands on her hips as he came as well, shuddering to a stop with a quiet exclamation of her name.

She stroked his silky hair as they lay there, unmoving, sweaty and covered with sand.

**Author's Note:** I got an extremely thoughtful and incredibly nice review on the last chapter. Much thanks, you know who you are. Seriously, kind words like those keep me going. Love and cookies to you all.

_Next Time…_

_ Dean nodded, but he was still frowning. "How often is it that simple?"_

_ "Never," Sam admitted. "But maybe we got lucky this time."_


	11. Chapter 11

_Previously…_

_"Ketchum Idaho."_

_ "Am I supposed to understand what that means?" Ruby asked, mouth full of pie._

_ "It's where Hemingway and his third wife are buried."_

"And you didn't tell me this before?" Dean shouted angrily at his brother.

"I was a little distracted by the fact that we found a fallen angel!" Sam argued.

They had just finished showering after their fight and Dean still had a towel wrapped around his waist.

"People were dying Sam, and you thought it wasn't important?"

"I didn't say that!"

"We need to leave, tonight."

"I'm not arguing."

They paused.

"What about Anna?" Sam asked.

"We paid for her to stay the night, she can stay here."

"We're saying goodbye at least, right?"

"Of course," Dean said, awkwardly.

Sam gave him a weird look, but didn't pursue it.

XXX

"Really," Anna said. "Thanks for everything."

"It was nothing," Dean said.

"No, you helped me discover who I am. I can think I'm sane again. I'll be fine, I promise. You take care of yourselves."

Dean nodded. "You too. It was…great."

Sam was staring at his brother the whole way to the car. "You tapped that didn't you?"

"What?" Dean looked guilty. "No!...Yes."

Sam smiled. "Nice."

"Don't you dare tell Cas, he would smite my ass."

Sam laughed. "Your secret's safe with me."

"So, Ketchum Idaho?"

"Yep."

"Let's go burn Hemingway."

XXX

It was three in the morning and they were still driving.

Dean was the only one awake, but he was fading. Determined to get to Idaho or not, he was exhausted. Fighting two vampires and then driving in the dark for hours in one night sucked.

He nudged Sam. "Sammy?"

Sam didn't move. He was just as bone tired as his brother.

"I'm awake too, dumb ass."

Dean jumped and nearly drove off the road. "Shit Ruby!"

"I don't need to sleep. I could take the wheel."

Dean laughed. "Good one. I will never allow your backside to touch the driver's seat of my baby. We can pull off to the side of the road."

"Your loss," Ruby shrugged.

Dean scowled. An annoying demon was the last thing he needed right then.

XXX

Both The Winchesters snored.

They were loud, annoying and Ruby couldn't really handle it anymore. She stepped out of the car and fished in her bag for a cigarette.

It had been months since she'd last smoked.

She inhaled deeply, enjoying the nicotine enhancing her senses, and slowly blew the smoke out through her nostrils.

"Impressive, but unnecessary."

"For a busy man you sure do come to see me a lot, Crowley."

He leaned against the Impala's hood next to her. "What can I say? You're my favorite."

Ruby snorted and took another drag from her cigarette.

"New plan," he announced.

"Really? 'Cause I've just started managing this one."

"Don't worry your pretty head, you still get to seduce the moose," Crowley grinned at his own rhyming. "You just have something else to do as well. Should be much easier."

"Great."

"You've heard about the apocalypse?"

"What about it?"

"That it's coming."

"Of course."

"The Winchesters are going to try and stop it."

"I know what my job is."

"Change of plans, I want you to help them."

"But Lilith…"

"Lilith is an imbecile and will end up dead before this even starts."

"This is going against direct orders."

"I give the orders here."

"I could be killed for this."

"I could kill you now for not doing this."

Ruby glared at him. "Fine, any reason you want to go against the plan?"

"Souls. Think about it. Sure we get a sudden influx with the end of the world, but after that, business slows down. We don't get any more. It's a terrible business plan for crossroads demons."

Ruby tapped her cigarette on the edge of the hood to flick off the ash. "It's risky. If Lilith, who gave me specific orders, or even Lucifer found out…"

"Well, make sure they don't."

"I'll think about it."

"I'm not asking you to think about it, I'm telling you to do it."

"Fine, but one way or another, Lilith will die, you realize."

Crowley snorted. "Good riddance, she's a bitch."

Ruby nodded in agreement. "She released me back from hell, though. I owe her."

"Dear, you're a demon. Don't forget that."

"Of course I know that," Ruby argued, but found she was talking to an empty space.

She sighed and sat on the hood of the car, finishing her cigarette and brooding about her new job.

It couldn't be all that bad. Though she would never admit, even to herself, she was becoming attached to this lifestyle. It made money, although there was a distinct lack of souls, and it had Sam Winchester.

She leaned back, staring at the stars. She could deal if the world didn't end.

But the consequences if Crowley's plan went wrong would be devastating.

XXX

After smoking for the first time in months, she was on her fifth in an hour.

"I didn't know you smoked," Sam asked, joining her outside the car.

"I don't, well, I haven't in a while. It's generally what demons do."

"Remind you of home?" Sam asked sarcastically.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Yeah, 'cause hell would be home." She looked at the slowly burning tip of the cigarette. "In a way, it kind of does. But that's not the point."

Sam nodded like he understood. Which, of course, he would, if it was going to plan.

Ruby was this side of bringing it up, but changed her mind at the last second.

"If you're awake, you should get driving. Dean would probably let your 'backside touch the driver's seat of his baby'. His words, not mine."

"Probably should."

He opened the driver's door and coaxed Dean out of the front seat until he was stretched comfortably in the back. Sam claimed the keys.

Ruby snuffed her cigarette underfoot and climbed into the passenger seat.

XXX

They pulled into the Ketchum Idaho cemetery late the next night.

After hours of digging in the cool night air, Dean's shovel finally hit the top of an ornate mahogany coffin.

"Jackpot," Dean said and pried the coffin open with his shovel.

"No way," Sam said as all three of them looked inside with shock.

"Son of a bitch," Dean muttered.

"Well that was pointless night of digging," Ruby observed. "Can we leave now?"

The inside of the coffin, which seemed to have been very fine silk, was charred with the ashes of what used to be Ernest Hemingway's remains.

"We should have noticed that the dirt was recently turned," Sam groaned. "Now I'm tired and it was for nothing."

"Who was it anyway?" Dean asked.

"Who cares?" Ruby asked rhetorically. "Let's leave, I'm getting cold."

Sam handed her his coat, which he had discarded after his most recent shift of digging. She accepted it gratefully, but didn't stop pouting.

"C'mon Dean, looks like another hunter got here first, let's just fill this hole up and crash somewhere," Sam suggested.

Dean nodded, but he was still frowning. "How often is it that simple?"

"Never," Sam admitted. "But maybe we got lucky this time."

None of them were convinced.

XXX

Dean woke the next morning sore from the pointless night of digging.

He glanced over to find Sam's bed empty and neatly made with a note on the pillow. Groaning, Dean got up to read it.

It explained that he was out running and would be back with pie for breakfast.

Dean's morning was beginning to look up. The kid's morning habits were odd but they had their perks.

He turned and his mood instantly began to go downhill once more as he came face to face with a vengeful angel.

"Hey Cas," Dean said trying not to look guilty. "What brings you here on this fine morning?"

Castiel's eyes narrowed. "You had sexual intercourse with my sister."

"Ah," Dean began awkwardly. "I can explain."

"There is no need for you to explain, I understand perfectly. You used her."

"I did not. We were both consenting adults."

Cas truly began to look dangerous. "How dare you, you insignificant ape."

"I get the whole protective sibling thing, I really do, but…"

"There are no buts necessary."

Dean opened his mouth, but closed it quickly as Cas continued to glare at him.

"First, she's my _sister_. It is natural for me to be angry at bastard males who use her correct?"

Dean nodded meekly.

"You should understand, being an older sibling."

"I'd be proud if Sammy got used," Dean said, but Cas effectively shut him up with a withering glare.

"Second, she's something pure. She used to be an angel. Have you no shame?"

"Apparently not."

"Third," Cas continued. "This is within forty-eight hours of you kissing me in a drunken haze."

That definitely shocked Dean. "Wait, what?"

But there was no stopping Cas now. "Which just goes to prove that you, Dean Winchester, despite the big plans heaven has for you and the insane obsession that my superiors have with you and your brother, are simply a horny, insatiable, bastard."

Dean stood slack-jawed at the outburst, unsure how to respond. "I'm… sorry?"

Silence hung in the air for a good five minutes.

Dean broke it. "Did I really kiss you?"

Cas looked like a deer in the headlights. "Maybe… yes."

Dean digested this. "Did I like it?"

"I wasn't reading your mind at that moment Dean, it seemed too personal."

"You can read my mind?"

"Maybe… yes."

"Um, okay. So I kissed an angel, who is also a guy."

"Once again Dean, I respect your understanding of the simple facts."

"Shut up Cas, this is your fault."

"How? You're the one who kissed me."

"Obviously, I was drunk. Too drunk to remember it. You probably got in my drunk sphere. I will fuck anything in my drunk sphere."

"Dean, you are making no sense."

"I'm trying to process okay? Never kissed a guy before." Dean looked more than a little panicked. "Does this make me gay?"

Cas could not believe how this had devolved. He had come here to smite Dean for what he did to Anna, but instead he was trying to comfort Dean who was now questioning his sexuality. "I doubt it. You did have sex with Anna after all."

Dean looked a little relieved, but still confused. Also a little afraid that the recent mention of Anna would make Cas want to kill him again. "I was very drunk," he said with resolve, like it solved all problems. On that note, he began to search for a drink. If ever there was a time one was necessary, it was now.

Cas nodded, wishing that alcohol could explain his own reactions to Dean's kiss.

Dean pulled a beer out of the loud mini fridge that resided underneath the sink, he offered one to Cas, but only got a condescending look in return.

"Was it good?" Dean asked awkwardly, totally unsure of what to say in this instance.

"I can hardly judge," Cas said, in equal awkwardness.

Dean nodded and took a sip of his beer. "Not so experienced?"

"No. I've spent an eternity in a non-corporeal form in heaven. Physical contact was not necessary." Cas sounded condescending and aloof, but he couldn't help remembering the adrenaline that had flooded him, and barely controlled a shiver.

"Right."

They were both saved by Sam entering, looking sweaty and carrying a bag that most probably carried pie.

"Dean, I brought apple, hope that's alright," he caught sight of Cas. "Oh, hey Cas. You staying for our ever so healthy breakfast?"

"I was just leaving," he said. "That was an… interesting discussion Dean."

And he disappeared with the soft sound of fluttering wings.

"What was that about?" Sam asked, setting the bag down by the sink.

"Nothing," Dean said, eyes a little too wide.

Sam gave him a disbelieving look, but dropped the subject in favor of pie.

XXX

Dean tossed his bag into the trunk, and threw Sam's in after it. Sam would kick his ass if he knew how Dean was treating his stuff, but he was inside talking to Ruby, so he never had to know.

Dean shut the trunk and turned only to be tackled to the ground landing with a huff.

Struggling beneath his attacker, Dean soon found himself in a headlock.

"Stop moving Winchester."

The voice was terribly familiar.

Dean finally succeeded in turning around to face the attacker.

"Gordon?" He said in shock.

"That's right Dean. I was in town working a case, and happened to find you in the cemetery redigging a hole I recently filled up, and thought I'd take care of a little business. You thought you could get away with your little stunt? Well I'm going to have to put an end to it."

Dean groaned. There went the simplicity of the case. The Winchesters were never that lucky.

**Author's Note:** Why Hemingway, you may ask? I really don't know. Thank you the amazing reviewers with awesome insight. It's great to know that people understand where I'm coming from with this. I was particularly inspired today, but I think that it's wearing off, so you may or may not get a new chapter any time soon. Hope you're still liking it because we've still got a long way to go before it's over. Yay?

_Next Time…_

_ "You want me, a servant of heaven, to release you, devil spawn, into the world?"_


	12. Chapter 12

_ Previously…_

_Dean finally succeeded in turning around to face the attacker._

_ "Gordon?" He said in shock._

Dean struggled to buck Gordon off him, but the man wasn't moving.

He sneered. "You're not going anywhere Dean, not until you tell me where your brother and his demon are."

Dean spat in his eye. Gordon barely flinched. "You know, there was a time when I thought we could have been friends. But you don't have what it takes to be a true hunter. Instead you whore around with that slut of a demon, making a profit."

"Jealous?"

"Hardly. You disgust me."

"Funny, last I checked you were missing the day they handed out morals."

"I get the job done."

"So do I. Sorry if I don't do it your way."

"Enough chat, tell me where he is."

Dean glared up at him defiantly.

"Am I going to have to start kicking doors in?"

"You'd have to let me go to do that," Dean pointed out snarkily.

Gordon nodded, conceding the point, then whacked Dean across the temple with the butt of his gun, knocking him out.

XXX

"We should really get to the car," Sam muttered, swollen lips millimeters from Ruby's.

She nodded in agreement, brushing against his lips with the movement.

Neither of them moved from their position, Sam sitting on the end of the bed, with Ruby straddling his hips.

He hadn't really meant to end up in this spot. The intention had been to quickly let her know that they were packing up and leaving, but things had escalated.

Sam mentally kicked himself. He was acting like a horny teenager.

"I mean we really should…"

Ruby cut him off, roughly kissing him again, her tongue demanding immediate entrance.

Sam couldn't resist her, and gave in quickly. Dean could wait.

A crash resounded from the room next to theirs, which was the Winchesters'.

They pulled back, listening.

Someone was moving in the other room Ruby slid off his lap and they moved quickly and silently. Sam reached into his waistband for his gun, and Ruby unsheathed the knife concealed in her boot.

Sam gestured to the door with his head and slowly crept up to it, opening it deliberately. He looked around the corner to find the door wide open and the handle damaged. So it had been kicked in.

Ruby flicked the curtains open. The Impala's trunk was still open, but Dean was nowhere to be found.

"We should really get out of here," she muttered to Sam.

"Not until I make sure the owners are alright."

Ruby rolled her eyes but didn't argue. However she did make her own escape through the window.

Sam threw an incredulous look behind him at her ass disappearing through the swishing curtains. He turned his attention back to the door and entered the hall, gun pointed in front of him.

"Winchester."

Sam whirled around to face the voice, and his eyes widened. "Not you."

"Yes me." Gordon had a gun pressed to Dean's unconscious head. "And you and I have a few things to discuss."

"I don't now where you got this crazy idea that I'm the antichrist, but it's ridiculous."

"It started out as that, and I still think you are, but now you're out there disgracing other hunters with what you call a profession. You need to be eliminated. And all the other 'fighters'."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Really, _that_ is what this is about?"

"Just follow me, or your brother gets it in the temple."

Sam put his gun down and followed as Gordon backed out of the motel.

"Are the owners okay?" Sam demanded.

"They'll be fine."

Sam gritted his teeth and allowed Gordon to duct tape his hands together behind his back and shoved him in the back seat with Dean. He pulled a canvas bag over both their heads.

_Now would be a good time, Ruby,_ Sam thought and he felt Gordon's car lurch into reverse.

XXX

Ruby felt like kicking herself.

The oldest trick in the book and she had fallen for it.

She looked down at her feet and the devil's trap that currently surrounded them. Right outside the window she had been fleeing from.

She saw Sam getting abducted and violently cursed herself once more.

There was no way she was getting out of this and she was currently in a bad situation. Any of her enemies, and she had plenty, could attack her and she would be defenseless.

She wracked her brain for ideas.

She could call someone, but the only people who might actually help her were currently being driven to an unknown destination. Crowley wouldn't answer unless it was for business, and there was no way she could get his attention considering she had no soul to give away.

There was someone who would probably come when called, but it wouldn't be to save her. It would mean certain death.

Running out of options and with a growing distance between herself and the kidnapped Winchesters, Ruby took drastic measures.

And the demon prepared to pray.

XXX

Dean came to tied to a chair.

"I've woken up like this far too many times," he muttered.

"Dean?" A voice croaked.

Dean turned to take in his brother's swollen bloody face. That woke him up. "What happened to you?"

"Gordon."

"Son of a bitch." Dean struggled against his restraints but found them sound. Obviously, Gordon knew what he was doing.

"Where is he?"

"He left. I'm pretty sure he's going after Ruby."

"Gives us some time," Dean observed, still trying to find a weak spot.

"Good luck with that," Sam said. "I've been trying forever and I can't feel my hands."

Dean growled and refused to give up.

XXX

"Um… I really don't know how to do this," Ruby began, sure that her tongue would burn out of her mouth at any second. She was fairly certain that demons praying was very taboo. But the hunter had to be after her and she needed help fast. Taking a breath, she closed her eyes. "Castiel, angel of Thursday, this is that demon you wanted to smite the other day. I'm calling on behalf of Dean Winchester and in the hope that you won't smite me this time."

There was a slight fluttering of wings and she opened her eye fearfully to find the icy blue eyes of the angel.

"Where's Dean?"

"He's been taken. That's what I called about, you see I could help, but I'm in a bit of a predicament and I can't call anyone else so you were kind of my last resort. They were abducted by a hunter, I think and I need your help to get them back," Ruby explained hurriedly before the angel could find a reason to kill her on the spot.

Castiel absorbed this thoughtfully. "You want me, a servant of heaven, to release you, devil spawn, into the world?"

"Yes?" Ruby said, definitely seeing a smiting in her future.

Castiel glared at her coldly. "Why would you think I would help you?"

"For Dean's sake?"

"He is not overly fond of you."

"But he needs me."

Cas nodded. "His folly. I will help you, but only to rescue the Winchesters. After, pray we do not meet again." Cas waved a hand and the devil's trap disappeared.

Ruby exhaled in relief. "The hunter should be coming back for me."

"Why?"

"Why else would he leave a devil's trap outside the window? He'll come back, if only to finish me off."

"You propose we follow him back to where they are kept?"

"Have you got a better idea?"

"Yes," Cas said and disappeared.

"Well great," Ruby muttered sarcastically, just as the angel reappeared in front of her.

"I know where they are," he said. "Come."

He gripped her shoulder and nausea overcame her.

XXX

Gordon circled the motel cautiously. The devil's trap should have held her, but you never could tell with demons. Pointing a gun in front of him, and grasping a flask of holy water in his free hand, he rounded the corner.

And found a blank spot on the ground where the devil's trap should have been. More importantly, where the demon should have been.

"Fuck," he muttered to himself and rushed back to his car, praying that he reached the Winchesters before she could find them.

XXX

Ruby stumbled into Cas, nearly passing out.

"Never do that again."

"If we ever meet again," he replied icily.

As her vision began to clear, Ruby took in her surroundings. They were outside a warehouse that had clearly been abandoned for years.

"They in there?"

Cas nodded. "There are traps set inside, we will need to be careful."

Ruby nodded, swallowing. Just being around the angel was terrifying. Pure energy was rolling off him and there was the tangy taste of o-zone in the air surrounding him. She knew that he could end her with a thought. She swallowed again, unable to stop thinking about her untimely demise.

"I' not going to kill you now," Cas said, obviously trying to be comforting. It wasn't working.

"You can read my mind?"

"Yes."

"Well isn't that great."

"Most object to it. I'm glad you find it acceptable."

Ruby rolled her eyes. The angel had much to learn.

"Let's go."

XXX

Sam shifted position, wincing as his bruised ribs tightened.

"We need to get out of here," Dean observed.

"No shit Sherlock."

"You got anything sharp?"

Sam shook his aching head. "Gordon took everything off of both of us."

Dean sighed in frustration. "Well fuck. We're basically relying on Ruby, who ran out on your ass." Dean perked up. "Cas."

"Excuse me?"

"Angel hotline Sammy," Dean said with a lopsided grin. "Castiel, we're in a… situation, and it would be nice if you could get over here. Please? Because I'm sorry about the whole Anna thing. Really."

Nothing happened.

XXX

"Dean's praying to me. He brought up Anna, not a good move."

Ruby didn't reply and was observing the thick metal door that they had to make their way through. Maybe there was a window.

"I'm going to check for a window," she said, but found that Cas was nowhere to be found. "Fucking angels."

XXX

"Dean."

Dean's head snapped up. "Cas."

They stared at each other.

Sam gave a subtle cough. "Could you possibly get us out of here? You know when you're done."

"What?" Dean said, looking down too quickly. "Done with what?"

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Of course," Cas said and produced an elaborate looking knife to cut through their bonds.

There was a crash above them and Ruby landed in a crouch surrounded by a shower of glass. She glared at Cas. "You could have zapped me in here."

"You told me never to do it again."

"Yes, but I had to break a window."

"We noticed," Sam said.

She glared at him. "What are you all trussed up for?"

Sam blushed under the blood covering much of his face. "Interrogation."

She raised her eyebrows. "Let's get out of here, before he gets back."

"Agreed," Dean said, rubbing where his wrists had been bound.

Cas brushed his hand against Sam's face. Sam gave him a strange look. "What are you doing?"

"You're welcome."

Sam's face returned to normal, with no swelling or stray blood. "Uh… Thanks," Sam said sheepishly, touching his face gingerly.

XXX

Gordon pushed the heavy door open to reveal an empty warehouse where his captives had been minutes before.

Glaring at the empty space, he slammed his open palm against the door in frustration.

"This isn't over," he promised to the open air. "I'll be on your tail forever."

**Author's Note:** This was kind of a filler chapter. Plot will resume in chapter thirteen. Also, fair warning: thirteen is when this fully grows into its "angst" category. There will be blood.

_Next Time…_

_ "Not. Not yet, anyway. An eye for an eye. You killed my sister. I'll kill your brother."_


	13. Chapter 13

_ Previously…_

_ "But Lilith…"_

_ "Lilith is an imbecile and will end up dead before this even starts."_

_A few days later_

_Not another goddamn demon with a fucking vendetta._

It seemed as though he, Sam Winchester, was quickly becoming the most wanted in the demon world. What was wrong with Dean? He was a perfectly healthy, blamable Winchester, but no, they all wanted Sam's head on a pike. Dean was just a very pleasant bonus.

That didn't mean he didn't get stuck in these kinds of situations. He was pinned to the ground, just the same as Sam and Ruby.

He couldn't remember if he'd already fought this demon or if this was a whole new vendetta.

"Who did I kill this time?" He asked tiredly.

"My sister."

"Who was that?"

"Two days ago? In Baltimore?"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

He got a solid fist in the stomach for that one.

"She was honorable. And you killed her."

"Right, an honorable demon."

"I don't see you complaining about this one."

Sam's eyes slid to where Ruby was pinned under a much larger demon. "She's different."

"If only you knew."

"What is it with you demons and playing with your food? Are you going to kill me or not?"

"Not. Not yet, anyway. An eye for an eye. You killed my sister. I'll kill your brother."

Sam felt his stomach flutter in fear.

"Not only that, but there will be quite a bit of pain before that."

XXX

"Ruby, darling. What are these rumors I've been hearing?"

Ruby's eyes widened. She was strapped to a table with a demon facing her. It was in the body of a young blond woman who was gorgeous in a clean, very professional way.

And Ruby recognized her.

"I hear you may be going against our contract. You may be having lingering feelings toward this boy?" She pulled out a long, wicked looking knife. "I think I'll start with you. Dean can wait a little bit longer, after all, we have all the time in the world. Well," her eyes glinted evilly. "_I_ do."

XXX

Sam gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the vengeful demon staring at him with a satisfied grin on his face.

And trying to ignore the screams and small whimpers coming from the next room.

"And that's just your part time fuck-buddy," the demon said cheerfully. "Just wait until she starts on your brother. And you'll be right there to watch it all. They'll both die. And then once you've been broken completely, so will you."

"I didn't fight any demons in Baltimore," Sam said.

The demon gave him a lopsided grin. "No, you didn't."

"What's the point of this? If not revenge?"

"Lilith has her reasons. But you'll never know them."

XXX

Ruby was sure she had been bled three times over by this point, but apparently there was enough blood left in her body for more.

"You've grown attached," Lilith said in a falsely sympathetic voice, as she lazily dragged the knife across Ruby's thigh in a deep gash. "I get that, I really do." She began to knead the cut, scraping her perfectly manicured nails along the inside, digging nearly to the bone. Ruby held back a scream, but a pathetic whimper escaped. "He _is_ very pretty. I would approve if he weren't, well pretty much everything he is. So, while you've been gaining these unfamiliar feelings toward a certain Winchester," she continued. She had reached the bone in Ruby's leg and was now scratching a design into it with the knife. "What do you think he's been feeling?" She smiled at her handiwork and gestured to show Ruby where she had scraped _Ruby & Sam_ in her thigh bone. "Do you think he reciprocates it?"

"I don't love him," Ruby pushed out of her protesting lungs.

"That must have been painful to say. Therefore it must have been important. Unfortunately, I missed it. Could you repeat that?" Lilith mocked as she put the knife down on a side table. She examined her tools and selected a small flask, which she held like it was acid.

Ruby didn't bother repeating herself and braced for the pain.

"No?" Lilith asked. "You won't say it again?" She shrugged and poured the contents into the fresh wound.

Ruby let out a heart wrenching scream as the holy water filled the gash all the way to the bone, finding its way inside it from the etchings made by Lilith's knife. The burning rushed through her blood stream, down her leg like fire and all the way to her heart. It continued to cycle through her body for five minutes until it had burned out, still leaving an ache in all her muscles.

Lilith smiled complacently as she watched Ruby contort with the pain. "How long did it take for him to sleep with you?"

Ruby gritted her teeth, sure that if she opened her mouth she would cry out.

"I asked a question," Lilith said coldly, picking up the knife and rinsing it of Ruby's blood in the jar of holy water.

"Five months," Ruby gasped out.

"Dear, have you thought that maybe he's just not that into you?"

Ruby didn't answer.

"I think we're done here for now," Lilith said. "Don't worry though. I'll be back soon." She gave a cheery wink to Ruby and sauntered out of the room.

XXX

This was five hundred times worse. He wasn't just hearing the screams, he saw exactly what was done to create them. And, as the demon had so eloquently put it, this was his own flesh and blood, instead of his 'part time fuck buddy'.

"Dean. Sam. I feel like you two haven't been communicating."

Neither of them spoke.

"See? The silent treatment." She selected a thin sewing needle from an array of tools and examined it carefully before inserting it fully into Dean's upper arm.

Dean nearly passed out. From as early as Sam could remember, Dean had always had a thing about needles. Even when it was a necessary anesthetic for a surgery of some sort, he had vehemently refused, preferring to drown the pain in alcohol. He avoided vaccinations like the plague.

It seemed that he hadn't over come that just yet. How Lilith knew about this irrational phobia, Sam had no idea.

He writhed as she picked out another, slightly thicker needle and jabbed his arm with it, right next to the other one.

"Any reason you're turning my brother into a human pincushion?" Sam asked in an attempt to distract her. It semi succeeded.

Without looking away from her task she answered him. "To get to you Sammy."

"It's Sam."

"I know. But as I was saying earlier," she picked up a scalpel, and Sam looked away before he could see what she did next. "You haven't been communicating. Like Dean, let's see what haven't you been telling Sam?"

Dean kept his mouth resolutely shut. He hadn't made a sound yet and he'd be damned if he gave her that satisfaction.

"Nothing? Quite the honest Abe here." She turned to Sam, casually holding the still bloody scalpel. "What about you Sammy? What haven't you been telling your brother?"

Sam didn't answer.

"I can't help you unless you help yourself," she said with a shrug and began to cut away at Dean again. "Or help Dean."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Shall I start with the dirty things you do in the dark?"

Sam exhaled. "Dean doesn't need to know about my sex life."

"Just a certain part of it. Like who you've recently been screwing?" She coughed delicately, a cough that sounded vaguely like a familiar name.

Dean glared at Sam, with some hurt in his eyes and the smallest amount of loathing. Mostly disbelief. "You've been screwing a demon? You've been banging Ruby?"

Sam sighed. "Looks like the cat's out of the bag."

"Dude, when we get out of this, we are discussing the levels of wrong that is."

"Why wait?" Lilith said. She chose a larger, crooked looking knife and began to carve an intricate design into his chest. It looked vaguely like an anti-possession charm. "I can think of a few. First off, she's an evil bitch. Would you agree Dean?" Dean didn't respond. Lilith didn't push it and simply continued, elaborating on her design. "Second, she's, well, she's evil. Thirdly, she's a demon. Fourth, she's a whore, and obviously not good enough for your brother. Also a terrible influence I might add. But that's enough about Sam's dirty little sexual secret. How about you Dean? Screwing any supernatural beings lately?"

Dean glared at her. She awaited his answer, carving deeper into his sternum.

"An angel," he gasped out.

"Yeah, how was that?"

"Divine," Dean said, trying to ignore the alarming amount of blood he was losing.

"You think you're so hilarious don't you? While that may be blasphemous, it isn't exactly what I've been talking about. Any other angels in your thoughts recently?"

Dean glared at her. Could she read minds or something?

"Don't even think about calling him either. Or I will carve out your tongue. besides this place is covered in Enochian symbols. You're feathered savior won't be coming." She leaned in close to Dean's ear, and said huskily. "Darling, we're alone."

"Fuck yourself," Dean said.

"Fine, have it your way. I've already used my best tricks on Ruby earlier, but I'm going to have to go all out for you, and of course, it will take a long time. You'll get your money's worth."

XXX

Thirty grueling minutes later, and they were all splattered in Dean's blood and every instrument on Lilith's table had been used.

Dean looked uncomfortably close to death.

"How was that?" Lilith asked, turning all her focus to Sam. "Enjoy the show?"

"What's your point? Why me? I didn't kill your third cousin once removed did I?"

"Actually you did, but I forgive you for that, I never liked him anyway."

"Then why? Why are you killing them?"

"You don't get it yet Sam. It's all part of the plan. Your brother will have to die. It's destiny."

"Fuck destiny."

"Fair enough, but I'm having so much fun. Let's continue shall we?" She turned her back to Sam.

He used that instant to break free of his now weakened bonds. He'd spent the last hour rubbing them against the chair he was in and had finally broken them successfully. He jumped and tackled her. She spun away from him and ran out of the room as fast as her six inch heels would carry her. Sam let her go and attended to his brother.

"Knew you'd pull something out of your ass Sammy," Dean said with a weak smile. He leaned heavily on Sam, who by now was drenched in his blood.

"We need to bandage this."

"We don't have enough cloth for all of this. We need an ambulance."

"I'll find the address. You hold this to your chest." Sam pulled off his shirt and handed it to his brother. He tore the remainder of Dean's own shirt into strips and used them and the scalpel to tie a makeshift tourniquet above the thick wound on his arm. "That should stop most of the major bleeding. I'm going to take care of the other demons."

XXX

Sam had found the pile of weapons that they had confiscated off of him, including the knife. He picked it up and began to hunt the demons throughout the building.

It was an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere. It probably used to be a ranch. Sam stalked through all the rooms prepared to fight anything that came out of one of them.

Hearing muffled footsteps, he ducked into a doorway and waited.

Soon a single demon walked past, looking completely relaxed. When the demon, in the body of a very large biker, had come parallel to where Sam hid, Sam lunged out of the doorway and sank the knife deep into the biker demon's throat. He watched vindictively as the life sparked out of the demon's eyes, and removing the knife, resumed his hunting.

He came across another demon patrolling the halls, and quickly took him out. He lacked the element of surprise, but only suffered a long gash down his arm.

Grimacing at the wound, and mourning the fact that he had given his shirt to Dean, he peeked into another room, which had once been the kitchen. The remaining two demons who were not Lilith were inside, laughing.

"Can you imagine his face?" One of them said. "I would pay money to see that."

"The Winchesters put down like the mongrel scum they are."

"You've really got to respect Lilith's procedure though. It works almost perfectly. She's a master at simultaneously mentally breaking them down."

"The things she knows."

Sam silently snuck into the room, but the door betrayed him at the last moment and creaked slightly. Sam froze and the demons whirled around to find him half inside the room.

"Look what we have here," one said with a lazy grin.

"All alone," the other chimed in.

They began to circle Sam like wolves. Or vultures.

Sam held the knife in front of him in a defensive position. "Come and get me bastards."

They pounced on him at the same time. Sam reached out the knife and caught one in the stomach with it, while slamming his forearm into the windpipe of the other one, leaving both bent over.

The one with the knife wound died slowly with a look of shock on his face. The other howled at Sam in rage and came at him slashing, sometimes making contact through Sam's defenses and leaving thin cuts across his chest and arms. Sam was barely holding him back. The demon lunged forward violently and managed to pierce straight through Sam's shoulder. Sam grunted with pain, but used the demon's loss of a weapon and proximity to stab him through the chest, piercing his heart.

Sam pulled out the demon's knife from his shoulder and nearly passed out as the blood began to gush freely. Every one of them was going to die of blood loss. He stumbled toward the nearest fallen demon and tore bits of fabric from his shirt, trying haphazardly to patch the gaping wound in his shoulder.

Without any warning a violent pain erupted through him starting in his lower back. He fell forward and felt whatever intrusion had been in there leave. He tried to roll over to face whoever had stabbed him in the back, but he couldn't move. His vision was darkening.

A foot pushed at his shoulder rolling him on his back. The pain was fading and he could barely make out the face swimming above him.

It was Lilith, still holding the blade that had pierced his spine.

He coughed harshly and felt something warm bubble from his throat.

The last thing he heard before everything faded was Lilith's voice.

"See you soon Sammy."

**Author's Note:** Is it a bad sign that I enjoyed writing this chapter? Gah, I'm such a sadist. Bear with me please. I assume, since you all watch Supernatural, that you enjoy heartbreak threaded with humor. That's the tone I'm going for with this. Thanks for reading this, it soothes my sensitive ego, which in turn produces genius. (HA, if only)

_Next time…_

_ "To put it bluntly. I want your ass in hell."_


	14. Chapter 14

_ Previously…_

_ The last thing he heard before everything faded was Lilith's voice._

_ "See you soon Sammy."_

Dean was delirious.

He had lost far too much blood to think straight, but he knew he was dying.

The makeshift bandages and tourniquet that Sam had made would not hold up against the abuse that Dean had taken.

He was so delirious in fact that he was sure he was imagining it as Lilith reentered, dragging a slumped over Sam. He blinked multiple times, trying to erase the blood that covered Sam's body. But it didn't leave.

"No," he said quietly.

"Yes," Lilith replied. "Little Sammy Winchester is dead. You'll be pleased to know he took out four of my people before I killed him. You would have been proud."

"You filthy bitch," Dean yelled. He tried to lunge at her but barely stood before the blood loss went to his brain and he had to grab the table for support. Nausea came over him in waves.

"Face it Dean, your brother is dead, you'll be dead soon. You're fucked."

Dean tried not to throw up.

"Unless we make a little deal."

"Anything," Dean said.

"I didn't expect you to accept so readily. Though, this is your brother we're talking about. The one who you would do anything for."

"Get on with it."

"Sam's life for your own."

"I'll do it. I'm a dead man anyway."

"Sorry, I must have worded that wrong. I mean, you're going to die anyway, obviously. You could die, and join your brother, most probably in heaven you righteous assholes. Or you could bring your brother back. You still die in a few minutes, as you would anyway, but Sam gets to live on."

"You want my soul?" Dean asked.

"To put it bluntly. I want your ass in hell. And you want your brother to live a happy full life. It's a fair deal."

"I'll do it."

"I knew you would. Time to seal the deal before you keel over."

She kissed his bloody lips. When she pulled away, her own lips were covered in his blood. She licked it lasciviously. "See you in hell, Dean." With a smirk, she disappeared.

Sam sat bolt upright with a deep inhalation. Confusedly he felt his back, where the blood was still crusted but there was no wound.

"Sammy," Dean said weakly, slumped against the table.

Sam forgot all about his absent wound and rushed to his brother's side. "God Dean, I'm so sorry."

"Listen Sammy…" He gripped Sam's arm, but Sam didn't meet his eyes, shaking him off gently so he could retie the bandage that was slipping dangerously.

"I'm going to untie Ruby and hot wire a car. We're getting you to the ER."

"Sammy…"

"Shut up Dean, I'm trying to save you here."

"This is important."

"What is it?"

"I just want you to know that I would do anything for you."

"I know Dean, and I would do anything for you. Which is why I'm trying to save your ass."

Dean gave a ghost of his usual grin. "My ass is screwed Sam."

"Don't talk like that. We're getting you to the hospital. I couldn't get a hold of an ambulance, so we're driving. And fast."

Dean stopped arguing. He'd said the important thing.

XXX

Sam was trying to arrange the two badly injured people in the car he'd just hotwired, without causing them too much pain. It was a small blue sedan.

"Hold this," he ordered Ruby, while tying off the bandage on her leg. "Try and keep as much pressure as you can on Dean's as well."

"What about your shoulder?" She asked.

"It'll be fine. I'm the least injured here. I'm driving."

He was feeling woozy with blood loss, but at least he wasn't dying.

XXX

The nearest town was Portland Maine, which they found after at least an hour of driving. Sam was on the verge of passing out and was seriously worrying about Dean.

"Does he still have a pulse?" He asked Ruby, who patiently checked for Dean's pulse again, though this was the hundredth time.

"It's weak, but it's there."

"Good," Sam said, not very reassured.

"Hospital," Ruby pointed and Sam pulled into the parking lot at a dangerous speed.

"Come on let's get him inside."

Practically carrying Dean, and with Ruby leaning on him like a human crutch, they barely made it through the automatic doors before collapsing.

XXX

Sam came to surrounded by white. He sat up.

"Calm down," he heard a soothing voice say. "You're still suffering from a lot of blood loss. Luckily we could find a transfusion for you."

"Dean," was all he managed to get out.

"You're name's Dean?"

Sam shook his head. "My brother."

"He's in a critical condition. But we have the best working on it. Just lie back down and stay calm, okay?" She was young and pretty with an open face and wide blue eyes. He lay down again. She smiled, showing perfectly straight white teeth. "Good. I'm Doctor Bartlet."

"Like the pear," Sam said dazedly.

She smiled again. "Just like the pear. You comfortable?"

He nodded. The pain in his shoulder was numbed now and he mostly felt tired and worried.

"Good. We have some things to talk about."

He felt more worried and less comfortable. "Like what?"

"The amount of blood you and the other woman with you lost was critical, but you pulled through much more easily than your brother. The amount of blood he has lost could, best case, send him into an irreversible coma. We managed to find transfusions for you easily enough, and she didn't even need them, but your brother has a very rare blood type."

This was not sounding good.

"AB negative. And we're having trouble finding a transfusion."

"I'll give him some of mine," Sam said immediately.

"You can't. First of all you've lost too much blood as it is. Also you have a different blood type."

"Then you've got to find something. _Any_thing."

"Like I said, we have our best people working on it."

"That's doctors' code for it's all going to hell. I want to see him." Sam tried to stand again, but Doctor Bartlet pushed down on his good shoulder.

"You can't yet. He isn't stable."

"If he dies in there and I can't say goodbye…" Sam choked off, unable to finish the sentence. He resorted to his last defense. The puppy eyes.

The doctor sighed and let go of his shoulder. "Just wait until we can't do anything more."

"Please. You said an irreversible coma. I need to see him before that happens."

She took in the stubborn set of his jaw. "You're just going to leave the second I turn my back aren't you?"

Sam tried to look innocent.

She sighed again. "Follow me."

XXX

Dean looked like death. Literally no color was left in his skin tone. He opened his eyes, which looked too vibrant of a green to be in such a pale face. He grinned weakly. "Sammy."

"Dean. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Yes it is. For some reason that demon was after me."

"Fine maybe it was your fault. Bitch."

"Jerk," Sam said with a small smile at the corner of his lips.

"Sammy, you were right about one thing. That demon bitch was after you for a reason and she's still out there. She won't give up that easily. You need to look out for yourself. Promise me."

"Of course Dean," Sam said, a little taken aback by the urgency of the statement.

Ruby silently entered the room. She looked a little better than Sam, and much better than Dean.

"You," Dean said, and gestured her over. Awkwardly, she sat down on the bed next to Sam. "You take care of my brother, you hear?"

"Will do."

"And you," he turned his focus back to Sam. "Take care of my baby."

Sam nodded, unable to speak.

"And I'm okay with you screwing him by the way," he said to Ruby.

Sam and Ruby blushed, which made Dean chuckle, which turned into a cough. Blood splattered out of his mouth.

He was suddenly surrounded by a herd of doctors switching his IV bag and checking various vital signs.

"His heart beat is getting weaker!" One shouted, observing the machinery. "Get me iron and saline, now."

"Sammy," Dean called with the last of his breath. "I meant it. I'd do anything for you."

They were ushered out of the room, but as Sam took one last look behind him at the bed, he knew. That would be the last time he talked with his brother.

XXX

"Go back to the motel," Sam said. "I have something to do."

Ruby gave him a worried look, but left him to it.

He unlocked the recently recovered Impala and tore out of the hospital parking lot. Ruby sighed and took the stolen sedan to find a motel.

XXX

The underworld had a series of bars that were the kind of bar that no one, not even the toughest of humans would enter. Every once in a while, some tough guy would enter, but leave after about one beer.

Every monster and demon in the room would stare at them dangerously until they left.

So when Sam Winchester entered, it was no different. They could all smell the humanity rolling off of him and glared. He wasn't the usual human customer. He wasn't dressed in all leather or sporting a Mohawk. But he did radiate confidence and hatred. A hatred so intense that it almost made some flinch.

With a condescending glare to all of the patrons until they, one by one, looked away, he strolled over to the bar and ordered a whiskey.

"And leave the bottle," he added.

Most of the demons and monsters in there by now realized that this man was a hunter and a very good one at that. The ones that had realized this were now avoiding eye contact, but there were the stupid ones that glared at him, obviously conversing in hushed tones what they were going to do about him.

The hunter smirked, like he knew they were talking about him and continued drinking.

Eventually, after what must have been Sam's sixth shot of whiskey, a group of about five demons decided it was time to act.

One, the leader, tapped his shoulder.

Sam turned to face him. His smirk widened. "I was hoping it would be you."

"Your kind don't belong here," the demon snarled.

"I know," Sam agreed. "Now, what are you going to do about it?"

It was obviously a taunt and the demon, as well as his four friends took it. They all lunged for him and he met their attacks willingly with a flurry of blows.

A few other monsters, equally stupid and gaining confidence in numbers began to join the fray.

The hunter just laughed viciously and took them all.

After a brief but violent struggle, they had him restrained against the bar.

His eye was swelling and blood was trickling out of his mouth and out from under the bandage on his shoulder, but he just continued laughing.

The demon to start it all punched him solidly in the gut. Sam bent over, coughing violently but continued laughing.

The demon frowned and hit him across the face, splitting his lip wider. Sam smiled, revealing bloodstained teeth.

He began raining blow after blow on the hunter, but it seemed to have no mental effect on him.

"You want to know a secret?" Sam finally whispered to his beater.

"What?" The demon sneered.

"I don't care anymore."

In the pause after that statement, the door crashed open and everyone looked to see who entered.

"Let him go."

"But he started it."

"I said let him go."

Grumbling, the crowd dispersed and went back to their drinks. Sam slumped to the floor, his manic grin now gone.

"I didn't want saving, Ruby."

"Yeah, well you got it anyway. C'mon," she said heaving him up. "Let's get you cleaned up."

XXX

He had been in the shower for over two hours and Ruby was getting worried.

Just as she was about to break the door down and make sure he hadn't drowned in there, the water stopped.

She hurriedly sat down on the bed, trying to look like she didn't care.

The door opened and a battered, but clean Sam walked out, followed by a cloud of steam.

He sat down next to Ruby on the bed.

They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity.

Sam finally broke that silence.

"I've been thinking." His voice cracked.

"Yeah?"

"I couldn't help. You both were getting tortured by demons, who I'm supposed to have this ability to kill with my mind right, but I couldn't do it. I didn't have the power or focus to control it. It's my fault Dean died."

Ruby just listened.

"I was helpless. And… and I've decided that I don't want to be helpless any more. I don't want to have to stand aside as the people I love die."

He turned to face her completely, looking her in the eyes for the first time in the conversation. "I need your help. I need you to teach me how to do this. And," he swallowed before continuing. "I'm going to need your blood."

**Author's Note:** Gah! Again I'm such a sadist. Those last couple scenes were fun to write, not so much the death part. But not to fear, the next chapter is more fun, if still serious, and heavily features our favorite feathered friend…

_Next time…_

"_And since heaven won't back me up, I need you to."_


	15. Chapter 15

_Previously…_

_ That would be the last time he talked with his brother._

_ And…_

_ "I need your help. I need you to teach me how to do this. And," he swallowed before continuing. "I'm going to need your blood."_

_One month later_

"Better," Ruby said, observing the host of the demon Sam had just killed. "You might actually be able to do that in action now. And the host actually survived. You're improving frighteningly fast."

"It's all thanks to you," he said with a smirk. He still hadn't genuinely smiled or laughed. He only smirked or laughed sardonically. He was still broken, and the slow healing process was driving Ruby insane.

"Let's get something to eat to celebrate," she suggested.

He nodded. "I'm starved."

XXX

Castiel turned to face the small red head. "You came."

"Of course I came. What do you need?"

Castiel sighed deeply. "Anna, what did it feel like to rebel?"

"What do you mean?"

"When did you decide to rebel? What changed your mind?"

"It all just added up. It wasn't a specific moment." She noticed Cas sag with a big exhalation. "Castiel, what is it?"

"I'm growing impatient with Heaven. They have issued orders, but they are not to take effect for too long."

"You mean Dean."

"He needs to be saved before it is too late." Castiel's eyes roiled with a righteous storm. "The host of heaven is taking too long to assemble and arguments continue. Many do not think he is worth it."

"You do."

"He is… unique. Not only for his part in the plan, but if it were not for him, I would not be considering this. You and he both taught me that rebellion can be forgiven and free will is preferable."

"You want to do this yourself? Without the host?"

"He needs to be saved Anna. And since heaven won't back me up, I need you to."

Anna exhaled. "This mean's I'll need to find my Grace. I'm not doing this as a human."

"I realize the sacrifice it requires. You do not need to follow me."

"Castiel, you and I both care about him. And I would follow you to hell and back."

"Good. That is exactly where we are going."

XXX

"Castiel," Uriel called out. "Your troops have assembled?"

Castiel nodded. "They are in movement as we speak. There is an issue on earth that I may require your assistance with, though."

"What is it?"

"It's Anna."

That got his interest. "What?"

"She plans to find her Grace. And Wings."

Uriel's hand flew to his throat and Castiel noted the movement. "That girl is far too stubborn for her own good. I will inform our superiors."

"You don't want to deal with her yourself?" Castiel asked, remembering the rivalry Anna and Uriel had always had and playing to his ambition.

Uriel straightened.

"Are you willing to do what is necessary Castiel? I know you were close."

Cas stiffened. "She was lost to me the day she decided to fall.

Uriel nodded, satisfied. "Then we shall deal with her."

XXX

They arrived on earth in their vessels with a slight swish of wind surrounding them as they landed, folding their wings into invisibility.

"Where do we find her?" Uriel asked.

"I'm not sure. She will go looking for her wings. Is it not prudent to start there?"

"It seems like a good idea, but Castiel, tell me again, and truthfully. Are you willing to do the necessary task? You will not betray me and you will, if it is required of you, kill Anna?"

Castiel looked up at him with grave blue eyes. "Brother. I will do whatever is necessary and right."

Uriel stared straight into his soul.

Castiel had put as much earnestness into that statement as he could, fully believing that he was right.

Uriel nodded. "I believe you brother. We shall go where her wings are hidden."

They disappeared again with another swishing wind.

XXX

There are a few points in our world where two or more dimensions are closely pressed together so that there is only a thin membrane between them. These spots are usually high in the sky, so people rarely find them unless it happens to be by airplane. Like Amelia Earheart.

One such place is at the very top of the Empire state building. The building of which was chartered by an angel who gave the funds and then disappeared without a trace. This spot is where not two, but five dimensions meet, so it was built for the convenience of angels.

Another is at the top of the leaning tower of Piza, which began to lean when they realized it was in the wrong spot.

Where Cas and Uriel ended up was San Francisco. The Golden Gate Bridge. On one of the supporting turrets.

Wind whipped around them, swirling Castiel's trench coat about him.

"Here?" Castiel shouted above the wind.

"Yes. It is one of the lesser used gateways. Do you think she'll be able to find it?"

"Yes," Castiel said. He pressed through the thin wall between the dimensions and entered the other one, now existing partially in both dimensions.

It was white, and cool and sterile. It appeared to be a room, but Castiel could not find the walls, ceiling or the floor. Anna's gorgeous white and gray wings hovered in the middle. Uriel appeared next to him.

"This is one of the many small untouched dimensions that we use. This one houses Anna's wings."

"And you have her Grace," Castiel observed.

Once again, Uriel's hand flew to his throat. "I keep it safe."

"It fell with her. It should have been left where it fell, that is how it has always been with the fallen. Are you even allowed to have that?"

"Heaven did not order against it."

Castiel nodded in understanding. "You have made me feel much better for what I am about to do."

Uriel looked only a little surprised. "Castiel, you are still young. You do not understand the magnitude of what you are doing."

Castiel drew his knife. "I do Uriel." He touched Anna's wings gently storing them with his own temporarily. "I do not, however wish to fight you. Give me her Grace."

"For that, you must fight me."

They circled each other like cats before Castiel jabbed forward with his knife, barely missing Uriel's throat as he dodged and thrust his own knife at Castiel's back. Castiel rolled and dove through the gateway to end up hovering over San Francisco bay. His wings snapped open to stop him from tumbling into the water below. Uriel followed him out. Uriel's wings were much longer than Castiel's and a deep chocolate brown, much darker than the mottled white and brown of Castiel's own wings.

"This is folly Castiel. If I do not kill you, this is rebellion. You will be punished."

"I'm doing it for the right reasons Uriel. There doesn't have to be an apocalypse."

"There always had to be an apocalypse, Castiel. It is destiny."

"No. I can stop it."

"It's too late. You think saving Dean Winchester now will help?"

"It is better than waiting until he is no longer useful. Or even human."

"He doesn't need to have a human soul for what is required of him."

"It is the right thing to do Uriel. I believe that."

He flew at Uriel and they clashed midair, falling and tumbling toward the bay as they grappled for control of the situation. Before they hit water, they broke apart and swooped away only to come together and battle again, falling once more.

Castiel stretched his arm out to the small blue pendant that hung about Uriel's neck. Seeing an opening, Uriel dug his blade into Castiel's side just as Castiel closed his fingers around the pendent. Uriel let him go and Castiel, barely containing a cry of pain, plummeted the remaining hundred yards and crashed into the water below.

It was cold and his wings only weighed him down. He folded them willing them to disappear, but he still sank. His side was burning where the angel's blade had pierced him. It wasn't a fatal wound, but it would take hours to heal fully.

Castiel mustered the last of his strength and focused on the place Anna said she would meet him.

XXX

Anna was waiting just outside Seattle city limits in her car, with the heat on full blast. She had never really liked rain, even as an angel when flying through grey storm clouds.

She leaned forward to turn the heat up even more and found a very wet, very bloody Cas sitting in her passenger seat. She jerked back in shock, but soon saw the injury.

"Castiel, what happened?"

"Uriel. He had your Grace. Had to fight him."

"That bastard. That is against protocol. You leave another angel's Grace alone even after they've fallen."

"I know. Here." He handed the blue pendent that was now glowing in her presence. "I have your wings as well."

Anna took it hesitantly. "There is no going back after this."

Castiel shook his head. "You do not have to give up humanity for me Anna. I understand."

Anna set her jaw. "Cas, you rebelled to get these back. And while Humans have more emotions, there are a few things that angels feel much more strongly. Like loyalty and faith. I can live with that. Besides," she said with a slight smile. "The wings are pretty cool."

"Only if you're sure."

Anna nodded resolutely and stepped outside of the car. She was drenched in seconds. She held the pendent in front of her then suddenly threw it on the ground. It smashed and the blue glow burst toward her, enveloping her eyes in an intense blue light.

The light faded but still left Anna's eyes brighter than before.

"Your wings," Castiel said, drawing them out and offering them to her. They drew to her as if magnetized.

She stretched them to their full length. It made an impressive sight. Anna, with her full power back, Grace intact and her beautiful wings on display. It nearly took Castiel's breath away.

"Now," she said, folding her wings away from sight. "Are we going to Hell or not?"

XXX

The road to Hell is not paved with good intentions. It's actually paved with the remainder of broken souls.

Anna and Castiel were currently walking the road to hell and growing more and more uncomfortable by the second.

Neither of them belonged there. They were so very wrong.

"I'm right here," Anna reassured him as Cas faltered before the gates of Hell.

"I know."

She took his hand they moved with the throng of the dead through the gates.

XXX

"_Anna, Castiel. My little rebels_."

Castiel froze. He recognized that voice. He looked around but saw no one, only a thick wooden door to his left.

He turned to Anna. "Do you hear him too?"

Anna nodded her eyes wide and mouth set in a grim line. "Keep walking."

"_All the rebellious angels are mine. I've seen what you've done. I'm proud_."

Castiel fought the urge to scream at him that he wasn't and never would be his angel.

The disembodied voice laughed. "_You've always been mine. Both of you_."

The voice began to fade as they moved past that certain prison.

They both let out a breath that they didn't know they'd been holding, and Castiel realized he was shaking.

Now that they had passed, Cas muttered to himself. "I'm not yours."

Anna squeezed his hand empathetically. "We're nothing like him."

"I know," Castiel said, but not with any conviction.

The roads were all winding, hot and never ending, like a rural road in the south in the dead of summer. But Castiel followed the small part of his mind where he could hear Dean's soul begging and screaming for some form of help. It was Castiel's job to be that help.

"This is it," he finally announced. "This is where he is."

He opened the rusted metal door to reveal an open space similar to the dimension Anna's wings had been in, only much darker and filled with the pain of a thousand souls.

The space seemed never ending and tortured souls were in every direction. Cas turned toward the loudest of the cries and found the one he was looking for.

"Dean."

The broken soul of Dean Winchester looked up at him with hollow eyes, barely a trace of the once vibrant green left in them. "Cas." His voice was rough and broken and wrenched at Castiel's heart. "Please," he said. "Please forgive me."

"We've got to get going," Anna said. "Demons after us."

Souls were representations of the true state of a person. Demons were so twisted, that their souls were bent and horrific things, and a wave of them were lurching after them.

Cas gripped Dean's shoulder tight, wrapped him close, and began to fly.

Dean was shaking. "Please forgive me," he kept saying over and over.

"There's nothing to forgive," Cas said seriously and flew toward earth, while Anna held off the demons below.

XXX

"So, Lilith," Sam said over a diner meal. "What can you tell me about her?"

"She's powerful. Extremely powerful. Much too powerful for you to even think about fighting now. And she used to be my boss."

"Really? What do demons do?"

"You know I was a crossroads demon. She holds all the deals made."

Sam nodded in understanding. "What would she want with me?"

"Your soul."

"That would make sense, but why didn't she offer a deal then? Dean _died_. I would have given up anything to bring him back. Why didn't she offer if that's what she wanted?"

Ruby shrugged. "I really don't know."

Sam's phone rang, and he frowned slightly as he saw the number calling.

"Who is it?" Ruby asked.

"I don't know. I don't recognize it." He answered. "Hello?"

"_Sammy?_"

Sam's stomach dropped sickeningly. The voice was cracked and rough from disuse, but painfully familiar.

"Dean?"

**Author's Note**: So… for this chapter, which I am really proud of by the way, I spent a lot of time writing it listening to _Waiting For the Rapture_ and _Falling Down_, by Oasis off the album Dig Out Your Soul. Also _The Good Rebel_, by Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds. All fantastic songs that heavily influenced this work, specifically this chapter. 'Til next time.

_Next time…_

_ "So am I. You're important Dean. Sam needs you. This world needs you."_


	16. Chapter 16

_Previously…_

_ Sam's stomach dropped sickeningly. The voice was cracked and rough from disuse, but painfully familiar._

_ "Dean?"_

Ruby's eyes snapped up from her meal to meet his intensely. He ignored her dark gaze.

"_Hey Sammy._"

Sam could hear the nervous grin in Dean's voice. He opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out. He swallowed and tried again with the same result.

"_You still there Sam?_"

"Yeah," Sam croaked out.

"_Good. I think I'm still at the cemetery._"

"What cemetery?"

"_The one I just dug myself out of a grave in._"

Sam felt his heart sink. "You've got a heart beat, right?"

There was a pause at the other end. "_Yeah._"

"Have you tried holy water?"

"_Sam, I just got resurrected, I didn't take any holy water with me to the grave. Or a silver knife,_" he said after a moment's hesitation.

"We'll find you," Sam promised. "Just stay where you are."

"_Okay. Bye Sam._"

"I'll see you soon."

Sam shut his phone still in shock. He stared down at it without blinking for a full minute, before looking up to Ruby.

"Trap?" She asked.

"Probably."

"We're going?"

Sam nodded, not fully trusting his voice. He couldn't bear to have his hopes up that after weeks, after praying and wishing and interrogating, even offering his soul, Dean had come back.

XXX

Dean was cold, muddy, wet, alone and confused. And it was raining.

The pay phone booth next to him was, for some reason, in the center of the cemetery had found himself in after digging for what seemed like hours through hard cold mud. He examined his fingers which, where they weren't encrusted with mud, were red and raw. The cold rain beat mercilessly on them, making them ache.

Someone had spray painted the words _Phantom Phonebooth_ on the side of the pay phone sloppily. They had probably thought they were being funny, but the morbid humor just made Dean shiver. He had been a corpse less than an hour ago. He had been in the cold muddy ground.

Dean laughed to himself harshly. Of course, only his body had been in the ground. _He_ had been in Hell.

He immediately slammed that door in his mind before he could no longer resist the urge to curl up into a muddy ball and cry all the tears he hadn't been able to in Hell.

How long had he been gone? It had felt like a hundred years of torment and… Dean again slammed the door shut before he could think of what he had done.

_There is nothing to be forgiven_.

While he knew they weren't true the words gave him comfort. He frowned slightly.

He remembered a hand, burning with power, grasp his shoulder and pull him in close and a rough, familiar voice soothe him as he clung on and begged for forgiveness. Forgiveness that was never given.

"Hello Dean."

Dean turned and squinted through the rain to find Castiel, looking at him solemnly looking five hundred times drier than Dean was.

"Cas," he said in his still broken voice. "You… You came for me."

Cas nodded, still looking grave. "I did what I had to."

Dean had no words. Nothing could express his mass of confused feelings writhing beneath the surface. Gratitude, loss, pain. But most of all, he couldn't believe that this pure creature had taken a risk to rescue him. Cas had risked everything to save him. And he wasn't worth saving.

"I wasn't worth saving," he said. It was the best description of how he was feeling. The guilt and worthlessness stumbled against each other to be the main emotion occupying his attention.

"You have no idea what you mean to this world."

Dean's heart skipped a beat. "I'm nothing. And you, an angel, saved me."

Castiel's mouth quirked into an almost smile. "You always manage to state the obvious."

"I'm serious Cas."

Cas sobered. "So am I. You're important Dean. Sam needs you. This world needs you."

"But… after all that I've done…"

"Anyone is capable of redemption."

A flicker of a drunken memory flitted through Dean's mind. Cas had said that to him before. Just remembering how drunk he had been gave Dean the ghost of a headache.

But that one intense statement stuck in his memory.

"I really doubt that Cas. I did… I did so much. I can't forgive myself. I don't expect anyone else to."

"I do," Cas said quietly. "I forgive you Dean."

When Dean met his eyes, he saw nothing but loyalty and faith there.

It was the last straw.

Dean curled into a muddy ball and let the rain wash over him as his body wracked with dry sobs.

Cas remained standing, a constant guardian presence.

XXX

The rain had stopped. No tears were left. And Cas was gone.

Dean sat up. He had fallen asleep on the bench long before the rain had stopped. It was still dark out.

Dean winced as his back muscles protested. He stretched and was pleasantly surprised to find that the rain had washed away most of the mud. What remained crackled across his skin and crumbled to the ground.

A few yards away was a pile of still wet dirt. Dean winced and turned away from what was so recently his own grave.

His eyes locked with a hazel pair as he glanced away.

"Dean," Sam barely breathed out.

Dean gave the cocky grin he got when he was totally unsure. "Hey there Sammy."

He was greeted by a face full of holy water.

He blinked rapidly. "I deserved that."

"God Dean," Sam launched all six foot something of himself at Dean, winding him. "How? I tried _everything_."

Dean gasped for air, but returned Sam's bear hug with the same ferocity.

"It's okay Sam. I'm back."

XXX

"How is he?"

"He's sleeping now."

"Good. It's not every day you get resurrected."

Sam sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I still can't believe he's back."

Ruby bit her lip. Sam looked stressed and exhausted. "I know. Come on, you look terrible."

"I really don't care right now," he said pointedly, but sat down next to her on the bed anyway. "It's great, but so confusing."

Ruby nodded, absently tracing her hand along the inside of his thigh in a steady rhythm.

"I missed him so much. I really didn't think I could live without him."

Ruby nodded, remembering the first few weeks. Sam had done nothing but kill demons and then proceed to fuck her senseless. While that had been great, it hadn't really been Sam Winchester. This schedule also didn't leave any time for sleeping or eating. He had nearly passed out after three days of a diet only consisting of demon blood. It was powerful, but no substitute for food in the long run. And sleep had been rare and fleeting.

It became a little more stable, but some things never changed. He still consumed unhealthy amounts of blood and the sex was still mindless fucking, but eating became more habitual.

Sleep still didn't come.

"I barely functioned. And now he's back. And there's no way I can rely on him the way I used to, because he's suffered, and I can't force him to look after me in the same way anymore. He deserves better. He deserves a better life."

"I know your life isn't the best thing in the world, but I really don't think Dean could do anything else. He's as close to content as a hunter can get. He has his family." She moved her hand to his shoulder and began rubbing in a circular motion.

Sam sighed, leaning ever so slightly into her touch. "I don't know what he wants, I just want him to have what he deserves." He rubbed his temples as if trying to dispel a headache.

"Have you eaten since last night?"

Sam shook his head. "I'm not hungry."

"Like Hell. I'm sick of being your mother. You need to look after yourself."

"I'm fine," he said shortly.

"You're not. And you have a fight tonight."

Sam gritted his teeth. "Good."

"No, it's not good because we are currently in Maine, and we're supposed to be in Virginia."

"So I'll drive fast."

She continued to rub his shoulder increasing the pressure until he sighed contentedly.

"Need something before we hit the road?"

His darkened eyes met hers, pupils already dilated, giving her the only answer she needed.

She reached for her ever present knife from her boot and dragged it up her leg, waist and down her arm to reach her wrist. There she made the first small incision, barely feeling the pain.

Sam took the knife from her and licked the blood off of it. His pupils dilated a little more as he began to feel the power rush through him.

He placed his lips on the small cut and began to suck, flicking his tongue across it every few seconds to keep it from clotting.

It was too small of a cut so Sam, growling with impatience, pushed her back into the hard mattress and held up the knife loosely in his fingers. With his other hand he pushed her shirt up revealing her flat midriff. The knife glided slowly between her prominent hipbones, leaving a crimson trail behind it. Sam's tongue soon followed its path in a long, sensual lick.

Ruby shuddered, gripping the bed sheets hard, her knuckles turning white.

Sam's mouth continued dancing around the thin cut until it stopped bleeding and he left it, pink and bloodless.

"You're insatiable," Ruby gasped out as Sam returned his mouth to her abdomen and began tugging at her shirt with his teeth.

"Got a long drive ahead," he said and pulled her shirt over her head.

XXX

Dean woke up in the car, which he vaguely remembered getting into.

"Hey, looks like you're awake."

Dean groaned and waved his hand in the general direction of the voice in confirmation.

"Barely," a different voice continued.

Dean rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up in the Impala's backseat. He took a moment to relish the familiar feel of leather on his fingers as he gripped the back of the driver's seat.

For the first time in God knows how long, he felt at home.

"Where are we going?"

"Some country joint in Virginia," Ruby said, turning the map upside down, frowning. "We should be pretty close." She continued turning it and muttering obscenities about the countryside.

"I've just got one fight then I get paid, we get to the nearest town and talk."

"Talk?" The idea made Dean nervous.

"Yes. You were gone for over a month, Dean. We might have a few things to say to each other."

"Maybe." There was absolutely nothing Dean wanted to burden his brother with. He didn't need to hear about any of the things Dean did or had done to him. But Sam, open hearted girl that he was, would want Dean to get everything off his chest. And maybe talking to someone would be a good idea, but he couldn't ask Sam to deal with his baggage. He had enough of his own.

He might be able to fake it. Say he couldn't remember a thing.

He could hear a voice in his head that sounded a lot like Sam's telling him how unhealthy it was to keep things bottled up.

He told Sam's voice to shut up.

XXX

"We have to kill him."

Castiel's shoulders slumped. "I know. I wish there was another way."

"I do too," Anna said, placing a cool hand on his shoulder and squeezing gently. The contact was oddly comforting. "But he's the only one who knows."

"What if he's already informed our superiors?" Cas was unsure of how to feel about this. Uriel had tried to kill him. Had come very close to it, too. But he was still a brother, and it wasn't as if Heaven wouldn't find out about Dean soon. They kept tabs on him. But no one had to know it was Castiel. Nor did they have to know about Anna.

"Pray that he hasn't."

So Castiel prayed.

**Author's Note:** Shit is totally about to hit the fan. I'm excited. Thanks for reading and hopefully enjoying. Have an awesome life.

_Next time…_

_ "Hey, Cas, the next time I pray for you, please don't show up bleeding."_


	17. Chapter 17

_Previously…_

"_We have to kill him."_

"_I know. I wish there was another way."_

"You were right," Sam said, running a hand through his hair, which was still wet from his shower.

Ruby cocked an eyebrow. "I usually am, but how so in this case?"

"It was easier in combat. The adrenaline really helped."

She nodded. "How did Dean react?"

"I don't know. He hasn't really been making eye contact. But he hasn't been since he got back. Do you think the afterlife is that bad? Or is it something I did?"

"Trust me," she looked up at him and her eyes were suddenly thousands of years old. "The afterlife is that bad."

He nodded awkwardly. Then stopped. "You think he was in Hell?"

Ruby didn't answer.

"Talk, Ruby. Why do you think he was in Hell?"

"Just some signs," she responded vaguely. Sam glared at her until she continued. "He said some things he said the day he died about doing anything for you. And he was talking privately with Lilith, who happens to hold pretty much all the contracts made between humans and demons."

"He wasn't talking privately with Lilith, I was there the whole time…" He trailed off as the realization hit him like a bowling ball to the gut. "No… I wasn't. She attacked me. Stabbed me in the back. I woke up and she was gone." His eyes widened. "Ruby. I think I was dead."

"And she knew that Dean would do anything for you. Sell his soul even."

Sam sat down right where he was in the middle of the floor. "No. He wouldn't."

"Wouldn't he? It's just like him, sacrificing himself to save you."

"No," Sam said again. "No! He wouldn't leave me."

"He did, Sam."

"What would Lilith even _want_ with Dean's soul?"

"Both of your souls fetch a high price on the soul market. Getting a truly righteous soul downstairs is a big bonus. There's competition down there you know, like any business."

"You're not helping," Sam said through gritted teeth, his hands gripped tightly into fists.

"Sorry, you wanted to know."

"I'm going to need to talk to him about this. He's been going through all this alone. God. I'm a terrible brother. He's probably in pain right now, drinking his sorrows away."

XXX

"Casshhtial!" Dean called drunkenly from his bed. "I need someone to talk to!"

No one appeared.

"I know you're listening in," Dean called again.

Still no one appeared. Dean coughed and continued.

"Well, I still think you're listening, so I'm going to keep talking." He paused. "I remember everything about Hell. It was never ending pain, but they kept offering over and over to let it stop, if only I would give up everything I've lived for. I spent my whole life saving people, now I've spent the last bit of my death hurting them." His words were garbled together and barely distinguishable. "If I didn't deserve Hell before I went there, I do now."

Dean opened his eyes, which had slid shut during his rant. He could have sworn he felt Cas in the room with him, but he was alone.

Just him and his daily dose of hunter's helper.

His old friend.

XXX

He could feel the pain, and hear the darkened words.

The link was strong enough that Dean's pain was now Castiel's constant companion. He wished he could have been there in Dean's darkest hour, because he was too protective to ask Sam for help, he had turned to Cas, and Cas had let him down.

Cas shook his head to rid himself of the guilt. He was doing what was necessary. Dean's emotions, no matter how dark, could not factor into it. They had almost gotten him killed after all.

Dean's desperate and slurred call of his name distracted Castiel for a precious second.

In that one second, Uriel had taken his opening, seeing Cas distracted and plunged his knife into Castiel's side for the second time.

Castiel had let out the scream of an angel, the pure sound of his Grace escaping and shattering the nearby windows of a high rise they were swooping by. Cas plummeted toward the busy New York street, nearly hitting a taxi before snapping his wings open. With a burst of energy, he swung upwards, raising his knife high. Back arched, he slashed at Uriel's undefended stomach, digging the blade hilt deep.

Reality swirled around them surrounded by Uriel's Grace dying in a bright light.

They stopped and Castiel let Uriel's body slide off the knife to land with a soft thud to the pine needle covered ground, with one final dying burst of light, Uriel lay in the middle of an evergreen forest the barest afterimage of his wings spread behind him.

Clutching his side, Cas folded his own wings out of respect for the fallen soldier and closed his eyes briefly.

He opened them and his vision, usually as clear as a raptor's, began to swim dangerously. He began to fall to the side, and he concentrated the last of his effort to transport himself and he landed heavily on filthy carpet instead of soft pine needles.

Distantly he heard glass shatter and an expletive before passing into the dreamless semi-coma of an angel trying to heal.

XXX

Dean stared at the body now lying on his motel room floor. He stared at the shattered bottle at his bedside and at his hand oozing blood slowly.

"Holy shit," he muttered again.

Carefully he rolled the body over, though he already knew who it was.

"Hey, Cas, the next time I pray for you, please don't show up bleeding."

He got no response, instead Castiel's face was completely impassive, and unconscious.

Dean dragged Castiel's dead weight to the bed and pulled him onto it. After considering for a while, he lay down next to him, nothing touching, just the angel lying completely still on his back and Dean attempting to keep as still, but unable to sleep without moving.

After shifting for fifteen minutes, Dean's breathing evened and he fell asleep.

XXX

On some subconscious level, Cas was aware of Dean next to him the whole time. He felt Dean shifting every few minutes, until he finally fell asleep on his stomach, face drooling onto the pillow.

Then he could feel the dreams.

Angels don't dream. Never. But they can see others dreams like they can read other's minds. So Castiel shared Dean's dreams for the night.

XXX

Dean woke up to find two very bright blue eyes staring into his.

"Gah!" He exclaimed, flailing and nearly rolling backwards off the bed.

"Thank you," Cas said when Dean's heart regained it's normal tempo.

"For?" He asked warily. "Did I do anything I'll regret?"

Cas quirked an eyebrow. "You dreamed."

"What did I dream?"

"Well, it appears that you were in the oval office, and thirty monkeys were your assistants. They called you the 'Big Banana'."

"You speak monkey?" Dean asked incredulously. He was still drunk enough to find that hilarious.

"Most dialects. But Dean, your subconscious could have all the meaning."

"So I must have an inferiority complex because I rule the monkeys, while also being superior to the other monkeys that symbolize the other fighters out there?"

Cas gave him a confused look and cocked his head to the side a quarter inch. "No, I was just going to say I find it a little strange that you would think of yourself as the Big Banana."

Dean snorted out a laugh, the remnants of whiskey in his bloodstream numbing his senses. "Banana."

Castiel nodded like he understood.

Dean's numbed synapses were just beginning to kick in, and he realized how close they were. Unfortunately, his body refused to listen to his brain, which was ordering it to move.

"So you come and crash at my place, why? I thought angels didn't need to sleep."

"We don't unless we're trying to heal quickly. It's less like sleep and more like a coma."

"What happened?"

"I destroyed the one witness to my crime."

Dean was silent. He understood. He knew what it meant to kill a friend, in Castiel's case a brother, for the greater good and how much it hurt. It was easier to hurt himself.

"Why me?"

"You were easiest thing to hold on to. You were already calling out to me, and our link strengthened that. I was weak so I just let my instincts take me."

"Link." It wasn't a question, more like a thoughtful statement.

Cas took it as a question. "Yes. I technically have a part of you in me."

Dean snorted again. "Sounds dirty."

Castiel ignored him. "Because you gave up a small part of your soul. I then made total contact with your bare soul to my Grace in Hell, so that strengthened it even more."

"So I guess we're stuck with each other," Dean said. "It would be nice to be stuck with someone other than family."

Cas nodded, and tried to sit up. Fierce pain shot through him starting in his side. He let out a small sigh and lay right back down.

"You okay?" Dean asked, noting the small exhalation.

Cas nodded. "I can't move yet."

"That does not sound okay. You needed another dose of my soul?"

Cas shook his head adamantly. "No. I'll be fine with rest."

Dean got up and rubbed a crick out of his neck. "God help me in a few hours," he muttered to himself.

He pulled off his stale shirt and went in search of a slightly cleaner one.

He paused and glanced at the blemish on his shoulder. "Cas?"

"Mm." The angel responded, eyes closed and looking focused.

"Was this you?"

Cas opened one eye, looking like a cat and took in the sight of the raised handprint on Dean's shoulder. "Yes. It's left from when my Grace touched you, it must have been too much for your soul. I apologize. It must be a painful memory."

"I came back with no other scars but this one. I think of all the scars I gained there, this might be the best memory."

He pulled on a green flannel shirt he found on the floor after giving it a cursory sniff.

He splashed water across his face and rubbed his red eyes. Despite what Cas had said, he was fairly sure that he hadn't been dreaming about monkeys in the white house. Memories of Hell continued to haunt him, even in drunken sleep.

Cas was back in his coma when Dean left the bathroom. And he had taken up the whole bed. No way was Dean sleeping that close to him again.

He popped open a beer to avert his oncoming hangover and seated himself to watch the watcher.

XXX

"It's time."

Ruby's stomach dropped. "Not yet."

"Dean is out of Hell. Lilith has done her job well, now it's time to take her out, and we need Sam Winchester to do it."

"Crowley," she began scrabbling for an answer. "It's too early. We have to do this right, we only get one shot at this. If we get it wrong, then there's no going back. Besides he's not ready to consume that much blood."

"Make him ready. And it's not if _we_ get it wrong, it's if _you_ get it wrong. So don't fuck it up!" he shouted the last three words.

"I have been working at this for months. I am _getting this right_!"

He grinned suddenly. "Good. Mess up and we have a very powerful enemy. You know exactly what Lilith does to her enemies."

Ruby swallowed, but Crowley was gone before she could even open her mouth.

XXX

"Sam," Ruby said throwing his clothes at him. "We've got places to be. Get your ass up."

Sam blinked at her groggily. "Why? I just killed a demon, don't I get a break?"

"Ain't no rest for the wicked," Ruby replied and fished a pair of jeans out from under the bed to also throw at him.

"Alright, I get it," he grumbled and began pulling clothes on.

Ruby cocked her head as she watched. "I'm beginning to wonder if there's any point to you even wearing clothes."

He made a face at her, which she laughed at. He was really immature when he was tired.

"Why the urgency?" He asked, pulling a long sleeved t-shirt over his head.

"I'm working on a tight schedule here."

He rolled his eyes.

"Do you or do you not want revenge?" she asked him. "Dean was in _Hell_. And you know who put him there?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"So, I ask you again. Do you want revenge?"

He nodded, a spark of the fire that was Sam Winchester buried in his eyes.

She smiled wickedly at him. "Good boy."

XXX

Dean had fallen into a half doze in the chair, still facing the comatose Castiel. He was jerked awake by the Impala's engine starting. He checked for keys and finding none, cursed.

"."

He knocked on Sam's door and no one answered. He let out a curse again.

Where on earth would his brother and a demon be going at this hour?

Dean reflected on the kill earlier. The power that had radiated off of Sam as he had killed the demon right there, no struggle.

Dean hadn't mentioned it. He didn't know why. Most likely because he had just gotten back from Hell and the last thing he wanted to do was fight with Sam.

But he was using his powers again. Who knew for how long. Maybe before he'd died, maybe only tonight.

Dean nearly punched a hole through the door in frustration. He's away a month, a _month_, and already that Ruby bitch had poisoned his mind. She had far too much sway of Sam. Far too much.

It was time to put a stop to it.

**Author's Note:** I have been so busy. This weekend has been the first time I've been able to have any free time what so ever in over a week. It's been crazy out here in the real world. Love, peace and chocolates to you all.

_Next time…_

_ "Hardly. Why should I care if the angel kills you? Besides the fact that I wouldn't have the pleasure of doing so myself, of course."_


	18. Chapter 18

_Previously…_

_She had far too much sway of Sam. _

_It was time to put a stop to it._

Dean prodded Castiel's uninjured side. "Wake up, power house. I need back up."

The angel's eyes flew open. "I am not yet fully healed." There was the slightest hint of a whine in his gravelly voice.

"You don't need to be. I'm only dealing with my brother and Ruby."

"Then you obviously don't need my assistance." Cas closed his eyes again.

"Please, Cas, I will buy you an entire liquor store and a life time's supply of burgers if you do this for me."

Cas cracked one eye open. "And what makes you think I'd want those?"

Dean smirked. "You know, you're not as sneaky as you think. I've seen you scarfing down happy meals like they're going out of fashion. Also, you hold your liquor like an old Russian woman, which I respect."

A faint blush crept up Castiel's neck. "Not true," he mumbled.

"Very true, I've seen it with my own eyes."

"Tell no one."

"Only if you help."

Cas sat up stiffly, instantly making Dean feel guilty.

"Or you could stay here and sleep it off," he suggested hurriedly.

Cas shook his head. "I am mostly healed by now. Besides, I hope the situation can be resolved by talking."

"You and me both."

XXX

"Can't I just use the knife and get it over with?"

"So you don't want it?"

"I didn't say that."

Sam took Ruby's offered wrist and clamped his lips to the cut there.

After drinking for about a minute he made a move to pull back, but she placed a forceful hand at the back of his head urging him to continue. Sam had a bad feeling about the night if he was going to need this much. After far too long, he surfaced. His eyed were almost entirely black, showing only a small sliver of hazel at the edges. "What's the plan?" he asked.

XXX

"I'm thinking, maybe if we track Sam's phone, we could find him."

Dean turned to find Cas was gone.

"Great," he said, but before he could even finish the word, Cas reappeared.

"I know where he is."

"Right, magic angel powers."

"They're not magic Dean, simply power channeled from Heaven."

"Glad I asked," Dean said. "Right, I didn't. Can we just go already?"

"Very well."

Cas took hold of Dean's shoulder and the world spun around them.

XXX

Dean stumbled a little bit and then straightened up when he was pretty sure that he wasn't going to throw up.

The first thing he saw was Castiel's jaw set grimly and his eyes were as cold as a glacial lake.

Dean followed his line of sight and the second thing he saw caused his stomach to flip inside out.

The nausea that had just left a second ago came back in full force.

He made a gagging sound, and Sam looked up, lips still stained red, and eyes fully black.

They stood there in silence for what seemed like an eternity.

Dean finally broke it. "Sam, get in the car."

"Dean this isn't what it looks like."

"Really?" Dean aid, his voice rising. "'Cause it looks a hell of a lot like you were drinking demon blood."

"I can explain."

"You don't need to. Cas, care to explain what demon blood does to a person?"

Castiel's voice was entirely emotionless, with a slight icy tone as he spoke. "It's highly addictive, very powerful stimulant, not to mention extremely damaging to your immortal soul."

"Dean," Sam began, his eyes begging for forgiveness. "I'm just trying to help."

"And how does damning yourself help?"

"I can kill demons much more easily now. I can even save the hosts without an exorcism. Do you understand what this could mean?"

"I don't care Sam, we're going back to the motel."

"No. I'm not. Dean I know you care, and I would do almost anything for you, but I am so sick of you having to take control of everything I do."

"Because THIS is what happens when I don't. You end up an addict and going against everything we've done."

"You're such a fucking hypocrite," Sam shouted. "_You_ call _me_ an addict? Do I even need to bring up all the times you've drank yourself into oblivion? Or how about how you sold your soul?" Sam continued, ignoring the shocked look on Dean's face. "And you're telling me I'm damaging my eternal soul? I'm _trying_ to do something for the greater good here."

"I was trying to save your life."

"Yeah, well you did a piss poor job. You know what my life was after you died?"

"Sammy…"

"You're the reason for this," Sam said, licking the remaining blood from around his mouth. "Because I couldn't save you, and now you're trying to stop me? I can't yet Dean. There's still one more thing I need to do."

"Sam, you need to walk away from that bitch and come with me. We can still fix this."

"There's nothing to fix, Dean," Sam said, he was now toe to toe with Dean. "I'm doing just fine. You don't need to save me from every…"

He stopped, and fell forward into Dean's arms.

Awkwardly catching his oversized brother, Dean looked up to find Ruby's eyes.

"You better run bitch," he growled.

And she ran.

Dean turned to see Cas, with his hand out stretched from knocking Sam out.

Dean grinned. "Knew I brought you for something."

"Where will you take him?"

"An old family friend. I can only hope he's forgiven us by now."

XXX

"Stop."

Her muscles rebelled and she stopped, feet anchored to the ground. Going from top speed to zero in milliseconds isn't good for anybody, including demons. Ruby struggled vainly, but stopped, recognizing the power of a much stronger demon holding her in place.

"Let me go."

"I can't do that."

Crowley stepped into her range of vision. There was no hint of a smile at the corner of his lips and his eyes were black and serious. This was all business.

"Crowley," she all but growled between her gritted teeth. "I can explain."

"There's no need to. You failed."

"It's more complicated than that."

"It really isn't, Ruby," he said with an exasperated sigh. "I gave you instructions, and while you were handling them very well, you got caught. Basically," he continued pointedly. "You failed."

"Just give me one more chance. I can get him back…"

Crowley cut her off. "I don't think so. The angel has promised to kill you if you ever crossed the Winchesters again, hasn't he?"

Ruby's heart nearly stopped. She had nearly forgotten who she had been running from in the first place. "You've got to help me, please."

Crowley laughed bitterly. "Hardly. Why should I care if the angel kills you? Besides the fact that I wouldn't have the pleasure of doing so myself, of course."

Ruby opened her mouth to answer, but air was suddenly cut off from her lungs. She choked.

"You see, not only have you failed, but you've made it impossible to replace you. Dean Winchester will never trust another demon, you've ruined that trust, and Sam has a strange belief in you that he may never have in another demon. You have, completely, ruined all of our hard work."

White was closing in on her vision and her entire body was calling out for oxygen.

"Of course, Sam still has that faith in you, even if his brother does not." Suddenly air swooshed back into her lungs and she would have collapsed with relief if not for the power binding her to the spot. "If you can reach him, and convince him to leave with you, then maybe, I will think about forgiving you." Her chest began to constrict again. "Swear to me, you will find him and bring him to me."

"I swear," she gasped out quickly, and the constriction disappeared as well as her invisible bonds. She almost fell on her face as her arrested momentum returned.

"I will find you if you fail me yet again, and I will have to physically drag Sam Winchester and use all means available, including his brother and most probably yourself to get him to do what I want. Now, you know I prefer deception, I'm a business man above all else, so don't fail me, and I won't be pressed to violence."

Ruby gulped and nodded, curled into a half fetal position on the ground.

"Good girl," he crooned and disappeared.

XXX

"You know, I could have transported you all."

Dean was speeding at a dangerous speed down the interstate and his erratic driving was beginning to mildly scare Castiel.

Dean laughed, it was the maniacal laugh of a half mad man whose brother was passed out in the back going through an extreme withdrawal. "Cas, the last thing I need right now is to be teleported away. It's Hell on my digestive system. And there is no way I was going to leave my baby." He patted the dashboard possessively.

Cas regretted mentioning it as Dean cut off a particularly aggressive truck twice the size of the Impala. "Understood," he all but squeaked out.

Dean nodded, his eyes too wide. He turned sharply and cut across three lanes of traffic at high speed before wrenching the wheel to the right and entering the exit lane.

There was a slight grunt as Sam's unconscious form slid across the back seat.

Dean flinched visibly. "He's not waking up is he?"

"I told you Dean" Cas said as comfortingly as he could. "The combination of the blood and my power should keep him asleep for hours yet."

Dean nodded, but hardly looked convinced.

"We're almost there anyway," he muttered, trying to convince himself more than to inform Cas.

XXX

Bobby Singer had just settled down on his beat up couch and slid out of his shoes, with a bottle cheap whiskey in one hand and a book on Norse myths in the other, when the doorbell rang.

Grumbling something about 'never catching a break', and 'damned idjit hunters', he stumbled to the door, grabbing a hand gun on his way, tucking it into the waistband of his jeans.

The door rang again.

"Hold yer horses, I'm comin'!" He shouted. He opened the door. "Do you even know what time it is?" The end of the sentence died in his throat as he took in the sight before him.

"Painfully aware, Bobby," Dean grunted, shifting the weight of his limp brother. "A little help?"

Bobby crossed his arms an impassive look on his face. "What are you doin' here? And who's that?" He asked, jerking his head to Cas. "And why the hell is Sam dead to the world?"

Dean sighed and ran the hand that wasn't currently supporting Sam through his hair and over is face. He looked much older than the last time Bobby had seen him. Deep circles were cut under his eyes and the eyes themselves held years' worth of pain. He gave a half smirk that had no spirit in it. "That is a long story Bobby. Can we come inside?"

Bobby stood aside as the two young men carried Sam into the house, who they proceeded to drop on the couch unceremoniously.

"Care to explain why you're here?" Bobby said, drinking from the whiskey in his hand.

Dean sighed deeply. "First, before anything. I'm sorry we haven't called or visited."

"You better be," Bobby said gruffly. "I would have forgiven you."

"I know, and it was stupid. But we were a little younger…"

"Dean, you were a year younger."

"Not me."

Bobby was silent as he took in Dean's appearance. As he'd noticed earlier, he looked older, his body and face looked just as he had, but he held himself like an old man and his eyes gave way to inner pain.

"I think you better start from the beginning," Bobby said quietly.

XXX

_"This is a whole new level of moronic!"_

_ "No, it's not…"_

_ "Do you have any idea what your father would say if he were alive?"_

_ Sam's face was pained, whereas Dean's began to contort with anger._

_ "You have no right to talk to us about what Dad would have thought, you fought with him till the day he died." Dean stood and began to advance on Bobby, pointing an accusatory finger._

_ "Dean," Sam cut across, attempting to keep as much peace as he could at this point._

_ "Sam, stay out of this," Dean turned back to Bobby. "Well?"_

_ "I'm not goin' to give you my blessing on something so stupid."_

_ "Fine we don't need it." Dean turned to leave._

_ Sam whispered urgently in his ear. "Dean, we can't leave now, he's the only family we have left."_

_ Dean hesitated, his hand on the door knob. He turned back to face Bobby once more. "Last chance. We can stay like this. We can leave and live out our new lives, with or without you."_

_ Dean waited for an answer, and Bobby opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. A bitter expression crossed Dean's face. "That's what I thought."_

_ "Dean, wait…"_

_ But the door had already slammed behind him and Sam, leaving Bobby feeling like a lonely old man with nothing left but liquor._

XXX

"I hate to say it," Bobby said, pouring Dean another drink. "But I told you so."

"I know," Dean admitted, accepting the drink gratefully. "I really should have known. I should have come back, but you know…"

"Yeah, yer damn pride took control."

"It's my deadly sin, though to be honest I'm a fan of all seven." His eyes slid to Cas, who was sitting awkwardly next to him. "No offense, Cas."

Castiel shook his head. "None taken, the seven deadly sins merely outline human character."

Dean snorted into his drink, Bobby smiled and Cas looked worried.

"What did I say?"

"Nothing," Dean said. "You just say these amazing things sometimes. So unangelic."

"Heaven isn't necessarily against many of the things humans insist we are."

There was a brief moment of tranquility. Bobby smiled and Dean laughed, and Cas looked confused, which made Dean laugh even more.

That's when the screams started.

**Author's Note: **Things are coming to a head! Hope you liked it, thanks for reading, etc. You know the drill.

_Next time…_

_ "Right now, I just need a good lay." The side of his mouth quirked up as Cas opened his mouth, but he cut across him. "Please, don't volunteer, you have no idea what you'd be getting yourself into."_


	19. Chapter 19

_Previously…_

_ That's when the screams started._

Dean flinched visibly, the amber liquid in his glass almost sloshing over the side. Castiel's face grew solemn.

"I believe that Sam has woken," he observed stonily.

"No shit, Sherlock," Dean muttered.

Castiel cocked his head to the side, but refrained from commenting on the culture reference.

Dean gritted his teeth and gestured at Bobby for another drink. Frowning, but in complete agreement, Bobby poured more into the proffered glass, then proceeded to top off his own.

XXX

It took Dean fifteen minutes to crack.

"I can't do this," he said, grabbed the open bottle on the coffee table and went outside, slamming the door behind him.

Cas and Bobby sat awkwardly.

"I will speak with him," Castiel finally said, and stood.

"D'you think that's a good idea?" Bobby asked. "I don't think he's in the talkin' mood."

"I will look after him. It's my job." He turned and followed Dean out the door.

Bobby muttered something inaudible and took a long sip, trying to numb his mind to the screams coming from his basement.

XXX

The alcohol burned going down his throat. It felt surprisingly good, so he kept drinking, gulping it down, mouthful after mouthful, practically chugging.

Dean was interrupted by a small cough. He dragged the bottle from his mouth and wiped his forearm against his mouth. "What do you want Cas?" He asked a little more viciously than he'd intended.

"To help."

Dean snorted. "Yeah, I know. That's all you ever want to do."

"Of course it is."

"Yeah, well. This time, you can't help."

"Do you need to talk?"

"About what? You know everything I know. Right now, I just need a good lay." The side of his mouth quirked up as Cas opened his mouth, but he cut across him. "Please, don't volunteer, you have no idea what you'd be getting yourself into."

Cas glared at him. "You, for some strange human reason, require sex to forget, for a small amount of time, what is happening to your brother."

Dean tapped the tip of his nose. "Right on the nose Cassy boy." He then looked mildly insulted. "It wouldn't be for a small amount of time," he said indignantly, He shook it off. "Anyway, I'm going to go get laid." He pushed past Cas to reach his car. Annoyingly, Cas popped up in front of him again, looking a little dangerous. Dean shivered as the soft blue of Castiel's eyes quickly turned electric.

"You are not driving in your condition."

"Fuck you, I'm going." He pushed by Cas again, only to find the angel popping in front of him again, this time with an unbreakable grip on Dean's shoulder. He chose a different tactic. "Come on Cas, I need this, You've got to give me something."

Cas seemed thoughtful but finally nodded. He tightened his hold on Dean's shoulder and he was being transported.

Again.

XXX

"Okay, where are we?"

"Exactly where you wanted to be."

Dean took a look around. "Not quite my style."

The bar was crowded and peppy modern shit music filtered out of it along with bright lights.

Castiel's head tilted. "It has what you require. Alcohol and women with loose morals."

Dean almost laughed. "Cas, you say the strangest things." He sauntered to the bar and pushed his way to the front, Cas trailing despondently after him.

XXX

The screams weren't stopping.

Every single time, Bobby would flinch, and attempt to drown them out with another shot.

Every time, it didn't work.

After almost a year without seeing them they still felt like family.

Of course he had forgiven them. What else could he do when Dean showed up on his doorstep with the weight of the world on his shoulders?

XXX

Dean was already mostly drunk, but to walk into a bar and not drink is a sin in the Winchester family bible, so he'd already downed about half of his beer, Castiel's still full as he sat stiffly next to Dean, when he got his first proposition.

From what his alcohol addled brain was telling him, she was very attractive. Small details like the ample curve of her hip and the smoothness of her pale hand against his cheek made their way to his nervous system. He grinned devilishly at her.

"What are you here for tonight?" She asked cheekily.

His grin widened and slid sideways into a leer. "I'm just looking for some touch," he said, but the classic rock reference seemed to go right over her head. The innuendo, however, did not.

Her thin, and _very_ red lips, began to curve into a sinful smile. Dean found himself very fascinated by how they moved. He was then shocked to find her eyes. How he had not noticed them before was a wonder. They were wide, blue and unbelievably inviting. A striking feature. But the slightly debauched look did not belong with such a pure color.

These strange thoughts fled his mind as their eye contact broke when she leaned in close to his ear and began to murmur things that could make a whore blush.

_Yep,_ he thought drunkenly, smiling slightly at the images she was putting into his head. _She's the one._

He was mildly amused to glance to the side to find Cas blushing furiously, obviously picking up some of what the anonymous woman was saying. His hand was clutching the beer glass so hard Dean thought it might break.

"Never caught your name," Dean muttered to the woman as she paused in her obscene whispers.

He felt her insanely red lips curl into a smile against his ear. "I never gave it."

Dean smiled. It was going to be a good night.

XXX

The shriek rent the calm night air.

Ruby stood, completely unmoved, as the demon writhed before her.

"You poisonous bitch," the demon keened, clawing at the burns left by holy water. "I told you, I _don't know_."

"I think you do," Ruby said calmly. "Someone in the underworld always knows where the Winchesters are, and I have it on good authority that you're the one who knows. So tell me." She reached for her knife, the only part of her belongings that she had managed to save while running for her life from Dean Winchester and his pet angel.

The demon cringed. "I don't know where they are. I swear, but I know someone who might."

"Tell me." Ruby twirled the knife expertly between her fingers. The demon was silent as he eyed the knife. "Give me a name," Ruby said more firmly this time.

"Pietr," The demon gasped out in a hurry. "Pietr Volocov. Last I heard he saw their car passing through Wisconsin."

"Where can I find Volocov?"

"He normally lives in Virginia, but I don't know where he is now." The demon's voice had taken on a keening, pleading quality. The part of Ruby that was still so very demon loved to hear it, even, maybe even especially, in her own kind. No matter what kind of emotions Sam had made her feel, there was always a part of her that would enjoy inflicting pain.

_I know what I am,_ she thought, toying with the knife. _I may hate it at times, but there's no escaping it._

The demon must have seen the hard look in her eyes, because his eyes widened, and flicked from the grim set of her jaw to her tightened grip on the knife's handle.

"No," the begging tone increased, now with a hint of panic. "Please, no!"

Her eyes flicked black. It felt _good_ to be in control again. To have someone squirming at her feet and begging. She loved to hear them beg…

Before she was thinking, she let the knife go and the begging ceased into a wet gurgle as the knife made contact with the demons throat.

The life sparked out of him and Ruby immediately sagged as she came down suddenly from the high she got from torture.

She opened her eyes as she heard a slow, sarcastic round of applause.

"Lovely show darling," a gruff brogue taunted. "Good to see the Winchesters didn't really tame you."

Anger and defensiveness tangled in her throat in an incomprehensible growl.

Crowley tutted. "Give the girl a plaything and she gets all feral on us. Come now Ruby, you're above this. You can enjoy the pain while still remaining civil. Now, about those results. Found the Winchesters yet?"

Ruby shook her head, not fully trusting her voice.

"I need results. I can't keep the hounds at bay forever. They miss you downstairs."

"I have a lead," she managed to rip from her tangled throat.

"Good," Crowley said, with a mocking eyebrow raised. "Now follow it."

Ruby stood. "I will find them you know."

"Oh I don't doubt it," he said. "For your sake."

And he was gone.

XXX

Why was it burning?

That was the thought that kept tearing through Sam's mind when he had enough of a mind for thought.

It had never burned before.

Another cry ripped from his sore throat. He couldn't move, he was tied up on something cold and hard.

And the burning was back and nothing more made it through his head.

XXX

Dean ran his hands along the expanse of her creamy white thighs that was exposed by her short skirt, as her long legs wrapped around him. Her impossibly red lips were latched to where his pulse beat and she sucked.

He still didn't know her name.

She released his now violently red neck and looked up to face him with too earnest blue eyes.

_Stop it_, he told himself. _It's just a color. Just sit back and enjoy the ride._

He quickly realized that he was just going through the motions. Letting out low growls and quiet moans at the right time and making all the right moves, but his thoughts were elsewhere.

Why wasn't it working?

Sex always worked.

And now his tried and true coping mechanism was failing him.

He kept thinking of Sam, mostly, chained to the hard cot and sweaty hair tangled across his forehead. The pain intense in his face.

He placed passionless kisses along her jaw line, causing her to shiver.

He thought of Bobby, alone with Sam's screams and his drink. Alone as always, with his closest friend, Guilt.

She gasped happily at his motions, grinding into him.

He even thought of _Cas_, the fucking Angel of the Lord, sitting alone at the crowded bar, waiting for Dean to finish, unsure of how to handle that situation.

_This_ was his family. Small, broken and fucked up, but _his_.

_God, am I in for it now._

He pulled back from the needy mouth of the still unnamed woman.

The sound was like a plunger being removed from a clogged drain.

Her look was confused, a little hurt and very tipsy. "What's wrong Sugar?"

"Nothing, I just realized there's something I really should be doing right now."

"I can think of one thing we should really be doing right now."

"And it's not you."

She looked extremely hurt now, and Dean felt a twinge of guilt. He tried to force a smile on. "Look…"

"Denise."

"…Denise, you are a very lovely girl and should be above anonymous sex. Go, find your life partner and forget you ever met me."

He stood, and made his way to the front door. He turned back. "No really, it was a pleasure, I just need to be elsewhere right now."

And he left.

XXX

Dean realized he had no idea where he was.

He didn't know where the bar was, he didn't remember the journey to Denise's apartment. He didn't even know what city Cas had taken him to.

Finally he broke down and called out to Castiel.

"Castiel. I don't where I am and I kind of need a lift."

Cas appeared in front of him, swaying slightly.

Or maybe it was Dean swaying.

Cas pitched forward, straight into a surprised Dean's arms.

No, it had definitely been _Cas_ swaying.

"I'm perfectly fine," Castiel said irritably, shaking off Dean's helping hand. "I can stand."

Dean narrowed his eyes at him. "You're drunk."

Cas didn't bother denying it. "So are you."

"I'm not an angel."

Cas floundered, trying to find a suitable comeback. "Well… You need to get back to Sam."

Dean dropped the very entertaining fact of a drunk angel in favor of using said drunk angel as a teleport home.

Dean thrust out his arm. "Lead on, Castiel," he said in a somber voice.

XXX

"What is wrong with me?"

Cas looked up, his face a little green and looking nauseated. "I believe you must also be nauseous. This is the first time I've felt ill effects from using my powers."

"No, I meant, sex didn't work."

Cas blinked. "It did not?"

"You really thought I wouldn't last that long?" Dean asked looking a little offended. Then his face grew confused as he began to look around. "Where the fuck are we?"

Castiel scanned the surrounding area carefully. "About a mile west of where we should be."

Dean groaned. "Please, never do that drunk again."

"It's a short walk. We will survive."

"No," Dean said somberly. "I don't think I will."

XXX

The pain was still there.

It was as if he could feel her presence inside him, without any sort of possession. Only she would be able to stop the pain completely.

That he was sure of.

XXX

_"He's stopped screaming."_

Dean's heart leapt to his throat. "Have you checked on him?"

_"'Course I did, ya idjit."_

"Well?"

_"He's obviously still in pain."_

Dean squeezed his eyes shut. "Is he speaking?" He asked finally.

There was a silence at the other end. Finally. _"He keeps muttering. I can't understand him."_

""Kay," Dean said. "We're coming back."

Dean shut his phone and sighed.

They stumbled toward Bobby's house, using each other as support the whole way.

XXX

Ruby wiped the knife off on Volocov's sweater, and tucked it back into her jeans.

She now had a direction, and another death under her belt.

Ignoring the slightly annoying voice telling her it was wrong, she forced a wicked smile across her lips and headed toward the Winchesters.

**Author's Note**: So the reference was to a song called _Tush_ by ZZ top. I know the lyric is tush, not touch, but I like this better. Anyway, good to see you, virtually, I know it has been forever and a day. I had stressful week of finals and then scampered away and hid from the real world at the beach for a week and a half with no internet, sooooo long story short, I'm back. Miss me?

_Next…_

_Fuck, Cas leaves for _one minute, he thought, _and it all goes to hell_.


	20. Chapter 20

_Previously…_

_ Ignoring the slightly annoying voice telling her it was wrong, she forced a wicked smile across her lips and headed toward the Winchesters._

Dean sat to the side, quietly observing his brother's uneasy sleep. He had been asleep when he and Cas had stumbled through the front door and had not woken yet. And Dean didn't have the heart to wake him. At least he was no longer making those heart wrenching screams, though he was far from silent. Quiet whimpers often found their way from between the younger Winchester's lips and made Dean's heart bleed.

_Hypocrite._

Sam had been right. He _was_ a hypocrite.

Denial set back in immediately, battling with guilt.

Besides, monsters would probably kill him before his liver could.

XXX

Sam opened one eye.

It was harder than it should have been. His eyelashes were crusted with tears and sweat from the traumatic night. He attempted to sit up, but his movement was immediately arrested as he heard metal clink on metal. Looking down he found handcuffs binding his wrist to the cot. The rather uncomfortable cot.

Dean was a few feet away, dozing in an equally uncomfortable looking chair. His mouth was hanging open, and Sam could see a small drip of saliva dribbling out of the side of his mouth.

Sam snorted. It was impossible to be mad at Dean when he slept. He slept with such abandon, drooling and snoring, and had absolutely no regard for what people thought of him.

A frown creased Sam's brow as his eyes slid back down to the cuff circling his wrist. He could remember fighting with Dean, and then Cas knocked him out.

God, was Ruby even alive?

XXX

Cas slid the door open and stepped in inside.

Both Winchesters were asleep, but Dean jerked awake, nearly falling off the chair as Cas entered.

"Oh," he said, rubbing a hand blearily over his eyes. "It's you."

"I just came to say that I need to go," Cas looked almost apologetic. "They need me back in heaven."

"Of course," Dean said guiltily. "You've got more important business than a couple of hopeless cases."

"You're very important Dean."

Dean's eyes glistened. "Cas." His voice came out throatily.

"Yes?"

"I'm about to hug you."

Cas cocked his head, but before he could respond, he found himself being embraced.

He awkwardly returned the gesture.

"You know," he said pensively. "You're very tactile when you're drunk."

Dean snorted. "A least I'm not kissing you this time." He released Cas and stepped back, clapping him on the shoulder. "Thank you. Really."

Cas nodded serenely. "If you need anything, you know how to find me."

"Will do," Dean said with a half hearted salute.

And then he was alone.

XXX

She was waiting for the angel to leave. For all she knew he could be gone, or he could be in the basement, hiding.

The illuminated window of the front room now had two silhouettes, one of which she recognized as Dean, slumped and damaged looking.

The angel was not present.

It was as good a time as any.

XXX

"Hey kid," Bobby said, settling onto the couch next to him with a heavy sigh. "How are you holdin' up?" He asked, offering a bottle of beer.

Dean accepted it and took a swig before answering. "I've been better."

Bobby nodded. "He's a tough kid, he'll make it through this."

"If I ever get my hands on that bitch…" Dean started.

He was interrupted as the door flew off its hinges.

In the doorway stood said bitch, holding a gun.

Dean was on his feet in seconds, his gun drawn and aimed at her.

She shot first, hitting him in the thigh, sending him to the ground. She turned and shot Bobby in the hip.

Making sure they were both incapacitated, she hit them both over the head with the butt of her gun and continued to the basement.

XXX

Dean woke with a throbbing headache that was only just ignorable in favor if the unbearable pain in his upper thigh.

He tried to stand but his leg gave way and he collapsed against the aging couch again. It started to come back to him.

"That bitch."

Then he noticed the alarming amount of blood seeping from his wound that had already stained the carpet. God if she hit his femoral artery… well, there was no way he was bleeding to death a second time. What a pathetic way to die. Again.

Bobby was in a similar situation, clutching his hip, a little disoriented, and probably mildly concussed.

He began to scrabble for something to stop the bleeding, eventually settling for a wayward curtain, and tied it firmly around the bullet hole, hoping to deal with the bullet itself later. He treated Bobby in a similar fashion.

"Don't fall asleep, you hear?" Dean said, shaking the older hunter slightly. "I'm gonna find Sam."

_Fuck, Cas leaves for _one minute, he thought, _and it all goes to hell_. He stumbled down the stairs, opening the door to find the empty cot.

She had Sam.

XXX

"Good to see you're among the living."

The harsh brogue tore him out of his fitful sleep with the disturbing comment. Sam blinked blearily until an unfamiliar face came into focus. "I died?" He asked. "Again?"

The man rolled his eyes. "Should have known you would take that too literally. You Winchesters can't seem to stay dead can you. Though, for the moment that is working in my favor."

More of Sam's senses began to come online. He felt cool metal cuffs around his wrists, still, and a cold table beneath him. Definitely not Bobby's cot.

"Where's Dean?"

"That would be the first question you asked. Your darling brother is sleeping off a bullet wound as we speak back in Sioux Falls."

Sam yanked on the cuffs violently. "I swear to God, if you've hurt him…"

"Tsk, Tsk Sammy, don't make promises you can't keep." The man snapped his fingers and a burly man with thickset features and too much hair entered the room, holding Ruby, gagged and tied. "After all, we have a little something you want."

XXX

"DammitfuckinghellSHIT!"

"Shut yer mouth Dean, you've had worse."

Dean gritted his teeth, knowing Bobby was right. He'd had much worse, but usually not when a demon bitch had just kidnapped his younger brother. But he shut his mouth and took another long draught of whiskey as Bobby continued to dig for the bullet buried in his leg. Dean had removed Bobby's only minutes before, probably with less finesse and more alcohol.

"There." Bobby dropped the deceptively small metal ball in a clear glass bowl. "All done."

"Good," Dean said attempting to stand. "Let's go after that bitch."

Bobby didn't even try to stop him, even when he staggered with the pain, and waited until he seated himself again with a scowl, to reply. "Go where, exactly?"

"I hate it when you're right," Dean said bitterly. "Got something in mind?"

Bobby shrugged. "We do what we always do. Hunt them down."

XXX

Sam froze. "What do you want?"

He laughed. "I underestimated your attachment to her. I thought it would take a little prodding before we could convince you."

"What do you want?" Sam repeated, sharper this time.

"I want you to do what you've been doing. I want you to hunt down and kill the demons I tell you to."

"You want me to be your hitman?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Smart one, aren't you," he smirked askance at Ruby, who glared. "You sure know how to pick them Ruby."

She muttered something guttural through her gag that sounded vaguely like _fuck you_.

He ignored this and turned his attention back to Sam. "Yes, I will give you assignments, you will go and carry them out, and we will not hurt Ickle Rubikins."

"Why me? Don't you have other lowlifes who could do this for you?"

His grin darkened. "That's classified information and will be revealed to you at the proper date. In the meantime, do we have a deal, Sam Winchester?"

"You're acting like you aren't coercing me. Like I have a choice."

"Oh but you do have a choice. You could choose to have no feelings for her and let us kill her. You're simply making the predictably human choice, like I knew you would. I repeat, do we have a deal?"

Sam hesitated, glancing worryingly at Ruby before stating resignedly. "We have a deal."

He clapped his hands twice. "Excellent. Shake on it?" He held out his right hand mockingly.

Sam made no attempt to take it, knowing he was still cuffed to the table.

The man feigned surprise. "Dear me, I seem to have forgotten to release you." He produced the key and took a step toward Sam. "You try anything and she'll be dead before you can make the first move." His voice lost all mocking quality and was deadly serious. "I know the kind of power you have, and I have no wish to have it incurred on anyone in this room, most especially myself."

Sam swallowed and nodded his understanding.

He smiled a wolfish smile, and unlocked the cuffs. "Now shake on it?"

Sam hesitated again. "You aren't going to kiss me, are you?"

He laughed. "I know you'll do exactly what I tell you. No kiss necessary. Unless that was an offer."

Sam shook his head vehemently and held out his hand.

"Pity," he said, taking the proffered hand and shaking it slowly. "Like I said, Ruby, you know how to pick them."

The muffled _fuck you_ came again.

"Who are you anyway?" Sam said retracting his hand the second it was let go.

"The name's Crowley, King of the Crossroads. And you, Sam Winchester, are my bitch so long as we have her. Welcome to Hell."

XXX

"Think, why would she want him?"

Dean was extra frustrated because his leg wound prevented him from pacing back and forth across the room, causing him to be twitchy and irritable.

"Well, she was giving him demon blood for a reason," Bobby put in. "But you caught her before she could finish the job. Now she's trying to."

Dean nodded. "But what exactly was she trying to do?"

Bobby shrugged again. "Your guess is as good as mine."

Dean rubbed his temples. "Demon mojo."

"What was that?"

"He had this freaky demon killing power that Ruby always supported. I never liked it, neither did Cas. It always felt…wrong. Like we were somehow betraying, hell if I know."

"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster."

Dean looked up. "Story of my life."

"Nietzsche," Bobby said. "Cynical, certifiable old bastard."

"Well, we have that in common."

"Why don't you call in the big guns?" Bobby asked. "Cas would be more than willing to help."

Dean snorted. "He has more important things to be doing. He just rebelled for me, I can't ask much more."

"Dean, think about how much you've already relied on him, and he's come through each time. What makes you think he won't this time?"

Dean mumbled something incoherent.

"I'm not getting any younger, and my hearing is shot, you'll have to speak up."

"I feel inadequate, alright? I can't keep track of my kid brother for five minutes without divine intervention."

"You're doin' better than most Dean. We've all failed the ones we love at some point."

Dean didn't answer for a long time. After an eternity, he sighed, rubbed his face and spoke to the empty air.

"I'm sorry Castiel, for dragging you back into our mundane mess, but we need you back. Sam's…" His throat constricted. When he continued his voice held a markedly rougher tone. "He's gone. And I need your help."

XXX

Dean's speech touched heavily on one of the emotions that angels feel more so than humans. Loyalty. Already, Cas felt liable for the Winchesters and treated them as he would any member of his family, without question.

He was already fiercely loyal, even by angelic standards, often taking much on faith, and inversely, as Dean had made him question his faith to Heaven, his loyalty grew into a force to be reckoned with.

He'd made a promise that he would kill Ruby if she ever crossed the Winchesters, and it was most likely time to fulfill that promise.

And Castiel always keeps his promises.

**Author's Note:** Sorry, after the long wait I found this to be a disappointing chapter, but it got the job done. The next few might be similar, but I have some truly brilliant ideas for scenes ahead. As for the mention of Nietzsche, I do find him to be a cynical crazy old bastard, however, that one quote by him has always seemed to fit the Winchester's lives. To me, anyway. And, also, (sorry, long note, lots to say) to those of you who adore destiel, there is more coming up in a few chapters. I know there has probably been a disappointing lack, but hey, shit like this goes down and you don't exactly have time for *gasp* _feelings_. I hope you are all enjoying my monstrous baby of a rambling tale and thank you for giving it a chance and therefore stroking my ego. Also, I hope you're in for a long haul, because this doesn't seem to be ending any time soon. Until…

_Next Time…_

_ Now clad in leather pants, and his silk shirt undone, his hair looking satisfyingly debauched, the businessman became the demon he was._


	21. Chapter 21

_Previously…_

_ "The name's Crowley, King of the Crossroads. And you, Sam Winchester, are my bitch so long as we have her. Welcome to Hell."_

The awkward silence prevailed.

At least, it was awkward for Sam. The demon, Crowley, was observing him intensely, and Sam was sure he felt no awkwardness about the situation.

After an eternity of this examination, the demon spoke. "Your first job."

That was it. No elaboration. Just another long silence in which Sam wondered if demons needed to blink.

"Yes?" Sam finally prompted.

"Patience is a virtue, Sam. Good things come to those who wait."

So Sam shut his mouth.

"I want you to take this demon out. Keep it clean and simple. We'll give you all the blood you'll need."

Sam nodded, and examined the picture Crowley produced.

"You'll find him at this address." Crowley produced another piece of paper with an address scrawled on it in large loopy handwriting. "Any questions?"

"Transportation."

"Man of few words. I like you Sam Winchester. You'll be given a car, only the best of course. Oh and one more thing, give me your hand."

Reluctantly, and under the intense stare of two dark eyes, Sam reached his hand out.

Crowley grabbed it and Sam suddenly felt a searing pain across the back of his hand. He wrenched his hand back with a cry of shock, but it was too late. The back of his hand was now marred with an intricate triangular design burned into the flesh.

"I now see everything that you see. There's no hiding, no going behind my back, or Ruby will pay. And don't even think of trying to break it. You thought _getting_ it hurt," he said, leaving the statement hanging.

Without another word, Sam collected the photo, the address and the set of car keys on the desk and stood, realizing just how fucked he truly was.

XXX

"Why are you still here?" Dean asked with panic. "Shouldn't you be out finding Sam?"

"Something is blocking me," Cas said in a mildly puzzled tone. "I can't see him."

"What do you mean you can't see him? You're an angel, aren't you supposed to be fucking _omniscient_?"

"No," Cas gently corrected. "Some extremely powerful demons and spells can block our vision."

"Leave him be, Dean," Bobby said, with a restraining hand on his shoulder. "He's only trying to help."

Dean sat down reluctantly. "I'm sorry," he said throatily. "It's just…"

"Completely understandable, Dean," Cas said, cutting him off.

Dean could only nod, the absurd mix of feelings roiling inside him rendering him unable to answer coherently. The complete sympathy, and compassion and, dammit, _love_ in the angel's eyes were throwing at best. At worst, leaving him an unintelligible mass of blubbering Winchester that belonged in the denouement of a terrible chick flick.

He decided to go with 'throwing'.

Dean did not blubber. Even under the worst circumstances.

And this definitely counted as the worst circumstances.

So he opted to cough, regain control over his emotions, and take a long draught of god-knows-what alcohol before articulating his thoughts.

"We'll do this the old fashioned way. Say Ruby wanted him killing demons. Which, I'll admit, makes no sense, because he was doing that already."

"You did kinda throw a wrench in the works," Bobby pointed out.

Dena nodded, brushing the comment off. "In which case, we're going to have to track demon deaths."

"There are a lot of those out there," Bobby said doubtfully.

At this point, Dean surprisingly smiled. "Not the way my boy does 'em."

XXX

It was a fucking vintage Porsche Boxter. Crowley really hadn't been kidding when he'd said 'only the best'.

Sam was trying very hard to not enjoy driving it, but as hard as he tried, a part of him admired the demon's taste in cars.

He frowned immediately, thinking of the Impala and inevitably, Dean.

Dean would skin him alive if he knew he was selling his life away to save a demon. Especially Ruby who had so recently betrayed Dean's trust.

He pushed that thought as far away as possible and finally allowed himself to slam the gas pedal down as far as it would go.

Slavery had its perks.

XXX

Dean was laying out the map of the United States and flattening it, before immaculately pinning it to the corkboard below it. It was perfect, with no wrinkles or bumps.

It damn well should be perfect, because this was the sixth time he'd done it.

Bobby had kicked him out of the office due to unnecessary hovering as Bobby scanned the news online, hitting the refresh button every few minutes, looking for unnatural, possibly Sam induced deaths. Dean had hovered, gradually getting closer to the screen and breathing heavily in Bobby's ear.

Bobby Singer was not a patient man.

Fifteen minutes later, Dean had been banished to the living room and was re-pinning the map yet again for lack of anything useful to do. He took a break from pinning five minutes ago to color coordinate the pins, but the fact that he had been driven to such anal retentive tendencies scared the shit out of him, despite the five-year-old-like entertainment he got from hearing Cas call him 'anal retentive', so he had given up that endeavor in favor of pinning the map to the corkboard and waiting for any news from Bobby. Besides, Cas had gotten as frustrated as a stoic Angel of the Lord can with Dean's inadequate color scheming of the pins and was now placing the pins in order of the prism exactly one centimeter apart on the coffee table.

Maybe Dean wasn't the most anal retentive one there.

Given the slight comfort that the angel obviously had nothing better to do than take up pointless tasks that he had already abandoned, Dean set about undoing his work of the last five minutes and redoing it.

XXX

While the Porsche might be fun, it wasn't the most inconspicuous car to stake out in.

So Sam observed in a tree.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Much like it had seemed like a good idea to climb trees when he was much younger, and much more flexible and much lighter. And even then he had gotten his wrist broken.

But it seemed that even Sam Winchester was fallible.

He had climbed a tree. Again, and was now beginning to regret it.

No, he hadn't broken his arm, but the bare strip of flesh showing between his shirt and pants was beginning to rub raw from the rough bark of the tree. And you know, maybe a grown man in a tree might garner more attention than a flashy car.

So he gave it up and simply watched the address Crowley had given him from the interior of the car.

He'd pinpointed who the demon was supposed to be. An ever so normal looking business man by day, the instant the sun went down and the respectable neighborhood lights went off, he fled suburbia into the heart of the city.

Sam followed him to a nightclub, throbbing with life and music and giving off the sinful atmosphere most demons couldn't resist.

Now clad in leather pants, and his silk shirt undone, his hair looking satisfyingly debauched, the businessman became the demon he was.

Originally Nicolas Perinet, he was now possessed by a powerful demon that Crowley, for some reason, wanted dead.

And, also for some unfathomable reason, it was Sam's job to kill him.

Sam fished in his pockets for the small flask that carried the demon's blood he would need. He pulled it out and opened it, grimacing at the smell. This was nothing like the fresh he was used to. Of course just thinking about fresh blood sent a wave of heat coursing through him. It had to be hot and flowing, preferably complete with a writhing hot body beneath him…

He cut off the train of thought and quickly tossed down the flask's contents. He gagged slightly and signaled the bartender for a drink to wash it down with. Sending the shot of some unknown alcohol down after it, Sam coughed slightly. The combined stimulant of the blood and the alcohol acting as a depressant made Sam's world a bright clear thing, like a diamond. He could feel the pulsing energy of the humans on the dance floor. And even more so, the underlying power of the demon among them. Sam could feel his blood from here, coursing through his body in seconds, his pulse flinching madly. He could feel it across the room. And he wanted it. Even as the blood already in his system began to kick in, he only wanted more. And not the stale room temperature shit. He wanted to cut into his flesh and suck straight from the wound. He wanted the demon to give up his power and just before he bled him fully, Sam would extinguish his life as if a candle. The scene was playing out in his head, and Sam couldn't help but lick his lips. Oh he wanted it. His blood demanded it.

It was as if the demon could sense himself being watched. He glanced up from the current body he was reveling in, and caught Sam's hungry eye.

There was a brief recognition of power and the demon grinned wolfishly. Sam grinned back, equally as predatory. He _knew_ he was the hunter in this situation.

Before he knew what he was doing, his body moved. Out of the barstool it was currently inhabiting and into the mass of writhing bodies before him.

Sam never danced. Even when the occasion called for it. A few times in his Stanford days, going to his friends' weddings, he would get hideously drunk and sweep a laughing Jessica onto the dace floor to dance to some horribly cheesy eighties pop song, ending in a sloppily perfect kiss.

But his days as a happy drunk were over. He was quickly becoming a bitter, reclusive drunk who hid in the corner of the bar and did work instead of picking up girls with sleazy grins and cheap liquor. Both seemed to be Dean's area of expertise.

But he wasn't necessarily drunk. Or even high, though maybe a little bit. Instead he was driven by an insane need. He absolutely needed the blood of that demon. Who was so alive and pulsing with it.

So he danced.

It wasn't the beautifully drunken dance he'd often shared with Jessica. This was every bit as sinful and wanton as Sam felt at that instant. He shifted partners easily, just barely giving each of them a taste of him before moving on, with no preference to gender, always getting slowly closer to the demon.

By the time he reached his goal, he looked just as debauched. His hair was tangled in every which way looking like he'd just crawled away from rough sex in the alley behind the joint. A few of the buttons on his shirt were undone, if not just plain missing and his jeans were riding ever lower, beginning to show the bottom of his spinal column and the enticing V between his hips.

The demon very obviously noticed. He noticed that Sam wanted him, he was sorely mistaken as to which _way_ he wanted him, but he knew the undeniable desire was there. It was palpable.

So he grabbed those perfectly sculpted hipbones, quite possibly leaving handprint shaped bruises on each, and ground his own hips against them.

Sam could no longer ignore where the pulse jumped just below the skin and brushed his thumb across it in a contrastingly gentle gesture. It was overpowering. The scent of his blood was just oozing out of the demon's pores and the pulse flinching erratically under Sam's thumb was begging to be devoured.

Sam growled, only barely holding back in the inhibition-free environment.

The demon thought he understood completely and began to drag Sam out of the heaving bodies to the infinitely cooler outdoors. Sam shivered slightly at the sudden change in temperatures.

The demon was on him instantly, and Sam allowed himself to be pushed against the brick wall simply due to the suddenness of the attack.

He regained his composure almost immediately and took control, nearly slamming the demon against the wall. Finally giving in to all his desires, he allowed his lips to latch onto the demon's neck, right where the tantalizing pulse beat quickly. His teeth began teasing the flesh, quickly creating a painful bruise.

The demon began to let out small needy moans. Sam almost rolled his eyes. He should have known that all demons would be sadomasochistic.

But the moment hardly left time for those sorts of musings. So Sam gritted his teeth harder, eliciting a gasp from the demon, who began to thrust in wide, helpless, erratic movements against Sam, whose canines were now grinding the soft flesh between them, very nearly drawing blood.

For one second, if he forgot the obvious anatomical differences, he allowed himself to believe, with the demonic aura surrounding him, that it was a different demon writhing beneath him, begging him. He almost believed it, too, almost moaning her name.

But then his teeth broke the skin and the first drop of tangy demon's blood hit his tongue and all thoughts fled his mind.

He moaned and began to suck.

He honestly couldn't tell what the demon thought, but by the time he was mildly sated, he drew back and met completely black eyes. Just like Ruby's eyes when she came…

He uttered the first word of their encounter. "Beg." It came out as a tangled growl.

"Please." The demon's voice was equally harsh, and very masculine, but he could always imagine.

He closed his eyes, and pictured her soft, powerful body. Then the power suddenly came flooding through him like a wave through a broken dam, and it snapped him to full attention. The blood was no longer making the world intense and mildly hazy. Everything was now sharp and clear and harsh. The demon snapped back in shock as it recognized its own death coming, cringing further into the brick wall in a futile, instinctual attempt to ward it off.

"It's you," were the only words that made it out of its mouth before the demon was dead and the host collapsed in Sam's arms. Barely breathing.

Sam almost cried in relief that he was still breathing, his emotions becoming more human. But the drug like effect of the blood was not gone just yet. His vision had gone back to hazy as the power had been spent on killing the demon. Sam stumbled away from the body of the host, disoriented, and stumbled his way back to the Porsche.

There he fell asleep without another thought about the demon he'd just killed or the monster he'd become for a short time.

XXX

The next morning he remembered.

And was violently ill by the side of the road until he felt nothing but hollow and guilty.

XXX

"I've got something."

Bobby had only gotten out the first word before Dean was behind him, breathing down his neck.

"What is it?" Dean asked hurriedly. He had even beat the angel who could _teleport_ there.

"Don't get your hopes up, it's something small. Just some emergency room case with a claim of amnesia for the past three weeks who woke up in the dumpster. Injuries include a concussion and what is supposedly a bite mark."

The amnesia sounded promising, but at the mention of a bite mark, Dean's heart sank. "Vampire?"

Bobby shook his head. "Look at these pictures," he said handing over the laptop. "Looks definitely human."

Dean's heart lightened the tiniest bit. "You know who bites demons?"

"Is this an attempt at humor Dean?" Cas asked. "Because this seems like hardly the time…"

Dean cut across him. "No Cas, I'm completely serious. People addicted to demon blood bite demons."

Cas made a small noise of understanding. "Oh."

"You know what this means?" Dean said gleefully. "I finally get to put a pin on my map!"

He nearly skipped into the other room.

However, Dean Winchester does not skip.

**Author's Note:** Long time in coming I know, but I have not been productive of late. Yeah no excuses here. Hope you like it and someone out there is still reading this rambling… behemoth. Leviathan. THING.

_Next Time…_

_ There had always been some form of a hangover after demon blood, but this was scary._

See you then!


	22. Chapter 22

_Previously…_

_ "Just some emergency room case with a claim of amnesia for the past three weeks who woke up in the dumpster. Injuries include a concussion and what is supposedly a bite mark."_

Dean was so eager to get to Des Moines, he didn't even complain about the angel transport.

They landed and Dean frowned.

"What is it?" Cas asked, noticing his change in stature.

"Demons usually go for thriving metropolises, like New York or Chicago. You never think of them being in the American Heartland. And yet they _always are._"

Cas nodded. "I know. But human vice thrives everywhere, thus so do demons."

Dean snorted. "That's kind of a cynical sentiment."

"It is not cynicism if it's true."

Dean frowned at him. "Dude, bursting my bubble here."

"My apologies."

"Alright, just remember, you're special agent John Roberts."

Cas cocked his head. "Why the need for subterfuge?"

Dean snorted. "And I thought you were being cynical. Cas, humans lie. It's what we do. Some more so than others. Me and Sammy especially. You can just keep quiet and be the dangerous stoic one. Let me do the talking."

XXX

His hands were shaking.

He'd tried driving and had nearly swerved into oncoming traffic.

There had always been some form of a hangover after demon blood, but this was scary. If Crowley had given him bad blood, he swore to God…

What though? As Crowley had so eloquently put it, he was his bitch so long as they had Ruby.

So, to avoid any collisions he'd pulled into a diner at about four A.M. and ordered bottomless coffee and decided to wait it out.

Two hours later he had yet to leave.

The waitress was obviously losing her patience. She had just kicked out a hobo who had been there all night and Sam could tell he was going to be next once respectable customers started showing up at a more reasonable hour.

He looked like Hell. Felt like it too.

He rubbed his jaw where just the slightest amount of stubble was growing. He never let his beard grow out. Dean had always teased him mercilessly for it.

Thinking of Dean, he frowned. His eyes trailed to his phone, which was off and would probably be bombarded by messages from Dean if he turned it on. Slowly, from his phone, his gaze made its way to the mark seared into the back of his hand. He couldn't lead Crowley right to Dean by contacting him.

His hand squeezed into a fist and he drank more of the black sludge they called coffee, wishing that he had something a little stronger, despite the early hour.

XXX

Dean shoulders were slumped and the sleepless nights were beginning to show.

Cas, contrary to popular belief, was not oblivious to human emotions, or body language.

"You require sustenance," he announced to which Dean snorted.

"C'mon Cas, do angels really speak like that?"

"No. Angels use waves beyond human capability to understand. Human language is archaic and stiff in comparison."

"No, it's archaic and stiff the way you use it. Try and loosen up, 'kay?"

Cas paused. "I will try to loosen up." It sounded forced and ill fitting coming out of his mouth.

"I give up," Dean said. "And I'm starved." He turned to jay walk across the street towards an all hours diner just as an orange vintage Porsche pulled out into the street, nearly knocking him over.

"Bitch!" He called after the driver.

He entered the diner, Cas not far behind and eased onto the cracked checkered vinyl covering the seats of the booth.

So Dean was tired, and focused. So much so, he didn't even notice the eyeful of leg the waitress granted him and mindlessly ordered the greasiest thing on the menu.

Cas did notice and went awkwardly still, looking directly at her forehead.

"He'll have a coffee," Dean said, grinning at Castiel's deer in the headlights look.

"Comin' right up," she said, much too cheerful for the godforsaken hour and obviously angling for a tip. Dean once again, missed the flash of cleavage and Cas was forced to stare out the window, a faint blush creeping up his neck.

Dean sighed and played idly with the bottle of syrup, his thoughts returning to his unsuccessful search of the morning.

Okay, so while Cas was a really entertaining faux FBI partner, Sam was way more competent.

Besides, there hadn't actually been a death, so they had questioned the amnesiac, and gotten a lot of suspicious stares from the medical staff. Oh, and by the way, he was an amnesiac, eliminating all useful information. All in all, not a successful morning.

Breakfast arrived.

The day was looking up.

XXX

His phone, which he could have sworn was off a second ago, buzzed, announcing a message from an unknown number.

A frown creased his forehead as he read it. Two addresses, and below those, a name.

The mark burned into the back of his hand gave a twinge. He flinched and rubbed it absently as he looked the addresses over again, his frown deepening.

Another set of buzzes emanated from his phone, heralding a new message.

_Now._

Sam rolled his eyes. No doubt as to who _that_ came from.

He slipped out of the booth he'd been occupying and left a stingy tip on the table, wincing as the waitress gave him a death glare and wishing he could have left more.

Unfortunately, being blackmailed into killing demons doesn't pay.

He barely even noticed as he nearly ran over some poor pedestrian.

XXX

Night clubs during the day depressed Dean.

There was something entirely too clean about them. The stools put up on the bar and the dance floor empty. It looked too big and too small at the same time.

"Can I help you?"

A woman with sensible glasses, her hair pulled back in an elaborate bun and a skirt that may have been a little too short to be considered business appropriate intercepted them.

"I hope so," Dean said, pulling out his badge. "Agent Plant, FBI. This is Agent Roberts."

Cas was learning. He didn't hold his badge upside down this time.

The woman nodded. "Lena Winters. I own the place. What can I do for you?"

"A man appeared behind your club earlier this morning with no memory for the past few weeks. Were you aware of this?"

She nodded curtly. "Yes. I dealt with the cops earlier. Why is the FBI interested?"

"That's classified," Dean said with a tight smile. "May I ask who the bartender was that night?"

She paused before nodding to the man behind the bar, arranging colorful liqueurs on a glass shelf. "Rodriguez!" She called.

He glanced up. Young, lightly tanned with coffee brown eyes. "Yes, Ms. Winters?" His light accent caused it to come out more like _yayes_. Dean wasn't a fucking linguist, why would he know what accent?

"FBI would like a word with you."

A slight frown marred his smooth face. "Okay?"

Lena Winters nodded to Cas and Dean and gave a cold, professional smile. "I hope he can help with your investigation and I hope that this case remains _classified_."

She turned and walked briskly away, heels clicking on the glassy floor.

"Friendly boss you've got," Dean commented mildly as he strolled over to the bar.

Rodriguez shrugged and gave a wry smile. "She's tough, and that's why this is one of the best places in Des Moines. What can I do for you?"

Dean let a lopsided grin slide across his lips. "How about a shot of whiskey?"

To his credit, Rodriguez grinned. "Sorry, I'm off the clock, and from the looks of it you're on duty. And besides it's all of what? Eight o'clock? In the morning?"

"Eight thirty," Dean corrected defensively. "But you're right, I am on duty."

The grin disappeared. "Of course."

"You were working last night?"

"'Til closing," he confirmed.

"You recognize this man?" Dean took a picture of Sam out of his inside pocket. In the picture, Sam was grinning slightly, but sincerely, and holding a beer casually, while slouched against the Impala. It made Dean's chest ache. It had been way too long since Sam had grinned like that.

Rodriguez studied the picture, his brow creasing with concentration. "I saw a lot of people, it was kind of crowded last night too. Faces kind of blend together in this job, but every once in a while, some one sticks out, you know?"

Dean's heartbeat picked up slightly. "And? You saw him?"

Slowly, hesitating slightly, Rodriguez nodded. "He looked different, not nearly that relaxed, and he ah," a faint blush tinted his tanned cheeks. "Wasn't exactly being surreptitious, you know?"

Dean blinked as that sunk in. His Sammy wasn't being surreptitious. God, what did he have to _do_ to stand out in a place like this? Sure, his sasquatch height didn't make for subtlety, but Dean didn't like the thought that whatever his brother had done was making the bartender blush.

Cas piped up. "Did he leave with someone?"

Rodriguez's head snapped to him, a slightly surprised look on his face, like he'd forgotten Cas was there.

"Yeah," he said after a pause. "I think so. Dark haired guy, thirties."

Cas and Dean exchanged a look.

Dean pulled another picture out of his pocket, this one of Nicholas Perinet. "This man?"

Rodriguez looked even less sure of himself this time. "Yes." It came out almost a question. He cleared his throat. "I mean, I think so, I wasn't um… really paying attention."

Dean sighed inwardly. "Let me guess, they were a little friendly?"

Rodriguez looked relieved that he hadn't had to say it. "Yeah, they were. But we get a lot of that here. I think he might have been under the influence."

Dean got that weird achy feeling in his chest again.

"That would be the demon blood," Cas said matter-of-factly.

The poor kid blinked at him slowly. "What?"

Dean covered for Cas quickly. "You know, drugs, heroin, whatever the kids are calling it these days." A fake laugh crinkled the small lines around the corners of his eyes and he kicked Cas under the bar.

He probably shouldn't have. Cas gave him a confused look and now his toe hurt like a bitch.

Rodriguez looked entirely confused at the exchange so Dean thought it prudent to leave before they blew their cover completely. "Thank you for your time," he said, and turned to walk away, Cas trailing him.

And if he limped, no one mentioned it.

XXX

At the first address Sam found another flask of lukewarm blood.

He shuddered at the memory of how unpleasant the blood had been from the flask last time. And then shivered at the memory of the fresh dose he'd gotten from Perinet.

He instantly pushed that memory away before it could fully form into an uncontrollable thirst. The flask would sustain his body's needs and avoid effects of withdrawal. It wasn't as if he needed it fresh.

_Keep telling yourself that_, his Id muttered at the back of his mind.

Sam ignored his Id in favor of the next address and name.

A Laura Horne was next on his hit list.

XXX

Dean was having one of his introspective moments. He has those every once in a while and they were the kinds of moods that made Sam nervous.

So, Sammy was cozy with a demon. Not so new. Cozy with a guy? Okay, maybe a little new. But Perinet had been left as a host in the back alley, and it wasn't really like Sam to hook up in an alley.

So maybe the original theory that he was hunting down demons still held. Just with some new… twists.

Either way, they were too late. He was gone.

Dean ran a hand through his hair. "How can we even get ahead of him, it'll take too long to find any sort of pattern."

"We find who has him on a leash," Cas said, like it was obvious.

Dean gave him a dubious look. "You can't even find him, what makes you so sure we can find his…" he hesitated then grudgingly said "employer."

"The power that's blocking him from me has a very specific aura, and a vague symbol. I'm sure with some research and focus we could track the demon down."

"Is it Ruby? Would you recognize her aura?"

Cas paused. "No, it is not Ruby. I've felt her, she burns like a candle, flickering and unpredictable. This is like a bonfire."

"Cas, I think you missed your calling as a poet."

"I had no calling as a poet, my calling is as an angel of Heaven's legions."

Dean felt a smile tug at his lips. "You're something Cas, you know that?"

"Yes."

"And so modest too," Dean said with a mock swoon.

Cas frowned at him. "You are too, you know."

"Yeah, yeah, ineffable plan and all that."

"No, I don't mean to my superiors. You are what a human being should be, even if a bit annoying and oversexed."

Dean opened his mouth, but closed it again. Castiel said it like it was a fact, almost made it believable.

He coughed. "Back to Bobby's?" He asked, offering Cas his arm like a gentleman.

With an honest to God _smirk_, Cas took it, in perfect Victorian form.

_Dear Lord,_ Dean thought as he was sucked into the black vacuum of spatial travel. _I'm flirting with an angel._

**Author's Note**: This has been going so slow lately and for that I apologize whole heartedly. However, we are reaching the end, maybe not to soon but we're getting there, and I have some really good shit written for the near future. Especially if you like a certain awkward angel. Angst ahoy!

Oh, and apparently this is now my most viewed story? And is now in a community? Where have I _been_?

_Next Time…_

_An honest to God avenging angel was in his study, holding a knife. _


	23. Chapter 23

_Previously…_

_ "How can we even get ahead of him, it'll take too long to find any sort of pattern."_

_ "We find who has him on a leash." _

_ And…_

Dear Lord_, Dean thought as he was sucked into the black vacuum of spatial travel. _I'm flirting with an angel.

She can't have been more than seventeen.

Seventeen and the demon was riding her hard. He'd been watching for all of an hour and already there had been drugs, alcohol, and multiple bed partners.

The recovery from this kind of possession was not going to be fun.

That is if she was still alive under there.

XXX

Bobby rubbed his eyes with one hand in a motion that Dean had adopted early in his life.

"You really think this could work?"

Cas nodded gravely. "It is our best chance."

Dean was alternately standing and sitting, looking tense as a cornered animal. "Well, go for it."

Cas leveled a cool glare at him, but said nothing. Instead he closed his eyes and didn't open them for an eternity. The only sign that he was still alive was the rapid movement of his eyes behind his lids.

Dean grew tenser by the second and got himself a drink.

Finally, Castiel's eyes opened. "Paper. Pen." He said concisely. Dean complied without question.

Cas easily sketched a triangular design with intricate jagged lines cutting across it. He frowned at it. "It's the symbol that keeps showing itself when I try to track Sam," he said. "The power has a distinct signature. This demon has more power than anyone you've ever dealt with, except maybe Lilith."

"Any ideas on who it could be?"

Cas nodded, his eyes growing stormy. "King of the crossroads. Ambitious and ruthless. I can maybe track him, but I might not." The gaze he gave Dean bordered on sympathetic. "Be prepared for failure."

Dean let out a long breath, took a long draught of alcohol-of-unknown-origins and controlled his voice before answering. "We'll leave you to your angel tracking thingy, and research this symbol. Maybe it can help."

Cas nodded and went into his semi-coma again.

XXX

She was utterly broken. The demon had left her an addict, with possible STDs and a failing liver.

But alive.

He did better than leave her in the alley like he had with Perinet. He anonymously called the police who picked her up while he observed from the confines of his car.

_Not_ his.

XXX

"The symbol represents sight, but it can be reversed," Bobby said, pointing out where he had found it in the ancient text. "So if it's on him somewhere, it means that someone is watching him, while making sure no one else can."

"So Sammy's got some new ink?" Dean asked.

Bobby nodded. "It's likely."

Dean rubbed one hand against his jaw where a substantial amount of stubble was accumulating. "Well shit."

Bobby grunted his assent, turning back to the book. Dean slammed his own heavy book shut with a puff of dust and god-knows-what-else and went in search of beer, walking past Cas, who was sitting unnaturally still on the couch, looking all too serene in the midst of mismatched cushions that were this side of bald.

His eyes snapped open.

With a jerk and a string of half spluttered expletives, Dean spilled his newly found beer down his shirt. Continuing to mutter quiet curses under his breath, he turned an expectant look in Castiel's direction.

He got a slight nod in response.

His heart leapt to his throat.

_Finally_.

XXX

"We have him on our side, now."

"Go ahead, gloat all you want."

"Darling, why would I? We want the same thing."

"For completely different reasons."

"They each stem from self-preservation. That's something we've always been good at."

A sigh. "Fine, what do you propose?"

A grin. Triumphant. "We'll keep him off your tail. He's driven by revenge, the poor boy, but you must have been expecting that."

"I was following orders. Now, what do you want?"

"Half."

"Of?"

"Your souls."

A pause. Incredulous. "You're joking."

"Completely serious. All I need to do is point him in your direction and you're a dead woman. Oh, and the apocalypse starts."

"You're a real bastard."

"Those in glass houses shouldn't cast stones. The pot calling the kettle black. The…"

"Stop it, I get the point. I'll give you a quarter."

"Anything less than a half and I sic my pet Winchester on you."

"A third."

Another pause. Thoughtful. "Two fifths."

"Done."

Another grin. Wolfish. "Pleasure doing business with you."

XXX

Crowley leaned back in his chair, allowing the two front legs to come off the floor. His grin grew wider and satisfied. All in a day's work.

He was reaching for a cut crystal decanter filled with amber-colored alcohol when there was a slight shift in the room and the sound of wind.

His hand paused, but continued for the decanter. "Castiel, and Dean Winchester I presume?"

The angel leaned over him, power positively pulsing off of him. Crowley very nearly flinched. "Where is Sam Winchester?"

Crowley falsely frowned. "Oh dear, can't find him on your own can you?"

"Tell us and save your own skin."

He raised the recently poured drink to his lips and hesitated before setting it on the desk in a deliberate movement. "What's in it for me?"

Winchester almost growled and leaned forward. The angel held him back with one arm, his intense eyes still locked on Crowley. "I reiterate: tell us and save your own skin."

He said each word with such confident deliberate power it sent a shiver down Crowley's spine. As a very powerful, influential demon, who worked with many other powerful, influential demons on a regular basis, he could respect anyone who could give off that amount of sheer energy.

"See, love, I'm a business man, and in business you don't get anything for free. I'm not going to simply give up for nothing."

Like the strike of a cobra, Castiel's hand was around his throat and their faces were inches apart. "No, you see, in _your_ business niche you end up with coercion and threats. In those cases, I think you might be able to make an exception. In this case, we're getting Sam Winchester for free."

Cobalt blue eyes glared into where his very soul would be if it hadn't been sold ages ago. They were electric and his pupils were madly dilated giving him a terrifyingly half-insane look.

The hand currently clenched around his jaw wrenched away none too gently. Crowley gingerly felt the raw spots where finger-shaped bruises were likely to form soon. He scowled. "You couldn't have left them below the collar like a gentleman?" He said bitingly, still massaging the marks.

The angel made no comment and merely glowered.

Crowley sighed. "Tough crowd." His eyes slid to Dean, standing with his legs shoulder width apart and his arms crossed. Equally unamused. "I can't promise where he is now…"

"You can see exactly where he is now," Castiel cut him off. "No bullfuck."

There was an utterly stunned pause where Crowley and Dean were united in their complete confusion.

Dean coughed in what might have been a masked laugh. "Cas, I believe the term is _bullshit_."

Castiel waved him off, only the tips of his ears going red. "No matter."

Crowley let out a merciless laugh. "Naïve little angel, fresh from the works. How sweet. How adorable."

Dean made an almost proprietary gesture, moving the tiniest bit in front of the angel. Crowley cocked his head to the side and noted that for later.

Casitel brushed him off, and continued glaring at Crowley. He hadn't blinked yet, which was a little disturbing.

"You still haven't told us where."

"Convince me," Crowley all but purred.

Expressionless, Castiel turned to Dean. "The knife, Dean."

Dean blinked, looking a little shocked. "You're going to…?"

"Yes, this is something I am more apt to do that you are."

"Cas, I don't know if you noticed but I spent a whole hell of a lot of time doing this."

"Don't argue with me on this, Dean. This is for your benefit."

If it had been anything but his imminent pain and subsequent death that they had been discussing, Crowley might have even found this adorable. At the moment, considering the circumstances, it was merely entertaining. Two alpha males fighting for dominance, with an obvious bond between them, and the sexual tension alone was killing him.

He took a sip of his scotch.

Nice, tangy, oakey flavor.

Dean conceded the knife, and reluctantly broke eye contact. Crowley was sympathetic. The angel still had yet to blink. Unnerving, that.

Castiel slowly turned to face him fully and for the first time that evening, Crowley felt true fear pool in his stomach.

An honest to God avenging angel was in his study, holding a knife. Not that he needed it to kill him, obviously, but the symbol of power meant a lot.

It also meant that the immediate future involved quite a bit of pain.

With another sigh, he reluctantly set his tumbler of scotch aside and made full eye contact with Castiel. "I have a deal."

"Absolutely not," Castiel responded just as Dean said incredulously "You've got to be shitting me."

Corwley lifted his hands in a placating gesture. "Allow me to explain. This deal does not involve the souls of any involved." He glanced around to make sure they both were listening. They were. "If I set your brother free and remove my mark on him, you will enter into a venture with me, starting with the prevention of the death of a certain demon." He paused and revised that statement. "Another demon. Don't kill me either."

Dean snorted. "You must be on something if you think we'll agree to that."

"Why not? You entered into a deal with a demon before."

That struck a nerve. "That was different."

Crowley smiled knowingly. "Of course it was. But that was only one of multiple. Shall I mention Ruby?"

Dean flinched. "See how well that worked out?"

"Extremely. Both parties made a lot of money and your brother had someone when you weren't there."

Another nerve. "She was a lie."

"Not entirely. Don't you even want to know what this venture is?"

"No," both Casitel and Dean answered.

Crowley frowned. "But this is something you'll be interested in. I'm trying to stop the apocalypse."

There was a pregnant pause.

Dean broke it. "That's bullshit. There's no such thing. Right Cas?"

Casitel did not answer. His eyes merely narrowed as he continued to glare at Crowley.

"Right Cas?" Dean restated.

"The ball has started rolling," the angel said enigmatically.

Dean rubbed his face. "Hell Cas. Apocalyptic shit is about to hit the fan and you didn't tell me?"

"It's divine business, Dean, you had no part in it."

"Actually," Crowley cut through with a devilish grin. "He was the one who started it."

Dean jaw literally dropped. He shut it just as quickly. "I didn't. You lying son of a bitch."

"You did. The first seal to be broken required a righteous man to torture souls in Hell. You fit the bill."

Now, if he had thought their little spat before had been entertaining, this was pure art. He watched as Dean's entire world and everything that he believed in imploded in on him. The poor man nearly crumpled where he stood.

Castiel laid a hand on his shoulder but he flinched away as if burned. "Tell me he's lying, Cas," he demanded his voice cracking.

There was no answer.

Something solidified behind his eyes, and he turned to face the demon. "What needs to be done to stop it?"

"You need to stop Lilith from dying."

Yet another low blow. Dean inhaled sharply. "Why?"

"She's the final seal. She dies, Lucifer goes free."

"Fine. We keep her from dying, you release your hold on Sam."

"Done." He reached for a sleek phone and tapped out an order. "He'll be on his way soon."

Dean's eyes were cold. "Swear to me that it's a deal."

Crowley's eyebrows shot up. "If we were to do this properly, we would seal the deal with a kiss."

Dean looked nauseated at the thought. "Would that bind you?"

Ah, a martyr. How noble. "Yes, I am a man of my word. Er… tongue, so to speak."

Before he could really think about it, Dean roughly pressed their lips and backed off after the requisite kiss. Not-so-subtly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand he grimaced. "Deal?"

Crowley smirked. "Deal," he confirmed.

"Good," Dean said. "I think I'll go throw up now." He stormed out of the room.

Crowley suffered for an eternity under the careful blue stare of Castiel, before the angel turned and followed Dean out of the room.

Crowley reacquainted himself with his scotch.

XXX

"Dean…"

"Stay away from me Cas!"

"No, there are things you don't understand…"

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock! Sam may be the brain of the family but I have enough gray matter to figure that one out."

"I meant to save you before it was too late."

Dean heart broke visibly across his face. "But I gave in too early."

"No," Cas said vehemently. "It was not like that."

"Then tell me how it was Cas."

"It was my mistake. I waited too long."

"How can you even…? It's _not_ your fault. _I_ was the one who tortured those souls, not you. You pulled me out of there, and I can't have been worth that risk. What have I done to be worth it to you? I've only hurt people, Cas."

"You exist. You live. You protect your younger brother, you save countless lives out there and ask for no thanks in return. You have done more than enough to earn this, Dean, simply by living and doing what you do."

That definitely killed the argument forming in Dean's throat. He was left speechless. Finally he croaked out something. "I fight. For money. That's not honorable."

"You remove monsters that would otherwise kill innocents. As far as I'm concerned you are doing your job. The job your father did before you." Cas, a totally non-tactile person, reached out to touch Dean, somewhere, anywhere. Unused to human contact and unsure where to apply comforting pressure, he aimed for the juncture of throat and jaw.

He'd barely made contact when Dean flinched away. "How can you touch me? I've already caused so much pain. Not only the souls I repeatedly tortured in Hell, but now I've doomed the planet too. Don't you dare forgive me this one Castiel. This time I really don't deserve it."

Castiel withdrew his hesitant hand and rested it awkwardly by his side. "And what if I did forgive you?"

Dean nearly exploded. "_What_? No, you _can't_! Why would you…?"

"Dean Winchester. You are not a Catholic soul. Neither is Heaven truly denominational. Faith is faith in the eyes of God. But part of faith, and Heaven and God, and life, is absolution. You do not carry the weight of the world on your shoulders." _When had he gotten so close?_ Dean thought. "You are not responsible for the world's problems. For once in your life," He was definitely way too close now. "Allow yourself complete absolution. It's time for you to accept that you can't control everything."

With each word that he spoke, a puff of warm air hit Dean's cheek, and he was close enough now to count his eyelashes. Those incredibly thick lashes surrounding those eyes. Those eyes. They could be in any face and he wouldn't be able to look away, because at that moment, he wasn't really looking at Jimmy Novak, the holy tax accountant, but instead communicating with Castiel, Angel of the Lord, on a very deep level.

"Allow me to forgive you."

That did it. Without so much as a _fuck it_ from his brain his body took control, swaying forward those last few inches before his lips met Castiel's.

From the window of his study, Crowley smirked and refilled his tumbler.

Who needed cable with these two around?

**Author's Note**: I'm ashamed of how long this has taken for me to update. Also the writing is moving so slowly that updates are going to be even farther apart in the future. It doesn't help that I'm trying to decide how to end this. Destroy their lives, or give them a happy(ish) ending? Also, life. You know how it tends to throw shit at you. It's been throwing a lot lately.

Anyway, y'all get some legit Destiel, finally. Hope it lives up to expectations considering I suck at writing it.

Love and kisses, see you in another couple months.

_Next Time…_

_ "You can't keep selling yourself to get me out of problems."_


	24. Chapter 24

_Previously…_

"_If I set your brother free and remove my mark on him, you will enter into a venture with me, starting with the prevention of the death of a certain demon." _

_And…_

_ Without so much as a fuck it from his brain his body took control, swaying forward those last few inches before his lips met Castiel's._

The first time they'd kissed, Castiel had been in a different body and the goal of the kiss had been to siphon off part of Dean's soul. It had been remarkable and had ended with Dean passing out.

The second time, Dean had been black-out drunk and hadn't remembered it the next morning. It had been remarkable and had ended with Dean passing out.

The third time was a little awkward, a little confused and a lot desperate and happened on a demon's front lawn.

Dean found his hands roaming of their own volition, exploring completely new territory. His brain, which had finally showed up for the party, fashionably late, was screaming at him that this was completely _wrong_. That this was _Cas_ and a _guy_ and an _angel_ and a _guy_. But while his mind rambled on and had the requisite sexual identity freak out, the rest of him seemed completely game for an impromptu make out session with an angel on the front lawn of a mansion belonging to a demon that they had just made a deal with.

Cas felt naïve and tentative and shy and that had its appeal, but a not-so-small part of Dean wanted that dominating Angel of the Lord who had intimidated him on multiple occasions to make an appearance. The thought sent panicky happy shivers throughout his body.

Dean Winchester was not submissive in any sense of the word, but for some reason, he wanted this nerdy angel to dominate him.

There were definitely some issues to be worked out there.

And then Cas bit his lip.

There was a slight shock of pain and Dean made a strangled noise caught somewhere between pleasure and pain.

But Cas was drawing back. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't…"

"No, _God_ no, please," Dean said incoherently. It must have been the please because he felt Cas shudder a hairsbreadth away from him and under all those layers of clothes, and his pupils dilated even more in the semi-darkness.

And the dominating Angel of the Lord made an appearance.

Dean felt himself slammed up against a wall and barely had time to inhale before Cas was attacking his mouth. Dean made a highly embarrassing moan that sounded suspiciously like Castiel's name, but it was lost as Castiel's, albeit inept but not lacking for enthusiasm, mouth claimed his own. His hands were suddenly pinned above his head and another hand was at his hip gripping with enough force to bruise.

This was so totally different it was surreal. Dean had never been pinned against a brick wall and _liked it_. He had never given up control like that, and he had never expected it to affect him like this. And, oh was it affecting him.

Cas broke away from his mouth and lay an open mouthed kiss at the same juncture he had just tried to touch between the neck and the jaw. Dean almost thrashed at the sensation. Castiel was giving off electric energy, enough to cause the outdoor lights to flicker. To see him lose control was doing things to Dean that it really shouldn't.

Dean doesn't whimper, but the noise he made when Cas pulled away seemed pretty damn close.

The angel looked mussed. His chapped lips red and puffy from kissing and his usually messy hair even more uneven. His eyes were a deep calm cerulean with a hint of the electricity he was giving off, and staring gravely into Dean's.

"Are you about to pass out now?" He asked, his tone utterly serious.

Dean finally started listening to his freaked out brain and lost it in a fit of laughter.

XXX

Sam pulled into the cement drive and automatically switched off the engine and headlights.

He sat in the darkness for a moment, head in his hands, contemplating just how quickly his life had gotten so fucked up.

On a long exhale he stepped out of the car and made his way to Crowley's office.

XXX

The silence was tense.

Crowley was nonchalantly spinning in his over stuffed office chair. Castiel and Dean were studiously avoiding each others' gazes, to Crowley's unending amusement.

The door opened.

"You called?" Sam said sarcastically, leaning against the door frame. His eyes flicked around the room and landed on his brother. "Dean." It came out strangled and cracked. "What are you doing here?"

"Saving your ass as usual."

"No, no you can't…"

"We made a deal."

"You… _Again_ Dean? Seriously? You can't keep selling yourself to get me out of problems."

"If I may?" Crowley cut in. "Dean's soul is still very much intact. This deal involves your services."

Sam was quiet. So Crowley continued.

"I'm trying to stop the apocalypse from happening, and you can help me do that by keeping Lilith from dying."

"You're asking me to protect the bitch that put my brother in Hell?"

"Sammy, if she dies, a hell of a lot of people follow her."

"Dean, she killed me, and sent you to Hell. It'll be a miracle if I don't kill her."

"Sam," Crowley said. "In this deal, I remove my mark on you and release the leverage I have against you."

There was silence.

"Fine," Sam finally said through gritted teeth. "What's the plan?"

XXX

"Seriously?" Dean said upon first catching sight of the Porsche. "He gave you a girl's car?"

Sam rolled his eyes, a tiny smile at the corner of his lips. "You would think that. There is nothing wrong with it."

"This is a wimpy car. There is no muscle."

"You are _so_ compensating for something."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

It was easy. Between the mess with the demon blood and then being taken and enslaved by a demon they hadn't had time to properly talk, but the messy feelings were pushed to the back for now and they resorted to easy banter.

"We aren't taking this pussy car all the way back to Bobby's are we?"

Sam made a show of looking around. "I don't see the Impala here."

Dean frowned, almost looking like a pout on his full lips. "Once we get to my baby we are never seeing the inside of this… thing… ever again."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Fine. We'll get you back to your _baby._"

Cas had vanished to some alternate dimension or Up Above or wherever he went when he wasn't helping them, so it was just the two of them. Sitting in the silence of the car.

So Dean asked the question.

"Just out of curiosity, what did he have against you?"

"He was going to kill Ruby."

Silence stretched out, Sam kept his eyes on the darkening road.

"Seriously, Sammy?"

"Look, Dean, I know you don't approve, but it's not…"

"No, you don't get it. She fucking took you to him. She shot both me and Bobby and took you. You cannot tell me you did all this to protect that demon bitch."

Sam gritted his teeth. "Well, when you put it like that…"

"I know you've got the hots for her, but she betrayed us. She's a _demon_, Sam. I don't know if you get that."

Sam's hands were shaking. Fantastic. Withdrawal. Just what he needed. "It's complicated."

"It's really not. I could deal with you having sex with a demon. Sometimes I even forgot she was just a demon in a meatsuit, but this is going too far." Dean paused. His voice was several decibels softer when he continued. "Please tell me you don't have feelings for her."

"Really Dean? _Feelings_? This isn't Victorian England."

"Don't change the subject Sam," Dean said darkly. "Just answer the question."

Sam's head was beginning to explode and his skin felt hot and dry. It had been about seven hours since he'd had blood last. It was distracting. He swallowed, the simple motion nearly choking him as it rasped through his parched throat. "I don't know," he whispered in a cracked voice.

"Sammy…" Dean sounded heartbroken.

"Don't. Just don't."

Dean backed off. If anyone, he would understand not wanting to talk about it. With Sam ignoring him, his train of thought turned to Cas.

And derailed almost immediately.

He didn't even know _what_ to feel in that department. Okay, so maybe he was an attractive guy, but yeah, key word there being _guy_. Plus, the face wasn't really Castiel's, it belonged to some poor chump with an affinity for trench coats.

But did it really matter what body he was wearing? After all, Dean had been just as willing to kiss him as the holy tax accountant as he had been the wide eyed, _female_, beauty he'd first seen Cas as. Whatever Freudian shit that said about his psyche, he didn't even want to know.

So maybe he wasn't entirely straight. He winced. Not that that was a bad thing, just a little, well, shocking really. And really, really terrifying.

Oh God, he had no clue what he was doing.

And it just _would_ be Cas, wouldn't it? Dean couldn't choose some fairly experienced guy, but instead had to fall for the virginal angel who was just as clueless as him when it came to this sort of thing.

That brought on a whole new level of terrifying. What in hell was he supposed to _do_ with a male body? The mechanics, he could get, but the actual practice seemed uncomfortable.

And, of course, that just _would _bring on a slew of x-rated images.

Cas, on his knees, wearing nothing but that frustrating tie, constantly askew, that tantalizingly thick hair mussed by Dean's own fingers repetitively carding through it…

Blue eyes _begging_ for it, chapped lips puffy and bitten, throat sporting the world's largest hickey…

Castiel's legs wrapped around Dean's waist, back arched in an impressive feat of flexibility…

His lips latched onto Dean's neck, on top of him, in him, authoritatively pressing Dean's hands into the mattress, leaving them ineffectual…

That last one stirred up all sorts of unwelcome emotions. A lot of fear, plenty of desire, confusion. He shouldn't really have been surprised. After all, he'd _liked_ Cas shoving him into a brick wall, and holding him hard enough to bruise.

He slammed the brakes on that particular train of thought before it could get much more momentum.

Like he said. Freudian shit. He didn't want to know.

Although, bits of his anatomy quite a bit south of his brain were definitely showing a certain amount of interest.

A wave of guilt suddenly overcame him. Here he was fantasizing while his brother was having a crisis equal to, if not greater than, his own.

That threw a bucket of cold water over his libido.

Not that that killed it for long.

He truly was a selfish bastard.

XXX

"Where am I supposed to go?" Sam would never take her back. Not now. Dean had poisoned him against her. Not that she didn't deserve it. Frustration and self-loathing welled up in her throat.

It had been self-preservation. Crowley would have killed her. Even worse, he would have let the angel kill her.

Crowley shrugged. "You can go wherever you like. Go back to harvesting souls."

That was really her only option wasn't it? But she'd been with the Winchesters so long she wasn't sure she could really remember how to be a demon.

XXX

He was burning. He felt like he'd been thrown into the deepest pit of Hell. Or the center of the sun. Whichever was hotter.

If the covert looks Dean was giving him were anything to go by, he looked like it too.

He scratched his forearm, sure that dry, flaky skin would slough off under his fingernails as he did. It didn't, so he kept scratching. And shivering.

XXX

Her mouth tasted like ash, alcohol, and what was quite possibly gutter. She rolled over, assuming that the splitting headache was proof that she was getting back into her debauched, demony ways.

The two warm bodies next to her certainly were.

Sensing them, she opened her eyes. Both human.

The woman was lithe and curvy with loose dark curls surrounding her oval face. Full lips pouted, slightly parted as she breathed in deeply.

Ruby looked past her to see the man and winced. Tall, broad shouldered, narrow hipped. Floppy, brown hair. And dimples.

She was willing to bet the eyes would be hazel.

So much for demony ways.

She sat up, groaning, pain flaring up throughout her body. She began the quest for her clothing.

She was debating whether the bra in her hand or the one that had some how managed to end up on the chandelier was hers, when her phone rang. She quickly decided to leave the couple to find the unorthodox decoration on their chandelier, and put on the one she was currently holding.

She found her pants and answered the phone.

"Yeah?" She was _not_ a morning person. The only reason she was up at this hour was to avoid the wrong pair of hazel eyes.

"_Ruby? It's Dean. I need your help._" A heavy sigh on the other end of the line sent static into her ear. "_Something's wrong with Sam_."

** Author's Note: **Yes. I have multiple excuses for why this is so late, but all of them boil down to I was extremely busy, life can be shit and I feel like ripping my hair out. I am so ridiculously sorry. Anyway, I'm almost done writing this. I foresee six more chapters, give or take. Of course, I thought that way back when. Love and homemade chocolate cookies to all of you, merry Christmas, New Year and all those other holidays I missed, including Thanksgiving and Halloween. Yikes.

_Next Time…_

_ Dean squeaked. "It's not just withdrawal?"_


	25. Chapter 25

_Previously…_

_ "Ruby? It's Dean. I need your help." A heavy sigh on the other end of the line sent static into her ear. "Something's wrong with Sam."_

Looking back on that split-second decision, Ruby thought, it was probably a trap.

Dean wouldn't forgive her if offered all the pies in the world. But the mention of Sam in pain had made her drop everything, including the pair of underwear she was holding, and run to his aid.

It wasn't until she was parked outside the motel Dean had told her about, did she have second thoughts.

She knocked on the door with the Impala parked out front anyway.

Dean looked like shit.

She told him so.

He frowned at her, arms crossed, leaning against the doorway, not very subtly blocking her entry. "This changes nothing. I haven't forgiven you, I probably never will, but for some fucked up reason, Sam still trusts you, and he needs you, so I am temporarily ignoring how much I want to bodily rip your lungs from your chest in favor of you telling me what's wrong with my little brother."

Ruby swallowed nervously. "I expected nothing less."

He nodded and stood aside to let her through. She inhaled sharply at that sight.

And she thought Dean looked like shit.

Sam was flushed bright red, his eyes puffy and bloodshot. Long red gashes of red ran the length of his forearms where he had scratched mercilessly at them. The sheets surrounding him were caked in sweat, and his lank hair was plastered to his forehead.

"This is bad," she muttered.

"What's bad?" Dean asked. It brought back memories of all the times during their time together that Sam had nearly gotten himself killed and it had just been them, united for a brief moment in their mutual concern for him. Times like those, especially when Sam stabilized, or opened his eyes, she and Dean would share a smile and a relief so profound, she had almost thought they could be friends. "What's wrong with him?"

"He was given bad blood."

Dean squeaked. "It's not just withdrawal?"

She shook her head, using two fingers to expertly check his pulse and winced. Far to fast. "When you're coming down from demon blood, your body runs too hot and too fast, because it's used to burning through the demon blood in your system. That's what makes it such a powerful stimulant. It raises your body's functions, especially heart rate and adrenaline levels. But once all the blood has been burned through, the effects remain, but instead of burning off the blood, it starts consuming the body itself, causing a fever, dehydration, often time hallucinations, too. It's painful and messy, dangerous. If you overdose, it won't be the overdose that kills you, but the aftermath. It literally runs you into the ground. But this is not him coming down from a high, this is him suffering because the blood was probably stale. That takes the ill effects of withdrawal and heightens them."

"So what's going to happen to him?"

"Dehydration, mostly. Right now he's going through intense muscle pain and migraines, but those won't be fatal. What's entirely possible, and the more immediate danger, is for his heart to give out."

"What can you do?"

"There are a few options. The first is to try to flush it out faster, pumping him full of liquid. You don't happen to have a saline drip?"

Dean shook his head, wide-eyed.

"Then we'll never be able to get enough liquid in him quickly enough. The other option is messy, slightly counter productive and there's no way you'll like it."

"Maybe you missed the whole desperate to do anything to save my brother tone in my voice."

"Okay, I get it. But I warned you." She took a deep breath. "He'll need fresh blood. That's not all. I still need to flush it out of him as quickly as possible, so I'm going to need to bleed him as he drinks my blood. Have a few gallons of water ready for when we're finished, he'll need it."

Dean went completely white. Obviously the image of a demon bleeding out his brother was too gruesome to imagine.

And she read the reluctance there.

She sighed, looking for the most reassuring words she could under the circumstances. "I love him. I'm trying to save him as much as you are. I know you don't trust me and you think I'm just trying to kill him, but I'm not. I've told you nothing but the truth since I've walked in this room. You can either take a chance and let me save his life, or watch him die."

There was a moment while Dean's face flickered between the choices. The horror of watching Sam die a slow and painful death, or the utter terror of leaving him at the mercy of a demon.

Finally he nodded.

Ruby sighed in relief. "Help me move him to the tub. This is going to be messy."

Between them, they managed to get most of Sam's imposing frame into the bathtub.

She caught the look on Dean's face. "Look, if you don't want to see this, you can go to the store. We're going to need a lot of water, and get iron pills if you can."

Dean nodded, looking relieved and possibly a little grateful.

He left, Ruby waited until the sound of the Impala's engine died away completely before drawing a knife from her boot. She clutched tightly for a moment then turned to face Sam.

She bent over him and placed a single kiss against his burning forehead. He mewled at the cool pressure of her lips and leaned into the touch. Gently, she brushed away the hair plastered to his forehead, tracing her fingers along his jaw before removing her hand.

She placed the knife against her own arm and made a long, deep cut down her arm, lengthwise.

A hiss escaped her mouth. She was a demon and could survive this kind of blood loss, but she had never cut this deep.

She placed her arm in front of him, and his hot lips soon found it and began to suck desperately at it. She carded a hand gently thorough his sweat soaked hair, murmuring comforting nonsense syllables, slowly making her way down from where her hand sat in his hair to his shoulder. With a gentle caress she placed the knife against his skin and plunged it into his shoulder, making a deep, ragged gash.

Even as he cried out in pain, his mouth never left her arm.

She allowed the wound to flow freely, until it began to slow, then she put her mouth to it and began to suck.

Another small cry against her arm. She removed her mouth and spat the blood into the tub. She continued to suck his blood, then spit it away. The acrid taste the stale demon blood still running in his veins disgusted her, but she carried on. Because this was Sam, and really, what else could she do?

Eventually, after an eternity of this primitive healing technique, his blood began to run clean, and she even began to taste her own blood there. It was then that she pulled his face from her wound. He went, pliant. The fever was gone. His face was an unhealthy white, and his eyes were still bloodshot, but the worst was past.

His gorgeous hazel eyes slid shut and he collapsed against her.

That would be the blood loss talking.

XXX

Dean had a dangerous amount of emotion going on, and the last thing he needed were confused hormones and feeling like he was in middle school again.

Except in middle school he would have been out shooting things instead of shuffling awkwardly in front of his crush.

He wished he could have been out shooting stuff. Instead here he was, shuffling awkwardly in front of his crush.

Someone Up There hated him.

"Um. Hi Cas."

"Hello Dean." Cool as a cucumber. Dean hated him. "How is Sam?"

He knew this one. _Sam's in a filthy motel bathroom tub with a demon, who betrayed us by the way, having some form of blood orgy so he can recover from the bad blood the demon bastard we just made a deal with gave him. Yeah he's doing just great._

Knowing Castiel's history with sarcasm, and his love of smiting demons, that probably wasn't the best answer.

"He's been better."

Of course, he had appeared in front of Dean as he was loading the cart full of bottled water. His sudden appearance had elicited a shameful squeak from Dean, and the heads of the other customers turned to stare as Dean recovered from heart palpitations and Cas was staring concernedly at him.

So Dean had paid, and then made him help carry enough water to fill the Great Lakes to the Impala.

The task had taken enough of Dean's attention that he hadn't had to look at Cas, and now that he was behind the wheel of the Impala, he was singularly focused on the road.

"What do you want Cas?" So maybe that sounded a little harsh, but Dean didn't deal well with sexual tension. He usually just fucked and it was all good. Something told him that was a bad idea in this instance.

"I have located Lilith. I think we need to start as soon as Sam is healed."

So it was business. That was a good thing right? Dean could deal with business. He let out an explosive breath. "So you're not here 'cause we made out?"

Oops. So maybe he couldn't deal with business.

Cas didn't answer him. After a few minutes Dean found the courage to look at him. And found that the passenger seat was empty.

Fucking coward.

XXX

Once again it had been a long time since she had last smoked. That night on the hood of the Impala with Sam.

But here she was, sitting by a window that had protested so loudly when she had opened it she had thought a cat was dying outside, leaning out the flaking whitewash windowsill in the early morning light, the smoke curling away from the ignited tip of her cigarette into the grey fog rolling in.

There were already countless circular burn marks on the sill, so she carelessly stubbed out the butt creating yet another and flicked it away, reaching for another one.

Dean still wasn't back yet and it was actually making her nervous. Just because the fever had broken didn't mean Sam was out of the woods just yet. He was still dehydrated as hell and had lost a dangerous amount of blood.

She tapped the cigarette against the sill and watched the grey ash tumble to the cracked asphalt below her. Still watching the disintegrating ash, she brought the cigarette back to her lips inhaling slowly.

There was a small grunt behind her and she whipped around, reaching automatically for one of the many concealed knives on her person. She forced herself to relax, quite a feat when her muscles were tense already from the nicotine.

It was just Sam. He was sitting up, eyes half closed, still terribly bloodshot.

"You're smoking again," he observed.

She smirked. "It was always your brain that I loved about you."

He frowned. "You only do that when you're really stressed."

She inhaled another breath of smoke in favor of responding.

"What are you doing here?"

"Dean called me to save your ungrateful ass."

"Dean wouldn't."

"He did."

"You should leave before he gets back."

"You're not better yet."

"He'll kill you."

"He can try."

Sam's tired eyes flashed with something that tried to be anger, but fell short. "No. You two will not fight. I am so sick of you fighting. Can't you just get along?"

"Dean told you I betrayed you, right?"

He stared at his hands, blinking his eyes sluggishly with the sticky feeling of recent dehydration. "I was hoping he was lying."

She snorted. "If only. Crowley would have killed me if I hadn't brought you to him."

She didn't know what to expect. Probably anger, even if he was too exhausted to yell. But she wasn't expecting him to get even quieter. "You worked for him."

"The whole time. Ever since Denver." She knew she was being cruel, but that didn't matter. Sam was supposed to hate her. He should have always hated her. She was a demon, he was a Winchester. But instead they'd had the same unwelcome, unexpected, stirrings of affection, and it was too late to change that.

"Why?"

"He needed you to reach your full potential so that this would happen. So I would eventually lead you to him. He'd hoped that you'd be under my control completely by that point, but your brother reduced that plan to rubble. So I took you to him anyway, because he told me to."

"You changed your mind."

"No," she said, frustrated. "Are you missing the bit where I shot your brother in the leg and kidnapped you? Then tricked you into working for Crowley? Did that blood loss do something to your brain?"

"You're one hell of a liar, Ruby. You might even be good enough to convince yourself."

Her snide retort died in her throat. He continued, his eyes fixed on his hands.

"I can't completely trust you, even though I want to. I never should have, but I did. So this doesn't really change anything about us." His eyes found hers and they were still slightly glazed over from the dose of her own blood she'd given him. Still, he was shockingly lucid. "But I think, even though we still feel that same way we did, this changes everything else. We can't just go back to fighting. I can't trust you to have my back after a fight or do your job. You need to leave."

Her throat went dry. She put the forgotten cigarette to her lips and found nothing but filter. The tips of her fingers had burned and she hadn't felt a thing. She flicked it into the gray morning after its many predecessors.

"Not right now, you may still be helpful and that might keep Dean from killing you, but once I'm better, we need to go our separate ways."

Really this should have been a good thing. She hadn't expected things to end on terms this good. She thought she'd never see him again and if she did it would be on the wrong side of his blade, but here he was, practically confessing his love to her while giving her the most pleasant break up possible under the circumstances. Because that's who Sam was. He wouldn't even break a demon's heart.

It was a goodbye, which is better than she had thought she was going to get.

That didn't mean it didn't hurt.

"That's probably a good idea," she said, and turned to the open window to continue her smoke.

A few minutes later she heard him lie back down with a slight exhalation of pain and his breathing evened out as sleep took him again.

Her hand shook as she lit the next in her chain of cigarettes.

The smoke stung as she pulled it through her airways. She held it in too long until she could almost feel the suffocating pain of Hell.

**Author's Note: **Hell yes. This thing is almost done and the pace will be going much more rapidly, I hope. Look, it was up in less than a month. In juxtaposition with last chapter, this is really fast... That is honestly pretty sad. Love all you guys.

_Next Time…_

_ "I just want you to be happy," Sam finally said quietly. "That's all I ever really wanted."_


	26. Chapter 26

_Previously…_

_ It was a goodbye, which is better than she had thought she was going to get._

_ That didn't mean it didn't hurt._

When Dean entered the motel room the first thing that hit him was the unpleasant smell of smoke and blood.

His brother was passed out on the bed and Ruby was sitting cross legged on the other one watching him sleep, unblinking.

It was creepy as fuck.

He coughed, hoping she was look up and away from his little brother.

She didn't.

He tried again.

"What's the verdict Doc?" He asked sarcastically.

This time she did glance up at him. For about half a second. "Have you got that water? And the iron supplements?"

"Yes."

"As long as he keeps drinking and taking those he'll be fine. You're in charge of his welfare now, _Nurse_ Dean."

She was smirking now, probably picturing him in a hot nurse outfit.

"I can take care of him," he said.

"You better," she responded. She was staring at Sam again.

That was too much. "You shouldn't even care."

"I know."

She was supposed to rise to that bait, so that they could growl and circle each other as they always had. But no, she had just taken it. It was a little frustrating.

"I'm going," she said. "He asked me to. I don't think he meant right away, but it's a lot easier this way." Her intense glare had found Dean's and he almost shivered, but that would have been a sign of weakness. "Take care of him, remember he needs to hydrate, and don't move him unless it's completely necessary for at least two days. And no hunting for a few weeks."

Dean nodded. Good riddance.

Slowly, she uncrossed her legs and stood, crossing to where Sam slept. Barely perceptibly, she touched his cheek, which was a little gaunt from his ordeal. Just as subtle was the tiny, heartbroken smile at the corner of her lips.

Dean looked away. He wasn't supposed to see this. If he saw it he might rip her throat out.

When he looked back, she was gone, out the door, leaving only the scent of nicotine and blood in her wake.

XXX

Sam's throat had been inhabited by the Sahara Desert.

At least, that's what it felt like.

The pain of it woke him up with a coughing fit. Dean was next to him in seconds with a bottle of water.

Sam made a vague grateful gesture before chugging the water.

Cliché, but just like an oasis.

"Ruby?" He croaked out when he finally felt like he could talk.

Dean shook his head somberly. "She left."

Sam just nodded.

"Look, Sam, I know I'm not the best role model, But maybe this is for the best."

"I know. I know." He continued after a long pause. "Got any beer?"

XXX

Despite the empirical evidence that alcohol is dehydrating, the Winchesters still held the firm belief in its recuperative powers.

"Cas found Lilith," Dean said, pressing the cold glass of his beer bottle to his forehead. "He didn't say where but he'll come back and tell us eventually. Besides we can't move you yet."

Sam nodded. He still felt like a fire was raging jut underneath his skin. "Of course anyone could get to her by the time I _am_ ready to go."

"I'll get Cas to look out for her."

Sam snorted.

"What?"

"Nothing, just thinking that you really could convince him to protect a demon."

"He's helping us stop the apocalypse. He doesn't want the world to end any more than we do."

"But since it's you asking… Look. He's done a lot for you, for both of us, and I think you need to accept that. Show him a little appreciation. He deserves it."

"Why can't you?"

"Just…" Sam paused, waving his bottle in a sweeping gesture. "Just talk to him Dean. Please."

Dean's throat went dry. He soothed it with a mouthful of beer.

"I just want you to be happy," Sam finally said quietly. "That's all I ever really wanted."

Dean's tongue felt like lead. "I'm sorry."

Sam's eyebrows quirked so he looked like a confused puppy. "What for?"

Dean coughed awkwardly. "For, you know, how it turned out with Ruby."

Sam winced but shrugged it off. "She's a demon. I should have known better."

Now it was Dean's turn to wince.

"We'll always be hunters first," Sam continued. "I just forgot that for a while."

"Well she was very persuasive," Dean said with a smirk.

Sam punched him weakly, but Dean thought he saw a small smile at the corner of his lips. He pushed on.

"Come on man, don't leave me in the dark, I want dirty details."

Sam made a face reminiscent of when he was younger and faced with baked eggplant the first and only time Dean had tried to be a responsible older brother and actually cook something healthy. "You perverted old man."

"Was it kinky?" Dean asked, Sam was struggling to kick him, but Dean easily evaded him. "She seems like the type. I bet it was bondage. Did she spank you, and call you a very naughty boy?"

"Go away," Sam whined, bitchface set in all its glory. "Do you like it when I ask about your many sexual exploits?"

"I don't know, you never have. I've tried to tell you many times but you just turn up the radio. And you _hate_ my music."

"I don't need to know. I really don't."

"Fine," Dean sighed melodramatically, satisfied that the mood had lightened. "You don't know what you're missing."

"Don't want to."

So the many issues at hand that should have been discussed were once more shoved to the back burner.

XXX

They fell into a restless pattern.

Sam would sleep, and often refuse food until Dean glared him into it.

Dean would sit, tapping his foot unceasingly until Sam glared him out of it. He watched porn until it created a Pavlovian reaction of boredom.

He caught up on _Dr. Sexy M.D. _and _Passions_. He did this while Sam slept so he would never have to know.

Eventually even Dr. Sexy was not enough to keep Dean in the one room, so he began driving when it became unbearable.

With no real destination in mind, he usually headed straight out of town and circled it, keeping to rural roads. Then he'd find a newspaper and read about all the potential cases that they could be solving.

Sam said he was a masochist.

Eventually, Sam could move on his own and became equally uncomfortable with staying in one place.

So they left.

Not that Sam looked any better, especially judging by the look the woman who'd checked them out of the motel had given him. He was still pale and his cheeks and eyes looked hollow, the dark rings under his eyes smudged like bruises.

But they were leaving anyway, the Impala speeding down some anonymous highway.

Of course, moving meant that they were a little bit closer to having to help Lilith, which can't have been doing wonders for Sam's disposition. Or Dean's for that matter.

For the past couple days, Dean had been studiously avoiding talking to Castiel, despite the need for information. Unfortunately, that need was becoming more and more imminent.

Dean sighed. It was time to confront these weird feelings like a man: shut them away and ignore them. It had been a good long time since he'd actually felt something for someone, he could repress it a little longer.

Besides, it was doomed from the start. Just looking at how Ruby had affected his brother showed him that he didn't want to be at all involved with a supernatural creature. It was asking for disaster. Also, it wasn't even his body, a very much _male_ body, so Dean really shouldn't be attracted to him. And Cas was probably the most emotionally repressed person ever, perhaps even more so than Dean. Not a good combination.

So no. Him and Cas. No. Not a good idea at all.

"Hello."

Dean almost drove off the road.

"Shit Cas, you can't keep doing that," Dean said, hoping that wasn't a blush spreading across his cheeks. "Give a little warning." Yep, definitely a blush.

"Apologies, I merely noticed that you were moving for the first time in days and thought now would be the best time to offer my services in finding Lilith."

"Uh," Dean said eloquently, refusing to make eye contact with him in the rearview mirror.

Sam saved him. "So where is she? Are we headed in the right direction?"

"She is currently in Eugene, Oregon."

"Should we, I don't know, call you when we get there to, um, narrow it down?" Dean asked, in broken stumbling phrases. He ignored Sam's questioning look.

Cas nodded. "I'll be there as soon as I can." With barely a sound, the back seat was empty again.

Sam was staring at him.

"What?" Sam finally asked.

"What?"

"You know what."

"No I don't know what."

"What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with your face?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Okay, really, what are you, eleven?"

"_You're_ eleven."

"Come on, Dean, just tell me what's got you acting so weird."

"I'm not acting weird."

"Convincing. I know you. Something was making you uncomfortable. The only things I know of that do that are emotions and small dogs. So what's up?"

"Nothing is up."

"Is it Cas?"

"No." Dean winced, he left too long a pause before answering.

Sam remained unconvinced. "Did you fight?"

"No."

"Throw me a bone here."

"Nothing is going on, let it go."

"You are the most frustrating human being on the face of the planet," Sam said, turning toward the window in defeat.

"I know you are but what…"

"Dean!"

XXX

She had considered buying prostitutes' souls again, but it didn't feel the same.

Call it sentimentality, but she was unwilling to let this body go to waste. It was a perfectly good, empty shell.

Besides, Sam had liked it.

What was the world coming to? The apocalypse must be nigh. Frogs are falling from the sky, swarms of locusts, oceans of blood, nostalgic demons.

She knew something was very wrong when a crossroads deal had turned into a therapy session, and the girl, who should have been back with her ex for ten years, left with her soul and a future with no ex-boyfriend in it.

So maybe she had lost her touch.

Crowley was going to get on her case about that.

This was how she ended up in a bar, drinking not enough to actually get drunk because she didn't have the money, which was actually really pathetic. She should have just stolen it.

This was also how she ended up fucking tall-with-hazel-eyes-and-dimples-number-two in the dark alleyway against a brick wall.

XXX

Cas made another impromptu visit that night.

Sam was sleeping, with his face pressed against the window in a way that Dean would never cease to find adorable.

"Dean."

"What now Cas?"

"This is me warning you."

Dean stared at him in the rearview mirror. Then laughed and laughed. "A bit late this time."

"Lilith has moved."

"Oh shit. At this rate we'll never catch up with her."

"My thoughts exactly. My solution is that you and I find her and Sam can take the car and meet with us while we detain her."

"What, us, like just us?"

"Yes, Dean."

"Can't Sam do it? He's not in a state to drive."

"As you have often claimed, my mode of travel is uncomfortable, it would be doubly so for Sam in this state. Also he can rest in one place while we find her."

That made too much sense for Dean to argue it further without embarrassing himself.

"Fine, we'll go demon hunting in the morning."

**Author's Note:** I'm so sorry, I'm practically done with this so I legitimately was not expecting this to take so long. And on top of that it's a terrible chapter. I'm building up to some stuff and that never goes well. I suck so much, I'm sorry.

_Next Time…_

"_But if I don't," Dean said, increasingly frustrated. "It's only the end of the world."_


	27. Chapter 27

_Previously…_

_ "Fine, we'll go demon hunting in the morning."_

Sam wasn't entirely happy about the plan.

"So I have to sit around and wait for you to do all the work? I've been bored as hell."

"Maybe this is for the best, Sammy," Dean said, trying for a placating tone. Sam's bitchface told him he had failed. "I mean, I need someone to look after my baby, and you're the only one I trust." Still no good. "You still need rest." It got even worse. "I just don't want you getting hurt again."

Sam's face warmed just a little bit.

Dean grinned internally in triumph. Sam was such a girl.

"Fine," Sam said through gritted teeth, and Dean knew he'd won. "Call me the instant you find her."

"Will do."

Sam nodded, throat constricting. "Take care of yourself."

"Always do."

"Yeah right," Sam snorted disbelievingly. "Thankfully you have Cas to watch your ass."

"There will be no ass watching," Dean said, overly defensive. He got a confused look for his troubles.

XXX

Dean was gone when Sam woke up, which really, he should have expected.

Dean sucked at goodbyes, even with his brother. Berating himself, Sam took a look around the room that would be his home for an indefinite amount of time.

Until they found Lilith.

The thought of her made his blood boil. He should have her head on a platter by now, but then the freaking apocalypse shows up and killing Lilith would only make things worse.

But they shouldn't have to protect her.

He wondered when this had become their lives. When dealing with demons became the norm, when they became the lesser of two evils.

Probably that night in Denver. The first deal with a demon they made. With Ruby.

Thinking of her also made his blood boil, but there was confusion too. She tricked them, betrayed them, worked against them. Enslaved him, hooked him. And he should hate her, should have killed her when he woke up and she had her back turned, smoking out the open window.

He should have gotten up, silently, crossed the room to her. Maybe she would turn around and open her mouth. Maybe she would see it in his eyes and there would be fear in hers. Maybe she wouldn't turn. He would sneak up behind her and take the knife from her boot and stab her in the back. No, she would have noticed, would have expected it, would be ready. She'd fight back. Probably kill him. End it all.

But the thought hadn't crossed his mind. Not once. He didn't even think to kill her.

XXX

"So, Lilith, mother of evil, and keeper of crossroads deals, is living on Haight Street?"

Cas nodded. "The Fault lines align on the west coast in a way that appeals to demons."

"So, she's in San Francisco?"

"Most likely."

"Most likely?"

"She has been moving often. She knows someone is following her."

"She's probably got a big target painted on her back if her death starts the end of the world," Dean observed. "I'd be on the run too."

Cas inclined his head in agreement. "And conflicted. As a demon, she should want the end of the world, but she values her life, no doubt."

"So," Dean said, peeking at the tall pink town house. "What now, do we knock on the door?"

XXX

Neither of the Winchesters did well with inactivity. Dean developed nervous tics and tapped his foot incessantly and made regular pie runs. Sam obsessively researched possible jobs they could be doing.

There were no possible jobs. He had to wait for Dean and Cas to find Lilith and then drive there and act as demonic bodyguard. He wouldn't have time for a hunt. So he took a leaf out of Dean's book and found himself in a bar with one too many shot glasses in front of him.

The dingy surroundings became a bit of a blur.

Sam was beginning to see the benefits of binge drinking. His normal drinking habits left the world and his mind mildly hazy and less painful. The sharp edges softened and rounded, padded like a childproofed room.

He needed a childproofed life.

This drinking wasn't mildly anything. The haziness that appealed to him originally had become almost total numbness. His thoughts still strayed toward Ruby, but brooding was just depressing, not painful. The sharp edges were gone. And he no longer felt the need to be doing something.

This was the opposite of what blood did to him. Stimulating every sensation and emotion. His life was like a cut crystal then, bright and hard and shining. The good was better and that bad worse.

Now there was nothing.

And he liked it.

He began to understand why his brother drowned himself in alcohol and buried himself with women.

XXX

"Really, it's not like we can just waltz in there," Dean said. "You're an angel, she'd freak out and either get violent or run, either way, we're fucked."

Cas nodded. "But what do we do then?"

Dean sighed. "I have no clue. We can't just talk to her. She's not going to listen to a hunter and an angel." He paused, his face smoothing out. "I'll have to go in alone. She knows who I am, what I might want with her, and she probably won't view me as a threat."

"Absolutely not," Cas said. "There is a reason she wouldn't view you as a threat. She would kill you the instant you walk in there."

"And? I have you out here for back up."

"We should just go in there, like we did with Crowley."

"No, we were trying to threaten Crowley, it wouldn't work in this situation."

"Dean, I won't let you in there alone."

Silence followed this little outburst, and Dean stared, mouth gaping.

"Sorry Cas, but Sam and I have been taking these kinds of risks long before you came along."

"Lilith is like nothing you've faced before. She can kill you with a thought. If you walk in there you will die."

"But if I don't," Dean said, increasingly frustrated. "It's only the end of the world."

There was another silence as neither of them refused to back down or even blink. Dean set his jaw stubbornly and crossed his arms, completely sure that he was right in this case.

Finally, Cas seemed to relax and he took a step back.

"Of course," he said. And vanished.

Dean blinked in shock.

A yelp and a crash emanated from inside the house they had been facing.

Letting out a stream of highly creative curses, Dean snatched his gun from where it was leaning against a tree and bolted for the front door.

XXX

The brunette was giving him the look. He knew that look, it was the look Dean always got.

It must have been the alcohol in his system, but she reminded him so strongly of Ruby that it hurt. It wasn't necessarily the looks, but there was an aura about both of them.

It was that aura, that familiarity, that probably led him to allow himself to be dragged out of the bar and to a ramshackle building in the industrial part of town that looked like it was ready to be torn down.

Or it may have been the alcohol.

It should have been a tip off instead of a lure.

He was never going to try Dean's way of life ever again. He got drunk and tried to hook up with a complete stranger and look where it got him.

Pinned to the floor of a condemned building by a bunch of demons.

"Careful boys," the voice of the brunette drawled. "We need him alive and it would be such a shame to mess with that pretty face."

Sam stopped struggling for a moment to get a good look at his captor.

She grinned, one side of her mouth coming higher than the other. "Hi Sam."

He frowned, trying to place her. He'd know if she was Ruby, wouldn't he?

"You don't recognize me, do you?" she said, her smile widening if possible. "True I got a new body, but I thought you'd recognize me, after all, I was you're first."

He blinked slowly. "My first?"

"First demon, first exorcism…"

"Meg," he said with a sigh. "What do you want? You said you needed me alive."

"Ooh, down to business, low on foreplay. I like it," she said arching one eyebrow. Sam rolled his eyes. "I want you to kill Lilith."

Sam snorted. "Yeah right, like I want to end the world."

"There's something in it for you."

"No more deals, I am done dealing with demons."

"You know you're brother's still going to Hell."

All protests died in Sam's throat. "What?"

"When he dies for the second time, he'll go back to Hell. Just because he went and came back doesn't mean he's off the hook."

Sam sagged and stopped struggling altogether. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because there's a way out," Meg replied.

"Killing Lilith," he said, resigned.

"On the nose, Sammy."

"You're lying. An angel brought him back, that's got to save his soul in some way."

Her eyes were full of mock pity. "You know I'm right. So, it comes down to your biggest weakness. Are you going to choose to save the world, or your brother?"

XXX

Dean kicked down the door, pointing gun first into the room.

Lilith stood, frozen, still in the same blonde meatsuit in which she had taken Dean's soul. Castiel's hand was resting barely on her forehead.

Neither of them moved.

"Okay," he said slowly, taking in the scene. "You ready to listen?" He asked Lilith.

She glared at him. Not saying a word.

"We were sent by Crowley…"

He barely even got the name out before Lilith hissed loudly, cutting him off. "That bastard," she said vehemently, still afraid to move with the threat of Castiel's smite imminent. "He told me he would keep his Winchesters on a leash. Two faced, fucking…"

"We're not here to kill you," Dean said, ending her tirade.

She gave him a disbelieving look and flicked her eyes up to the hand on her forehead. "Really?"

"Okay," Dean said. "So we're not exactly on the friendliest of terms, but if you die, something bad happens."

"Yes, yes, the end of the world, I know. I'm the one who sent you to Hell in the first place, remember?"

He glared at her coldly. "Clearly."

"Now, I don't exactly want to die…"

"Exactly!" Dean said, pouncing on the subject. "The deal was to keep you from dying."

She stared at him for a second and broke into peals of laughter. "You? Really? That's the best he can do?"

Offended, Dean tried to speak up over her laughter. "Look, I know we're human, but Sam…"

"I know all about Sam and his 'abilities'. But how much longer do you think he'll be able to keep that up?" She was smirking now, the laugh still lurking in her eyes. "He's already burning up from too much blood and power. He's going to crash soon if you don't stop him. You're human, with a knife, a tiring brother and a pet angel. Think about it, you're against the hordes of Hell. Almost every single demon out there wants my head on a platter in order to raise their glorious Father from the pit, and you think you could stop them? If Lucifer wants me dead, then I'm as good as."

"But, you aren't even going to fight it?" Dean said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Oh I am. I was in hiding until you two barged in here and gave me away. But I have a better chance of hiding without you 'protecting me'," she said with an ironic smirk.

"So what now?" Dean asked, completely thrown.

"Now, I think I'll be leaving before every demon within a fifteen mile radius is swarming this place. Thank you for the offer, but I'm better off on my own." She glared pointedly at Castiel's hand and hesitantly he lifted it.

She stepped away and grabbed a leather duffel bag from the white couch next to her. "It's been a pleasure boys, and best of luck for the end of the world." She turned her smirk to full force and faced Dean. "See you in Hell."

And then she was gone.

"That…" Dean said. "Was unexpected."

XXX

Sam opened his mouth to respond, though he had no idea what to say when a sharp, very familiar voice cut across him.

"Well. It seems Dean can't take care of you."

Meg whipped around to face the source of the voice, and Sam, recovering from his shock and trained to use any advantage in a fight against beings much stronger than himself, broke free of the demons pinning him, kneeing one in the diaphragm and slamming the back of his head into the other's nose.

His sudden motion turned Meg's attention back to him. Her eyes flicked black and fear crossed her face as she turned to face the newcomer and back to Sam, fighting off the two goons. She seemed to reach a decision and fled.

One demon had Sam in a headlock, and he was blocking punches from the other, when the demons facing him stopped, and his black eyes went lifeless, slipping from where he'd been stuck by a blade.

The demon holding him down soon realized he was out numbered and followed Meg's example.

They didn't bother following him.

Sam simply glared at his savior. "You."

**Author's Note:** Hi! It's been a while, sorry, but things have been hectic and now they're finally calming down. Shit, I probably just jinxed it. Anyway, I love you all and I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next one is going to be really good. I think. But it probably won't be. Anyway.

_Next Time…_

_ "Dean," Castiel said. "I think it is time we addressed the events that keep occurring between us."_


	28. Chapter 28

_Previously…_

"_It's been a pleasure boys, and best of luck for the end of the world." She turned her smirk to full force and faced Dean. "See you in Hell."_

_And…_

_Sam simply glared at his savior. "You."_

"Well, she didn't want our help," Dean said, running his hand through his hair in a frustrated gesture. "She seems to think her death is inevitable and we'd be useless. So the apocalypse is probably going to happen." He laughed, and, realizing himself how maniacal he must have sounded, stopped and leaned against the wall sighing. "We're fucked aren't we?"

His eyes slid to where Cas was standing stiffly, eyes unblinkingly on him. In a quick involuntary gesture a flash of tongue swept across his chapped bottom lip.

The motion sent a shiver down Dean's spine that ended in a contrasting pool of heat low in his stomach.

Fuck, he thought. It's happening again.

XXX

"I'm thinking I'm not going to get a thank you, am I?" Ruby said, not reacting to his death glare.

Sam didn't respond, simply continued to glare at her, unable to speak due to shock, hurt, anger, fear and a twisting in his heart that he couldn't really put a name to.

"And that's probably a 'no'."

"What are you doing here?"

"I followed you from the bar. Where I was doing demony shit"

"My job is to kill demons," he said coldly, taking a step toward her. She didn't so much as flinch. "Taking souls?"

"Buying souls, please. It's a business transaction." She didn't know which was worse, him thinking she was acting like any other demon, or him knowing the truth. She'd been there to forget him.

The side of his mouth pulled up in a smirk. "Of course it is." He took another step toward her. "It was business when you betrayed us?"

"No," she said levelly, trying to ignore the fact that he was getting ever closer to her. "That one was a matter of survival."

His eyes flashed with anger and suddenly she couldn't ignore his approach anymore. He backed her against the wall, close enough that she could feel the heat emanating from his chest. His arms came up to form a cage around her head and he leaned in closer, breath stirring the short hairs at the nape of her neck.

"Survival?" He muttered. "You think that if Crowley didn't kill you, we wouldn't have found you eventually? That maybe I didn't appreciate being his bitch and maybe I'd feel a little resentment towards the bitch who made it happen?"

She swallowed. Adrenaline was singing through her veins, a product of his proximity and murmured threats.

"I could kill you right now," he said, and her stomach plunged.

She laughed. "No you couldn't. You're not juiced anymore," she smiled up at him, all teeth. "Delicious isn't it? To kill me you need my help."

She couldn't see a trace of hazel in his eyes anymore. They burned into her darkly for a second before he grabbed her hips and slammed her into the wall, leaving a Ruby-shaped dent. The space between them disappeared and they were flush together. She felt her feet leave the ground and instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist for balance.

"You know what I did to Perinet?" He asked, lips right against her ear, hands still gripping her hips to bruise. "Do you?" he repeated, fingers digging harder into her flesh.

"No," she said breathlessly, by turns terrified and aroused, unsure if he meant to kill her or fuck her. Or if she even knew the difference anymore.

"I killed him. Using his own blood. I led him out of the club and slammed him up against a brick wall," he reiterated this fact by swinging their joined hips away from and back into the already dented wall. "I bit him. Broke the skin and drank his blood." His mouth trailed from her ear leaving a soft trail to her throat where he left a stinging bite. "I got him to beg," he said, mouth gently making its way back to the base of her ear. "Would you beg for your life?"

She didn't know if she could coherently answer, but she didn't have to as he continued.

"I can feel it," his voice had thickened and she shivered in reaction to the changed tone, bucking her pinned hips futilely against his in search of any form of friction. "I can feel your blood pulsing through your veins." He mouthed her pulse point, barely scraping it with teeth. "It would be so easy for me to bite down. Take your power away and leave you dead. You deserve nothing less."

It was a death threat, and a proposition. Of all the ways to go, being screwed to death by Sam Winchester couldn't possibly be the worst.

She slammed her hands against the wall, pushing them both away so they collided hard with the floor. The wood groaned and buckled beneath the force.

"Sam," she said, grinning down at his still burning eyes. "I'm not going to beg for my life," she lowered her lips to his ears, her soft ringlets tickling his face. "I'm going to fight you for it."

XXX

Cas was still staring at him and it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the effect that was having on him.

"Dean," Castiel said. "I think it is time we addressed the events that keep occurring between us."

Dean's heart took a plunge. "What events would you be speaking of?"

Cas gave him a look as though he was the lowest form of intelligent life and didn't even dignify the question with a response. Instead he continued. "I am not truly familiar with the mating habits of humans"—Dean flinched visibly at the word 'mating'—"for they are very confusing, and many emotions are involved. When the desire for copulation"—another flinch—"is mutual and exclusive, purely for the pleasure of both parties involved, the approach is simpler, a question is asked, and then intercourse occurs." Castiel's brow creased as a thought occurred to him. "Though often, a confusing and pointless exchange of alcoholic beverages comes first, which I am still puzzling over. But the point remains, that if the only thing the people feel is physiological arousal then the direct approach is taken. However, when they feel something for each other, attraction, love, infatuation, the process becomes complicated and I have been able to learn nothing from observing the millions of these situations around the world, for each one is different and the only thing in common it seems is that they feel some illogical inability to express these feelings and they procrastinate, even when it is painfully obvious to everyone but them that what they feel is mutual. So, the point is that emotion seems to complicate the otherwise simple act of sexual interactions. You, Dean, are a prime example of this. For you, sex is easy. It seems to follow you almost as much as trouble. You manage to get it through sheer charm and good looks. And yet, you feel nothing for this string of women. You leave town the next day and never have to see them again. These… events that keep happening to us seem to be driven by physiological need, in which case the solution would inevitably be sex. And yet, we haven't," at this point, for the first time in his speech, Cas blushed. "The only other answer being that there are emotions involved. Which could be…"

"Cas," Dean said, cutting him off, and wide blue eyes snapped back to his. His voice was rough and he was pretty sure he was going to regret this. "Are you…?" He coughed and almost laughed if the situation hadn't been so awkward. "Are you asking me if I like you?"

Cas opened his mouth and blushed furiously. "That question is base and I would not…"

Dean cut him off again. "Yes." Definitely going to regret this.

Cas stopped, shut his mouth and stared. "What?"

"Yes, I like you," he said, feeling like a preteen girl. "I want you. You make me confused and uncomfortable and I want you. So bad that it hurts sometimes." He laughed a little and nervously ran his shaking fingers through his hair. "I mean, shit. It doesn't make sense at all, does it? But I guess we're stuck going the slow and confusing way."

Cas blinked and his lips formed an O of shock. "In which case, Dean," he said, breaking out of his shock and into his usual serious composure. "Would you hold me?"

XXX

She threaded her fingers through his hair and yanked, pulling his lips from hers. He growled in response and bit her shoulder, leaving an already purpling bruise. She grunted and wound her legs around him in order to push even further against him.

They both gasped and momentarily forgot that this was meant to hurt and scar. In that moment, she lifted her hips and rolled them gently against his and his soft lips found the recently marked shoulder and kissed it gently. His hands found her undulating hips and squeezed and the moment was gone and they were back to rutting and biting and rolling like animals. He rolled back on top of her and gave tiny desperate thrusts, each seeming to find deeper purchase, making her keen and dig eight matching slashes down his back with her nails. The pain shuddered through him as she drew blood.

They both felt it as the floor began to give beneath them, but too caught up in their animalistic passion to really care about the possible dangers.

"You, oh fuck," she said as his teeth ground into the flesh covering her collar bone. "Couldn't kill me."

"Oh yeah?" he asked, pausing to moan as she thrust back up at him. "Why's that?"

"Perinet didn't know—ah—know you. Fuck. I know all your tricks. I've…I've seen you fight too many times."

"Haven't we—oh god—fucked too many times… too?"

She could no longer respond. "Oh fuck it. Harder! I know you can, Winchester."

He complied and their growls and shrieks and moans fell in time with the cracking and creaking of the floor.

She began to laugh. "I think we're tearing the house apart."

And the ground gave beneath them.

As they plummeted, and their stomachs rose to their throats and death seemed imminent, they clutched each other tighter and their eyes flew open and connected just as a wave of endorphins and adrenaline coursed through them. Orgasm still ripping through them, they landed on their sides, unable to move as all the air left their lungs.

XXX

This should probably be more awkward than it is.

It could have been much worse. Dean had cuddled enough times in his life that he just might have to use two hands to count them all. And at least half of those had been purely platonic.

This… This was different. This was nice. Contact with other people wasn't usually nice for Dean. Painful? Yes. Athletically erotic? Yes. Pleasant? Not often. Underneath the pleasantness, there was still that want, but simply touching him seemed to be enough.

And that in itself was fucking terrifying.

Dean's heart nearly stopped when Cas made a contented sound deep in his chest and he froze.

"Don't stop," Cas said, voice low and rough, sending a shiver down Dean's spine. "That felt pleasant."

Dean hadn't realized that his fingers had been carding through Castiel's hair, but he resumed immediately, rewarded with that low sound again.

He tilted his head forward from where it had been leaning against the wall and opened his eyes. Their limbs were tangled and sprawled across the floor, and his hand that wasn't occupied with thick, soft, hair, was loosely clasped with Castiel's. He took a second to marvel at how natural that seemed. While there was no way Cas had ever done a day of hard manual labor, his fingers were much more calloused then other, more delicate, hands Dean had held. Dean had his own calluses in unusual places from firing far more guns than the average human being. Yet they fit.

Absolutely terrifying.

"Dean," Cas said calmly from where his head was padded on Dean's shoulder.

"Hmm?"

"I believe my arm is going numb."

Dean snorted and shifted so Cas could remove his arm from behind him. This resulted in them sliding further down the wall and onto the floor.

Cas moved his arm so it rested across Dean's stomach, lightly tracing his side with his fingers.

"Maybe," Dean said, already hating himself for it. "Maybe we should move. Lilith was probably right about every demon in town showing up pretty soon."

Reluctantly they sat up, stretching out the cramped muscles.

"I should call Sam," Dean said.

XXX

"We could start our own business."

Groaning in pain and clutching his bruised, possibly cracked, ribs, he turned to face her again. She had a playful smirk at the very corner of her lips, and he desperately wanted to kiss it off of her. That seemed counterproductive, though. "What?"

"Ruby and Sam's Demolition," she said dramatically. "I'm thinking our motto could be 'we have fun while we work'."

He snorted. "Might want to work on the motto. I don't think it'll fit on the van.

"How about, 'Fuckn'Wreck'?"

"Getting there. Might make a good name." Sam paused as the sharp buzzing of a phone cut him off. "Is that you?"

She shook her head. "Mine's not on vibrate."

So Sam rolled to his feet, every muscle in his body protesting, to find his phone. It had fallen nearby and was hidden beneath a pile of rubble that used to be the floor above.

It was a miracle it still worked.

"Dean?"

"Sammy, Cas and I found Lilith," Sam's heart did a double beat. "But there have been complications. How soon can you be in San Francisco?"

"Probably tomorrow?"

"Okay, we need to talk."

"I'll see you then."

"Wait! Sam!"

"What?"

"Did you get laid? You sound fucked out."

Sam paused, once again stunned by the pure immaturity of his brother. "Really Dean?"

"Was she hot? Brunette?" Dean was on a roll now. "Oh, you sound really fucked out, I bet she was a red head, they're real spitfires in bed."

"I'm hanging up now, Dean."

"There was this one time…"

Sam hung up.

Ruby cocked an eyebrow at him.

He gave her a tight, embarrassed smile.

**Author's Note:** It's test week and my body has decided to betray me once again. I ALWAYS get sick this time of year. I swear my immune system hates me. Anyway, now that I got that out of the way, I'm almost done with this monster! And I already have outlines and random scenes for like three other huge ideas. Why. Love you all, thank you for reading. I hope you liked it, I am rather proud of this chapter.

_Next Time…_

"_We should be doing something. We can't just take this lying down. Too much is on the line."_


	29. Chapter 29

_Previously…_

_ "Because there's a way out," Meg replied._

_ "Killing Lilith," he said, resigned_.

Very few words had been spoken.

They had stood, dressed, avoided eye contact, and, only once muttering awkward apologies when they bumped injured limbs together.

Sam couldn't look at her. The sharp edges the alcohol had taken away were back with a vengeance. Each time he looked at her and saw the way she flicked her hair or bit her lip when she thought he wasn't looking, or her smirk when she knew he was, his heart constricted a little more.

It reminded him of Jess, in a twisted way. His heart would do painful things when he saw her small endearing traits. They were usually pleasant things, more like his heart might explode rather than implode. She had also bitten her lip just like that when she was stressed, or uncomfortable.

It bothered him to no end that he couldn't stop comparing Jess and Ruby. It was unfair to all parties involved.

He had finished dressing first and left, feeling her burning gaze at his back, but refusing to return it.

They hadn't said good bye.

XXX

On the mad drive Northwest, Sam tried to tune out his brain, but one of the dangers of freeway night driving was the complete lack of distraction. No cars, no wildlife. He owned the road at this time of night.

It was the kind of thing Dean reveled in, a zen bonding moment with his baby, but Sam needed the frustration with other people. Anger at someone other than himself, and a way to direct his thoughts away from demons and their associated problems.

He was alone with his thoughts.

XXX

He wished Cas was here. This was new. He'd never wanted someone who wasn't his own flesh and blood, which Bobby counted as, with him. Just insane. Totally insane.

He'd said something about his divine business that needed attending to, but Dean hadn't really been paying attention. He was paying more attention to the way his lips had formed O's or how he'd bit his lower lip when he started a word with F.

He'd made the word "from" look sexy.

And he'd had no idea.

This was probably the kind of thing he should be talking about.

However, he wasn't sure if he wanted to be told this was about his repressed intimacy issues that somehow made the first person he was close to who wasn't his family seem like a bigger deal than it was.

He didn't have intimacy issues.

He was the king of intimacy.

He could get intimate with anyone at anytime.

Then again, he hadn't gotten "intimate" since Anna. There was the failure the night of the demon blood debacle with Denise.

Well he had been in Hell. That would kill even Dean's libido.

The Celibacy started months before Hell.

There hadn't been time. He'd been busy with fighting.

He had never been too busy before.

Okay, so maybe there was an irrational reason. What? Was he "saving himself"? Had Hell rehymenated him?

Sure, why not?

Only the Catholic Church can do that.

But he'd come back completely reborn, with no old scars and a complexion like a baby's butt.

What if…

Oh come on, it was a joke.

Right?

Oh shit.

Was he really going to have to lose his virginity? Again? To an angel?

Oh fuck, where did that thought come from?

He didn't think his mind was capable of such levels of sentimentality. His first loss of virginity hadn't been anything special, wouldn't want to break a pattern.

Nope, stopping thinking about virgins now.

It was a stupid thought anyway.

He was going to blame his internal voice. The one that showed up all the time and sounded a lot like Sam.

Sam was the girl.

He bet Sam's first time had been all roses and sickening teenage romance. Actually, it had probably been with a monster.

Ew. This was even worse.

Stupid brain.

He turned on the TV, hoping to find that _Dr. Sexy MD_ would be on.

Oh, Dr. Sexy. His convoluted romantic life made Dean's almost feel normal. Even of there weren't any angels involved.

At least they weren't fucking in the medical supply cupboard. And the emotions were less messy.

And Cas hadn't cried.

Yet.

XXX

When Sam walked in the door hours later _Dr. Sexy_ had ended, and Dean was watching an old Bond flick.

"Sean Connery is a bad ass," Dean said, in response to Sam's look. "The epitome of man."

"Well, when you're done admiring the epitome of man," Sam said, dodging the pillow aimed at his head. "We should probably talk."

Dean groaned and turned the TV off, facing his brother.

"So, what now?" Sam started.

"We're screwed?"

Sigh. "I guess."

"We should be doing something. We can't just take this lying down. Too much is on the line."

"Dean, it's a dead end. We find her, and the same thing happens. She'll just keep running."

"I know. We have to hope she runs fast enough."

"Drink?"

"Please."

XXX

It was quite a few drinks later, otherwise the topic never would have come up.

They were talking again. About feelings.

Alcohol was evil. It kept doing this to him. All the times it had gotten him laid, and now it was betraying him.

"So, I'm not stupid," Sam said.

"Could have fooled me."

Sam then gave him one of his most withering looks. "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."

Dean snorted. Whenever Sam didn't dignify him with a response, he counted it as a win.

"There's something going on between you and Cas."

Dean snorted again, this time, inhaling half his glass, leading to a vigorous coughing fit. Well played Sammy, well played indeed.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Dean…"

"What do you want me to say?"

"You need to talk about it."

"You didn't tell me when you and Ruby started getting it on."

"That was different. It's not like we were emotionally attached."

"Bullshit. I'm calling bullshit."

Sam flinched. "We_ weren't_ emotionally attached. Past tense."

Dean nodded. Sam hadn't even tried to deny it.

"Point is, she wasn't something entirely new for me. I've liked people that way before. You haven't as much. Especially not a man. You're going through a lot. Oh don't give me that look," he said, cutting Dean off before he could even open his mouth. "You may have a killer poker face, but I know you. And you need to talk. You've been doing that thing where you talk to your own brain. You could just talk to me instead."

"You know about that?"

"Dean, sometime you mutter to yourself."

"Oh. I need to stop doing that."

"Yeah. Now. Do you want to talk?"

"No."

"Dean…"

"I don't want to." He actually stuck out his lower lip.

"Oh my god, you're like a five year old. Fine, I'll start. You stare at him a creepy amount."

"He started it."

"More proof that you're a child. And he doesn't realize it isn't normal. You don't have that excuse."

And then the alcohol started betraying him. "It's not like I can help it. I don't know why you aren't staring at him all the time. Except that you're constantly making goo goo eyes at a demon. What the fuck is with that anyway, man? What inspired you to fuck a demon to begin with?"

"Like you wouldn't have, given half a chance."

"Sure, she's attractive, and I probably would have just once, you know, for experience. I'm sure she's a demon in the sack."

Sam rolled his eyes, as Dean grinned at him expectantly. "That was bad."

"You're just jealous of my pun skills."

"Yeah, jealous."

"But anyway, it would have only been once. What possessed you," another eye roll and grin, "to stick with it? Why did you become so attached? She's not much of a catch."

"Why not?"

"She's an evil bitch. Really. She's not even that interesting as far as demons go. There are fun ones. You had to pick a boring one. Figures."

"So what does constitute a 'catch'?"

"Oh, you know…" Dean waved his hand vaguely in front of him.

"No, actually, I don't."

"Kind? Generous? Not evil?"

"What makes Cas a catch?"

"Oh, he's not."

Sam raised his eyebrow. "Really?"

"I'm not nearly drunk enough for this conversation."

Sam tilted the bottle in his direction and, sighing, Dean took it, and began gulping liberally from it.

"I have no clue, literally no idea, why I like him. He's even more emotionally repressed than me, he doesn't know the meaning of the word fun, he's socially awkward and a dude. What happened, I don't know."

"Maybe because he'd do anything for you."

"It's scary, isn't it? When someone does so much for you, sacrifices everything and gives so much, it's a lot of pressure. What did I do in return? Start the freaking apocalypse. Pretty solid seduction technique there."

"It seems to have worked."

"Yeah. What am I going to do?"

"Dean, does he make you happy?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Um. I guess so. Kind of stressed at the moment. It's like, once he leaves the room, liking him becomes not okay again. Whenever he's there, it's really easy to be with him. But I start thinking about it and my brain starts talking to me and it sucks, because emotions suck man."

"That they do."

"And I can't decide if this makes me vulnerable because I'd do pretty much anything he asked me to, or not because he's like… solid. He's like my rock."

There was a pause.

"I can't believe I just said that."

Sam snorted.

Dean laughed.

And suddenly they were dissolving into fits of laughter that left their sides aching, clutching each other to avoid falling off the motel bed.

Dean was aware that it wasn't actually that funny, but it felt too good to stop.

XXX

Here she was, again. Broken up over Winchester, _again_.

This was getting ridiculous. She thought she was fine, getting a little bit back to normal, and then he came waltzing back into her life and everything came back.

He wouldn't leave her alone. Not even now, with the small, Sam-like voice that was so fresh in her mind that was keeping her from doing anything that might even remotely distract her.

Sam would disapprove.

Was she even a demon anymore? She had claimed to not want a demon life before, but if this is what humanity felt like, it fucking sucked.

_Take the soul back. I don't want it any more_.

Not if it meant Sam had this kind of control over her. If anyone had this kind of control over her.

XXX

Dean slept in.

When he woke, to a headache equivalent to if he had just been through a round with Thor's hammer, he found Sam already showered and tapping away at his computer.

"Wateryoodoin?" He mumbled. "Searly."

"It's two in the afternoon, Dean, it hardly counts as early. And I'm looking for a job for us to do."

Dean frowned. Sam had just barely recovered and he was already looking for a job. "Why?"

Sam shrugged. "I feel like killing something, and I'm thinking that fighting is no longer an option."

In reality, fighting hadn't been an option for a long time. Without Ruby's connections and with the enemies they had recently made and their long disappearance from the scene, the odds were not good for finding a fight.

It was most likely a good thing, but felt like the end of an era to finally admit that there was no going back.

They were hunters again.

And there were people to save and they had a job to do.

The world didn't stop just because it was about to end.

**Author's Note:** Hey! Look how soon this is up! Loooooooooooooooook. So, this is pretty much over. There will be one more chapter an epilogue of sorts. Sob. It's been real guys. I love you all.

_Next Time…_

_It seemed Hell continued to pursue him._


	30. Chapter 30

_ Previously…_

_ It was most likely a good thing, but felt like the end of an era to finally admit that there was no going back._

_ They were hunters again._

_ And…_

_ The world didn't stop just because it was about to end._

In retrospect, Dean thought, Lilith's death had been entirely predictable.

She had Heaven and Hell after her and only so many places to hide before she was caught.

It didn't stop the news from being an emotional tidal wave.

"Fuck!" Dean shouted just as Sam let out a small exhalation, almost like a sigh.

"So Lucifer is walking among us?" Sam asked, face showing no emotion, and Dean wondered momentarily if he had snapped. He himself felt like screaming.

Cas nodded gravely.

Dean looked between Castiel's stony expression and his brother's emotionless face. How could they remain so calm, when their world was breaking apart?

Sam stood abruptly, and Dean flinched at the sudden movement.

"I'm going for a walk."

He left before Dean could stop him. Looking outside, at the ice covering the roads and the snow falling from the sky, and to Sam's jacket lying over the back of the chair he had just vacated, Dean thought that maybe he wasn't so calm.

XXX

Sam was beginning to think that this had been a very bad idea.

Snow fell on his bared skin, melting upon contact, and he shivered, walking faster, in the vain hope movement would prevent death by hypothermia.

This was all his fault.

_Why do you have to keep fucking up?_

And the worst of it was, he couldn't even bring himself to be entirely pissed off. He was just the tiniest bit relieved.

Meg had told him the only way Dean would remain out of Hell was if Lilith died. If Dean had known, he would have fucked himself over, and saved the world, despite the personal consequences. Sam was not so heroic. If it had been his own soul on the line, sure, but Dean's? That was out of the question. He figured he was heading down anyway, fucking demons and drinking their blood, Sam had always been pursued by Hell. Yet Dean, who was at that moment most likely making moon eyes at an angel, that self sacrificing asshole, was the one who actually ended up there. It wasn't fair, and it wasn't something Sam would like to see repeated. So yes, part of him was happy Lilith was dead, that his brother could have a chance at happiness. Rainbows and puppies, or whatever Heaven consisted of.

The rest of him was guilty for feeling that.

"You got a light?"

He froze, and turned to face the familiar face, grinning up at him with a cigarette between wicked lips.

It seemed Hell continued to pursue him.

XXX

The awkwardness was back.

It was something that Dean felt was just beginning to ebb away. Or maybe he was simply adjusting to it. But it was back in force now. It was sending for reinforcements or something.

"How did it happen?" He finally asked, his voice cracking on the first word.

"She was ambushed by a pack of demons, most likely they were hoping for a reward, just outside Cincinnati, earlier this morning."

"Oh."

He was still figuring out how one should react to the news of the impending apocalypse when he heard the words come out of his mouth.

"What now?"

"Heaven and Hell pursue you, and they ultimately burn the world."

"What can we do?"

"I don't know yet."

"We'll find something," Dean said stubbornly.

"I have faith in you."

There it was again. Cas believed in him. Despite all the fuck ups. It was surreal.

And he was staring at him again.

"Dean. I feel the need to initiate contact."

Dean almost smiled. "You don't need to warn me, you know."

"Oh. In that case."

Cas reached out his hand, and Dean took it, still marveling at despite how everything became so awkward, touching him seemed perfectly normal and the world a little better, and gently kissed his knuckles.

"I approve of this contact."

Dean, however, figured it wasn't enough contact. "Come on," he said, and dragged Castiel against him.

XXX

"What do you want now?"

"Light?" She said, still smirking up at him. "I know you carry around that lighter everywhere."

Automatically, he slid his hand into his pocket and brought out the lighter, flicking it open and lighting it in one smooth motion.

"Much obliged," she said once she'd pulled away from the flame, which proceeded to sputter and die in the harsh winter winds.

"What do you want, Ruby?" He finally sighed out when she made no move to start a conversation.

She shrugged. "I can't just want the pleasure of your company and a light?"

"I don't think you would trust me enough to risk coming here for something so simple. I might kill you. Dean definitely would."

She snorted. "I'd like to see him try."

"You know he could. You've seen him."

"Yes, with your help."

"I am here, you may have noticed."

"But you won't kill me."

"And why not, pray tell?"

She looked at him. "You know why. You're in denial Sam, it's unattractive."

"I don't care about what is or is not attractive right now. The world is ending, and I apparently care about a demon." He turned his head to the aside to look at her askance. "You must have noticed, the world is about to end, so why wouldn't a turncoat demon seek me out?"

She looked away and focused her attention on the burning tip of her cigarette, which she periodically flicked, sending ash cascading into the bitter wind beside the swirling smoke, barely ever actually putting it to her lips. She remained silent, intent on her inane task.

"This could be so painless," she said in one breath, still refusing to make eye contact. "The world, it could just end already, save everyone the pain of waiting and a slow decline into complete chaos."

Her words were a slap to the face. "What?"

"Wouldn't it be better, if it were a swift blow, the great battle, instead of Lucifer raining hell on earth until in collapses in on itself?"

"Do you even realize what you're saying?"

She finally did meet his eyes, and they looked completely black. He couldn't tell if it was the demon or the lighting. "Think about it, Sam," she said in the same tone with which one might chastise a stupid child. "Would you rather have a fast, relatively painless death, or be tortured for days until your body can't take it anymore, and it simply gives up?"

"There's more chance for survival in a prolonged death. More opportunities to escape fate."

"And if it can't be escaped? What would you prefer? Better yet, what would you wish on others?"

Her eyes flashed bright and red in the darkness like a flare making Sam stumble backwards in shock. The smirk in place had none of Ruby left in it.

"What are you?" He demanded. "What have you done to her?"

The smirk widened.

"Think on what I've said."

With a wave of energy that blew out the streetlamp the thing had disappeared.

XXX

"It was the Devil."

Both of them stared at Cas, uncomprehending.

"So," Sam said slowly. "Minutes after being released from the pit, Lucifer visits… me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you are his true vessel."

"Whoa, fuck, hold up," Dean cut in. "Slow down. I don't believe in this fate bullshit. So why Sammy?"

"Because of his relationship with you, his family heritage and more recently, his resilience and high tolerance for demon blood."

Dean's eyes snapped to Sam accusingly.

"I'm clean," Sam said in a hurt tone.

"What do you mean his relationship with me?"

"Rebellious younger brother, the obedient older. It is the same relationship that broke heaven apart."

"So, this ridiculous path we've been on our entire lives, has just led us to this point? Pawns?"

"I did not choose this Dean. It was all decided long before I was born."

"You still should have told me."

"I know," Cas said quietly.

Dean rubbed his hand down his face. "What does this mean for us?"

"It could mean multiple things," Cas said. "To become vessels, you must say yes. If you do, you lose yourself, Heaven and Hell are free to rain full apocalypse on the earth."

"So," Dean said. "All we have to do is say no?"

"They can be very persuasive."

"I'm assuming persuasive is not a positive nor subtle quality in this case?" Sam said, with a quirk to the side of his mouth.

Cas tilted his head to the side a fraction of an inch. "No. They will threaten you, torture you, make your life hell until you agree."

"Awesome," Dean said, throwing his hands up. "So we run?"

"What else is new?" Sam put in, Dean gave him a glare.

"I can give you a certain amount of protection, keep you mainly out of the sight of angels, but it will be temporary."

"Until we can find a way to stop this," Dean said. There was a stubborn set to his jaw. Tremulous, but set, like the first time he'd shot a rifle, or faced down something nasty.

"If anyone can, it will be you two."

Cas disappeared, with one last meaningful look with Dean, to which Sam rolled his eyes, and got up to find alcohol.

He passed a beer to Dean as he sat back down, who gave him a nod of thanks.

The world was ending, it was mostly their fault, and it was on their shoulders to stop it, with Heaven and Hell on their tail the whole time.

Their stable form of income was gone.

They were both hopelessly entangled with an angel and a demon, despite their best efforts.

Dean let out a deep sigh. "We're fucked."

Sam snorted and clinked his bottle against his brother's. "What else is new?"

THE END

**Author's Note:** So it's finally over, and I have to apologize for the ending. I'm bad with endings, or beginnings and you know that part in the middle. Anyway, it has been fantastic of all of you to keep reading this and to those of you who just joined up hi. And bye. Love you all.


End file.
